Buffy’s Nicholas Brendon Arrested for Injuring a Plate

Nicholas Brendon now and thenNicolas Brendon, who many know as Xander on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was arrested for causing a ruckus in a hotel lobby in Boise. You may have just randomly developed boredom narcolepsy thinking about sad, out-of-work actors whose early credits include “basketball player one” in Children of the Corn: Urban Harvest getting drunk in Idaho, but trust me, there’s some meat to this story.

The hotel’s main beef with Brendon was the breaking of a “decorative dish,” which earned him a charge of “malicious injury to property.”  Continue reading “Buffy’s Nicholas Brendon Arrested for Injuring a Plate”

Alabama woman cheats death

22-year-old Lynsey Horne's mugshot
“Very lucky” Auburn woman Lynsey Horne’s mugshot

On Wednesday morning authorities in Auburn, Alabama received several calls from concerned citizens who reported a woman was run over by a train.

Turns out the women fell asleep on the train track and the train passed over her.

When police arrived at the scene, 22-year- old Lynsey Horne was still asleep on the train tracks.

So of course this lady was very intoxicated, according to Auburn police Captain Lorenza Dorsey, but luckily she was uninjured.

“She’s very fortunate that the train went over her and did not strike her,” Dorsey told The Huffington Post on Friday.  Continue reading “Alabama woman cheats death”

Chris Kattan Stumbles Like a Bad SNL Sketch Prior to DUI Arrest

Chris Kattan mugshot DUIChris Kattan, lovable comedic actor and former Saturday Night Live cast member Chris Kattan (Mr. Peepers, Mango, Doug Butabi from A Night at the Roxbury) was arrested for hitting a parked car last week, and TMZ has a video of him a few hours prior wobbling around an airplane like he just watched back-to-back showings of Gravity at IMAX.

An utterly harmless 5’6″ Kattan, who admitted to taking prescription drugs and was reportedly seen “weaving all over the roadway at slow speeds” tweeted that he was more tired than high.

“I just got back from a 15 hour flight after touring out of the country. I was exhausted. The police were so kind. I’m lucky nobody was hurt,” he said, channelling his inner Canadian.

#DeportBieber Trends on Twitter Following DUI Arrest

Jutin Bieber tiger beat mugshot memeJustin Bieber was pulled over and taken into police custody today in Miami Beach for resisting arrest, driving under the influence and driving with an expired license, because Justin doesn’t have time to renew things, not yell “fuck” at the cops, or have someone else drive him after he’s washed a few Xanax down with his martinis.

He had a pretty HUGE smile on his beautiful ladyface in his mugshot, which totally inspired some radical photoshops, dude. (The best involved Orange is the New Black and Miley Cyrus, separately.)

Justin’s hooliganism arrest also inspired some kindness from his thousands of remaining fans on Twitter. Crap like “#PrayersforBieber” and “FreeBieber” trended, while the rest of us pushed “DeportBieber.” From TMZ:

According to the police report — obtained by TMZ — cops approached Bieber’s car and they instantly realized he reeked of alcohol and had bloodshot eyes.  He had a “stupor” look on his face.

The police report says … Bieber was defiant from the get-go, yelling at the cops, “Why the f**k are you doing this?”  He also yelled, “What the f**k did I do.  Why did you stop me?”  Continue reading “#DeportBieber Trends on Twitter Following DUI Arrest”

Rejoice! The Swiss Cheese Pervert is Behind Bars

Swiss cheese pervert mugshotLast weekend we heard about a 40-something man in Philadelphia who was terrorizing women by putting cheese on his penis, driving up to women and asking them to blow and/or handy j him.

This age old story with the added bonus of things we usually put on sandwiches came to a conclusion when Chris Pagano, nicknamed the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” by the press, was arrested this morning in Norristown.

Turns out, Pagano was also cuffed in 2009.

From PhillyMag.com:

Monday: Court documents revealed that Pagano was arrested in 2009 after he allegedly “removed a large block of cheese from his pocket” and offered a woman on the street “$20 to rub the Swiss cheese on his penis.” Pagano pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and a solicitation charge against him was dismissed.  Continue reading “Rejoice! The Swiss Cheese Pervert is Behind Bars”

BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment

Amanda Bynes short hairAmanda Bynes has no hair, no sanity, and according to her, no bong.

