Scott Disick Rubs Money on His Butt and Face

Scott disick toilet paper moneyScott Disick holding money
“Lord” Scott Disick should get paid to have someone write a book for him if he hasn’t already. It can be all about how many doors open for you once you marry and impregnate a famous rich girl.

And also the EXACT amount of money you make from being Kourtney Kardashian’s house elf.

Fortunately we don’t have to wait, because Scott has just posted a series of photos on Instagram of his true love in various positions…

Against his face, as toilet paper, and spread eagle near his various purses and watches.  Continue reading “Scott Disick Rubs Money on His Butt and Face”

LEAVE OMAROSA ALONE: Reality Star Accused of Being ‘Fixated’ on Michael Clarke Duncan’s Money

Omarosa crying I wouldn’t normally speak ill of a family who recently suffered a loss, but in the case of Michael Clarke Duncan’s sister, I might have to make an exception.

Judy Duncan claims that her brother’s fiancé, TV villain Omarosa Manigault, was “fixated” on his money when he was on life support and that he was not of “sound mind” when he changed his will to make her the main beneficiary.

To sum it up, ol’ Judy wanted more than the $100,000 Michael, who passed away in fall of 2012, left her.

I’m tired of the misconception that Omarosa is a gold-digging bitch of an attention whore. Instead, I call upon you to think of her as a professional reality show villain.

Yes, Omarosa became a Celebrity Apprentice contestant and Surreal Life cast member after competing on regular Apprentice, but she’s also a well-educated business woman, specializing in broadcast journalism and communications.  Continue reading “LEAVE OMAROSA ALONE: Reality Star Accused of Being ‘Fixated’ on Michael Clarke Duncan’s Money”

Teenage ‘Modern Family’ Star Makes More in One Year Than You Will in Four Lifetimes

Rico Rodriguez glasses Rico Rodriguez has come a long way since the pre-Modern Family days of bit parts on Cory in the House and iCarly.

14-year-old Rodriguez’s new contract entitles him to over $75,000 per episode for his work as Manny Delgado on ABC’s hit show in the current fourth season and an additional $10,000 per episode for each year the show continues.

You know what this means? The kid gets paid around $2 million a year to look deep into the mesmerizing koi pond known as Sofia Vergara’s boobs.

(I don’t understand the popularity of this show, but it at least seems better than Two and a Half Men.)

Lady Gaga Sued By Assistant/Best Friend Jennifer O’Neill For $400,000

Lady Gaga's assistantLady Gaga‘s best friend since she was 19 and assistant from 2009 to 2011 is suing her for $393,000, claiming she owes her over 7,000 hours of overtime pay.

Jennifer O’Neill says she could not handle Gaga’s weird requests, like sharing a bed with her every night and being by her side “virtually 24 hours a day, seven days a week.” Meanwhile, Gaga insists that O’Neill, who she calls a bad friend who never did her job properly, knew from the start that there was no paid overtime.

“I’m going to give all the money that she wants to my employees that work hard for me now that deserve it,” Gaga said during her deposition. “I’m not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top.” Continue reading “Lady Gaga Sued By Assistant/Best Friend Jennifer O’Neill For $400,000”

Infamous Child Molester R. Kelly Releases Tribute To Sandy Hook Elementary

R. Kelly tuxedo 1The song is “I Know You Are Hurting.” It’s in the vein of “I Believe I Can Fly” and “You Are Not Alone” and it was just released by R. Kelly as a tribute to the kids of Newtown, Connecticut.

While it’s hard to speak ill of him and the fact that he’s donating the proceeds to the victims’ families, it seems inappropriate considering he was charged with seven counts of producing child pornography in 2002.

Is this just one of those times when you hush me? Because I understand.

Take the money. And if he donates out of his own pocket, it’s probably “Trapped In The Closet” money, not at all tainted by the fact that he recorded himself peeing on a 14-year-old. Continue reading “Infamous Child Molester R. Kelly Releases Tribute To Sandy Hook Elementary”

Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson

Lindsay Lohan role modelsLindsay Lohan has the luck of a toad stuffed in a mailbox with a handful of lit fireworks, so it’s good that she has helpful people like Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Michael Lohan in her life.

