Underwear Model Jamie ‘Golden Torso’ Dornan Cast as Christian Grey

Jamie Dornan steamy photo gallery Hey depraved ladies and spicy gay gents, we have a new Christian Grey and he’s handsome and fit and has better hair than Charlie Hunnam!

If you haven’t seen Jamie Dornan‘s work as a steamy Calvin Klein Adonis as the Huntsman on Once Upon a Time or a pervy serial murderer in The Fall co-starring Gillian Anderson, take a deep breath and gaze into the physical prowess that may or may not make you say “Matt Bomer who?”

In 2006, Dornan was nicknamed “The Golden Torso” by the New York Times after he landed a small part in Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

Like Henry Cavill and so many sexy time sex bomb dudes, Dornan thrusts his crotch in our direction mumbling the words “I don’t see myself as particularly good-looking” with a completely straight face.

Continue reading “Underwear Model Jamie ‘Golden Torso’ Dornan Cast as Christian Grey”

Rihanna Plays Grab-Ass on a Boat, Bitch

Rihanna grabbing girl's buttSuperstar contrasting wearer of fluorescent Supra Skytops, trucker hats and Armani Rihanna took a break from rolling spliffs and dollar bills to spend time with supermodel flavor of the year, Cara Delevingne on a giant boat.

Delevingne has literally been seen with every British person ever (plus Rihanna). Harry Styles, Rita Ora, Kate Moss… whoever.

I’m convinced it’s because, like most models, Cara is offbeat looking. She’s slightly crosseyed and professionally scrawny, but she cleans up well. This is perfectly non-threatening for high-profile lady-friend-divas with inflated egos.

She deserves at least one pat on the butt and two tequila shots for banging greasy musician types (like Pete Doherty) instead of RiRi’s potential lovers. —–> MORE PHOTOS HERE. <—–

Paris Hilton Apologizes For Making Fun Of Her Gay Friend

People are looking sideways at Paris Hilton lately because of comments about gay men that were secretly recorded in a New York taxi. The key part of the story is that she was in the car with her friend, an openly gay model.

Now, what she said was not by any means admirable, I just understand how it could have happened.

In the recording, confirmed as authentic by Paris’s own publicist, she says, “Gay guys are the horniest people in the world” and “most of them probably have AIDS.”

The most of them have AIDS thing was in reference to the gay hookup app Grindr, that she was being shown by her companion.  Continue reading “Paris Hilton Apologizes For Making Fun Of Her Gay Friend”

Sears Forgets To Photoshop Nipple Off Exotic Apparel Model (NSFW)

Sears were accused of smut peddling after an image of a woman in a purple mesh slip revealed a little more than you’d expect from a company famous for appliance sales.

I’ve put a blurry square over the woman to avoid the unlikely possibility of threatening letters from WordPress, but you can view the original photo HERE to see what the fuss is about.

The American Family Association has taken the matter into their own prudish hands.

“Sears knows they are selling smut. Technology allows Sears to remove and stop selling these posters within minutes, so why won’t they?” says AFA president Tim Wildmon.

Model Stav Strashko Confuses Straight Men In New Toyota Ad

Fabulous non-trans Ukrainian model Stav Strashko appears in a new Japanese ad for the Toyota Auris (aka Corolla) runway walking towards the product, revealing at the end that he is not in a fact, a she.

Earlier in 2012, Strashko discussed his beginnings as a king of gender-blurring.  Continue reading “Model Stav Strashko Confuses Straight Men In New Toyota Ad”

Epic Victoria’s Secret Photoshop Fail

This is a photo of what I assume was once a woman, though it looks like two different people wearing matching pink Victoria’s Secret underwear, juxtaposed by men who masturbate to body dysmorphia awareness videos.

The model is Brazil’s Lais Ribeiro. Emphasis on “rib,” I guess (too easy). VS’s Facebook has already received nearly 2,000 comments on it ranging from “sexy” to “anorexia?”

It takes a second to even realize what’s wrong with it, kind of like a Magic Eye poster. If you’re completely tainted by the constant bombardment of other poorly Photoshopped advertisements and promos, I will spell it out for you…

The bottom part of her stomach is much bigger than the top, where her arms cross. SEE IT?

 

Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing

Everyone’s been talking about Lindsay Lohan‘s 17 year-old sister’s new look. Ali Lohan’s modeling portfolio has opened our eyes to the fears of “growing up.”

Or is it plastic surgery? Or maybe she just started eating more scarcely than Cinderella, and intentionally stopped plucking her eyebrows.

She looks like some sort of terrifying 95-pound waif-mannequin. Someone help her!

And whatever you do, don’t book her for any work! Nobody encourage this possibly UFO-abductee!…

Continue reading “Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing”

Baseball Player Demands Mermaid Date

27 year-old Phillies outfielder John Mayberry is determined to catch himself a mermaid.

After Mayberry asked his agent to set him up on a date with Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 mermaid/model/actress Antoinette Nikprelaj a series of emails were leaked regarding the matter…

Continue reading “Baseball Player Demands Mermaid Date”