Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D (It’s Bad, But Not As Bad As You’d Think)

Alexandra Daddario chainsawTexas Chainsaw 3D beat out the Christmas-favorites Django Unchained and Les Miserables this weekend for a surprising $23 million box office victory. Rare for an R-rated horror movie, and a franchise that many feel is more hopeless and dead than Leatherface’s victims.

The seventh installment, starring Alexandra Daddario (Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Parenthood), “Say Ahh” rapper Trey Songz and Scott Eastwood (Clint’s son), opens with footage from the 1974 classic, and starts where it left off.  Continue reading “Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D (It’s Bad, But Not As Bad As You’d Think)”

Did Lionsgate Use Their Hunger Games Money To Pay Off ‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Critics?

The plot of The Cabin In The Woods isn’t something I can talk much about. I can say that the ending insulted my intelligence, that the acting was bad and the special effects worse. Oh, and it’s not scary. Still want to see it?

I can’t warn you enough that it isn’t worth the price of a movie ticket or even a plastic bouncy ball from the Dollar Tree.

You’ll know from watching the trailer that there are five typical horror characters here – the jock, the whore, the fool, the scholar and the virgin.

This group of college-age people travel up to a cabin, belonging to the cousin of jock Chris Hemsworth aka Thor, that is being heavily monitored by an unseen group, Hunger Games-style. It’s part Evil Dead, part Truman Show, part Thirteen Ghosts.  Continue reading “Did Lionsgate Use Their Hunger Games Money To Pay Off ‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Critics?”

Reasons To See ‘Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark’

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark is the  newest horror movie to open in theaters, written and produced by Guillermo Del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, The Orphanage) and directed by feature film virgin Troy Nixey.

This is a semi-familiar tale, of a girl (Bailee Madison) who is sent to live with her father (Guy Pearce) and his girlfriend (Katie Holmes) in the historic mansion that they are renovating together. The great thing about this movie is it is not chock-full of deaths, pointless gore or over the top rock music that fees like advertising.

It is suspenseful, and thrilling though not necessarily scary, not that it doesn’t provide a few jolts in your seat. As soon as Sally (Madison, of Just Go With It, and Brothers) moves in, the house’s deadly past begins surfacing, at first to only Sally, making it all the more frusterating.

An evil presence, we’ll call it, though it is not ghosts or devils, think something more typical of Del Toro, seen in Hellboy II and Pan’s Labyrinth, is prevalent here…

Continue reading “Reasons To See ‘Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark’”

Reasons to NOT See ‘Fright Night’

Guess what? I just got back from spectating the new Fright Night remake in 3D, starring Colin Farrell and Anton Yelchin, and guess what else? (This is an easy one) It wasn’t very good!

Here are the most crucial reasons to NOT see Fright Night:

  • The original is better.
  • Some key elements were left out from the original  (like Jerry’s “guardian”/slave who shares him home)
  • Charley’s character doesn’t spend nearly enough time spying and gathering info on his neighbor (a large part of 1985’s Fright Night)
  • It’s only funny like, three times max
  • The 3D is barely used except for a few vampire ashes that do little more than give you vertigo
  • Terrible vampire effects and editing (there’s a scene where Yelchin is in the front seat of a moving car, then magically appears in the back seat, then the front again)
  • Doesn’t deserve an R rating (more like PG-13)
  • Patronizing use of indie music (Foster The People’s “Pumped Up Kicks”+ Hugo’s “99 Problems”)
  • It’s WAY too long, 120 minutes total
  • Unoriginal, no unique market for today’s audience

Continue reading “Reasons to NOT See ‘Fright Night’”

Hesher Is THE Underrated Indie Dramedy Of 2011

The opening scene of Hesher immediately has you asking questions, a kid on his bicycle, chasing a car that is being towed away. Is that a young Hesher? Why is he chasing the car? Is this movie even about what I think it is? Well, yes and no, it’s not about what you think, in fact the brilliance in Hesher lies in that it is not necessarily “about” anything. This is a reality, with a slight filter of misfortune or anguish. Why Hesher earned only limited release in the U.S. and a mere 55% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me. I instantly feel that this is a misunderstood movie, and want to jump to it’s defense much like Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character does for T.J., the young boy in the film, a classic victim of bullying played by Devin Brochu. (In The Valley Of Elah, Rubber)

Continue reading “Hesher Is THE Underrated Indie Dramedy Of 2011”