After learning that Lindsay owed quite a hefty sum ($233,904) to the IRS, who have seized her bank accounts, Sheen reportedly offered Lindsay $100,000 after getting close with her on the set of Scary Movie 5. That sort of makes sense, I guess. Mel Gibson telling Extra that he “may” help Lindsay makes less sense, except that he must relate to being disliked.

Forget washed-up actors with misplaced paternal feelings! Actual father Michael Lohan has weighed in. “Where is all her money going?” he said in his usual opinionated-but-innocent-bystander type of way.  Continue reading “Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson”

Cissy Houston Gives Up On Blocking Bobbi Kristina’s Inheritance

The family drama between Whitney Houston‘s mom and daughter has come to a halt, for the moment.

TMZ reports that Cissy Houston has finally given up on trying to keep her granddaughter, Bobbi Kristina, from acquiring her mother’s fortune, a whopping $20 million dollars. Now BK can pay for all her wedding expenses. You know, the flowers, live music from Jordin Sparks (free), and the cake with the plastic figures of her and her brother on top…

I’m reminding you of the brother thing because I was watching The Talk last week and the ladies were saying how Kristina’s relationship on The Houstons: On Our Own with her not-blood-related brother, Nick Gordon, isn’t that creepy and people need to pipe down.  Continue reading “Cissy Houston Gives Up On Blocking Bobbi Kristina’s Inheritance”

Chinese Businessman Offers $65 Million To Any “Kind-Hearted Man” Who Will Marry His Lesbian Daughter

Notorious lothario and Hong Kong shipping tycoon Cecil Chao is willing to cough up $65 million dollars to the first man that he deems worthy of marrying his daughter.

Here’s the thing, his daughter, 33-year-old Gigi Chao, is a lesbian who has been in a committed relationship with her partner for seven years. She’s also begging her father to “rescind the notice” for his “family’s sanity’s sake.”

Chao senior has reportedly received thousands of proposals.

“People send me letters, emails and faxes. I haven’t had time to read them yet. I’ll have to discuss it with Gigi,” Cecil told the South China Morning Post newspaper.  Continue reading “Chinese Businessman Offers $65 Million To Any “Kind-Hearted Man” Who Will Marry His Lesbian Daughter”

Mark Zuckerberg Got Married And Everyone’s Thinking ‘I Hope He Has A Prenup’

Mark Zuckerberg married his girlfriend of nine years, Priscilla Chan, on Saturday. Before you start tossing around gold digger accusations, that was in 2003 – Mark’s sophomore year in college and at least two years before Facebook got big.

The ceremony was held in Zuckerberg’s home in Palo Alto. Friends and family were tricked into thinking they were attending a medical school graduation ceremony for Chan to avoid a media frenzy.

Typical Mark, always making people think they’re doing one thing when really it’s another. Like forcing them to get Timeline, sharing their personal information with advertisers, or changing the privacy setting functionality every other month.  Continue reading “Mark Zuckerberg Got Married And Everyone’s Thinking ‘I Hope He Has A Prenup’”

Melissa Etheridge’s Ex Is A Greedy Witch

Melissa Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels, played a crazy stalker on The L Word and is apparently crazy in real life as well. I know this because she claims that $23,000 a month in spousal/child support is not enough to live off of.

Michaels, her girlfriend of over eight years whom she separated from in 2010, is saying she got used to living on no less than $128,000 a month back when they were together.

I feel so bad for her that I wish a truck full of silver coins would run over her legs.

Etheridge claims that Michaels burned their song with a cigarette (by accident) while Michaels accuses Etheridge of refusing to get their kids vaccinated and turning them against her. The two are headed to court in May.

Octomom’s Tentacles Are Grasping Welfare Cards

Nadya Suleman aka Octomom, famous for being the second woman in America to give birth to octuplets, is collecting welfare.

