Drake Tour Bus Causes Portland Traffic Jam

drake as ETDrake may be the type of nigga to hand out apples on Halloween (no need to remind me that I’m white), but he’s also the type to walk onto the highway of the town he’s touring in and throw speakers and light fixtures in front of decent, hard-working people who are trying to make a living doing something other than singing about ass and chainz.

Alright, truthfully he didn’t quite do that, but a bus full of his equipment did cause a traffic jam on I-5 in my dreary hippie-infested town of Portland, Oregon this morning.

His concert at Moda Center (formerly The Rose Garden, home of the Trail Blazers) is still happening at this very moment. I was totally sent VIP tickets but opted out in favor of a sad movie and peppermint tea.

If you must know, my favorite new Drake song is “Come Thru,” but only because of the ridiculous line “I can still get you wet and I can still make you laugh.” You and I both know Drake couldn’t get the ocean wet…