Trailer: Godzilla

For those looking to fill the void left by Pacific Rim, there’s a new Godzilla coming in spring of 2014.

Directed by relative unknown Gareth Edwards and released by Legendary Pictures, the classic monster flick’s new teaser is narrated by a seriously ominous David Strathairn.

It also stars Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, Juliette Binoche and Kickass’ Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is scooping up roles Shia LaBeouf would have been offered years ago, before he became a dreadlock-having piece of penis-flashing performance art.

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-10-12]

Zombie Disney princesses and Ronald McDonald. Enough said. (i09/Deviant Art)

Dwight Howard in a Lakers jersey. #$&%! (ShavarRoss)

Britney Spears looks hot again. But then again, I say that every year. (Starpulse)

Usain Bolt is a pretty decent photographer. (Yahoo!)

Fifty Shades Of Grey has a soundtrack now. (L.A. Times)

Some lady give birth in the park and Jonah Hill saw the whole thing. (TMZ)

The guy who sings “Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)” is gay. (Twitchy)

Kim Kardashian and her sisters put on glasses. Suddenly look really smart. (Gawker)

Monster energy drink stole 26 songs from the Beastie Boys. Beasties sue. (Spin)

Bourne series without Jason Bourne is weird. (Rolling Stone)

Seven Olympic athletes from Cameroon vanished into thin air (WebProNews)

Rihanna wasn’t as ghetto as Oprah thought she would be. (The Hollywood Gossip)

A woman is growing fingernails on her face and nobody knows why. (KTLA)