In 2010 the mother of 14 inkblots total vowed that she would never be “a self-fulfilling prophecy,” taking direct deposits from the government.

This news comes after an unusual amount of fame-whoring from Suleman, like her nudity in Closer Magazine and job with Dial-A-Star, where you can talk to her for $14.00 a minute at 1-888-695-4543. (A dollar per child)

She reportedly earns $2,000 a month from the state of California and had to make less than $119,000 a year to qualify.

At one point all of her children were attending private school and “sources” had hinted that she was terrible at budgeting her income so this news is hardly surprising.

Terrell Owens Is BROKE, Bank Account Drained By Bloodthirsty Baby Mamas

Terrell Owens is looking to lessen his many child support fees due to the fact that he has absolutely no money coming in.

According to documents obtained by TMZ, Owens owes the following amounts:

To Kimberly Floyd, the mother of his 7 year-old daughter, he currently pays $15,000 a month.

To Monique Reynolds, the mother to his 12 year-old son, Terique. He once gave her $100,000 to help buy a house, and owes her $11,202 dollars a year. That amount was nearly twice that amount, until last year.

Continue reading “Terrell Owens Is BROKE, Bank Account Drained By Bloodthirsty Baby Mamas”

How Much Would You Pay To See Lindsay Lohan Naked?

Hopefully it’s around $7.00, because that’s all you’ll have to pay once Lindsay’s Playboy issue is released on the newsstands!

On the other hand, TMZ is reporting that LiLo is receiving nearly a million dollars for her freckly nudity, which we’ve actually already sort of seen in movies like Machete and in her 2008 Monroe spread.

So, aren’t you lucky to be a mere creeper and not Hugh Hefner, who is getting ripped the fuck off. Who says she’ll even show up on time, or at all?

And where does she find time for all this work? You’d think she’d have no openings in between cleaning up corpse body hair and skin particles at the morgue and hiring people to unscrew her ankle bracelet for opium sessions in the subway.

Nicki Minaj Prefers Lippy Paupers To Cocky Princes

In the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine Nick Minaj let the world know that men who try to blow her mind and say they’re the best at this moment in life with their super blazin’ wallets make her dungeon dragon sad.

Enough snarling Minajian song references, this is serious business. Nicki says:

“I may be smiling in their face, but my antenna is up…When they’re trying to show off their cash or their watch, it’s an immediate turn-off.”

Then she put her pink shoe in her mouth a little bit by spouting a little too much confidence, kind of like those same guys who flaunt their benjamins to her:

“I’m around millionaires and athletes every day who think, ‘All I need to do is get in a room with Nicki Minaj’ and they’re gonna leave with my number…You can’t run game on a rapper. I’m always 10 steps ahead of you.”

Continue reading “Nicki Minaj Prefers Lippy Paupers To Cocky Princes”

‘Creature’ Breaks Records, Worst At Box Office

The kitschy Swamp Thing ripoff, Creature rolled into theaters last Friday in 1,507 theaters around America and earned only about $331,000 over a three-day period.

Creature nearly did the worst at the box office EVER considering how many theaters it was shown at. The average amount of screenings for a movie is around 2,500, but that hardly makes up for the lack of attendees.

Creature had the second worst-grossing opening of all time in the U.S. (The per-showing average was about six people)

The only movie to beat out Creature for worst opener per-theater was Proud American, a political drama from 2008.

Even with it’s low-budget and f-list cast, the movie will go down as a cult B-movie that is a prime example of a film that needed to go straight-to-DVD.

Natalia KILLS IT, Whispers To Recession… Tweets Like Crazy

Wanna be like Midas
But my bank account is minus

Gotta stretch that dollar bill
Stretch that dollar
Need a genie in a bottle
Change a quarter to a hundred
Gotta stretch that dollar bill
Stretch that dollar bill

I’m free
I just spent all my money
But I rocked that like it don’t cost a thing
Free
Burned a hole in my pocket
But I rocked that like it don’t cost a thing

Continue reading “Natalia KILLS IT, Whispers To Recession… Tweets Like Crazy”