After being arrested and charged with unlawful possession of marijuana and reckless endangerment for allegedly throwing a bong out the window of her Manhattan apartment, Bynes tweeted that she doesn’t do drugs at all.

“I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot,” she wrote.

Amanda showed up to court in a messy blonde wig looking like Smurfette after an incestual gangbang.

So… Her shopping list now includes a new bong, more rhinoplasty and a better toupee?  Continue reading “BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment”

Lindsay Lohan Goes Junior College Dropout in Latest Mugshot

Lindsay Lohan mugshot 2013 Lindsay Lohan took time off flicking cigarettes at ducks in the park and sipping lettuce cocktails at club this-n-that to pose for a new booking photo. Good thing she was already in the courthouse, because good luck getting her and that five-hours-ahead-internal-clock to show up for anything besides a coke-handoff behind El Pollo Loco.

This new mugshot is possibly her best. It displays the signature pursed modeling for Hustler 101 lips, the raised “don’t judge me” eyebrow, with messy hair and a laid-back track jacket. Something in between burnout and prom queen.

(A red-headed Ashley Rickards in Awkward?)

Lohan’s latest epic dodgeball game with jail involves 90 days in an especially strict rehab center, 18 months of talking about how everyone is against her and 30 days of picking up trash by the freeway.

Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists

Desmond Bryant mugshotRaiders DT Desmond Bryant (not to be confused with Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant) rolled his drunken eyes and stuck out his tongue for a shirtless mugshot at Dade County’s correctional facility Sunday morning.

Bryant was reportedly arrested for causing an inebriated commotion at a neighbor’s home in Miami.

Deadspin has the photo(s) of the NFL star and is holding a photoshop contest. Currently in the unofficial running: him as a seal, him chopped into one of Beyonce’s unflattering Superbowl pics, and him in The Miracle Worker.

Desmond becomes an unrestricted free agent on March 12. It’s really too bad he can’t go play with fellow best/worst mugshot contender Todd Helton.  Continue reading “Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists”

Dirty AZ Cops and Bouncers Rough Up Jason London’s Hair and Glasses

Jason London beaten up by copsLet’s do a short debriefing on identical twin actor brothers Jason London and Jeremy LondonCelebrity Rehab/Party of Five/Mallrats Jeremy London was in the news a lot for bad behavior (drugs, battery, climbing a tree, pretending to be kidnapped) from 2010 to 2012.

Unlike his brother, Dazed and Confused’s JASON London is still a working actor with multiple movie and television projects in the works, but that could be slowed by the fact that he was arrested on Sunday for a bar fight in Arizona.

Skip the mundane parts of the report and you’ve got Jason walking around Scottsdale bleeding, attracting the attention of the police. When they arrive he calls one of them a “faggot” and says he owns them because he’s “a motherf***ing famous actor.”

Continue reading “Dirty AZ Cops and Bouncers Rough Up Jason London’s Hair and Glasses”

Stephen Baldwin Makes Donald Trump Proud in Classy Mugshot

Stephen Baldwin mugshot 2012Trump’s long-lost son Stephen Baldwin gave Lindsay Lohan a run for her lack of money when he was arrested on Thursday for failing to file tax returns for three years (2008, 2009, and 2010).

According to TMZ, Stephen owes New York $350,000 in back taxes, beating Lohan by $116,096, or a day’s worth of living expenses. Baldwin faces four years in prison, which isn’t a big deal because people who go to jail for tax evasion never get raped as much. I’m a little upset because I forgot that Daniel is the Baldwin who moved to Oregon. Would have been big news for our state, but his classy suit would have sizable mold stains from all THE DAMN RAIN.

Somebody buy me a Gingerbread Latte from Starbucks to shut me up.

Disorderly Conduct Charges Against Sam Worthington Dropped

A doorman at Atlanta’s Vortex Bar & Grill got Avatar/Terminator Salvation/Man on a Ledge/Wrath of the Titans star Sam Worthington‘s panties in a bunch when he denied the actor access to the establishment.

Skinhead Sam (yes that’s his actual mugshot), was reportedly “highly intoxicated,” pushed the doorman and yelled “I’m a DEA agent! You fucked up now!” after he was refused entry and pepper sprayed in the face.

The charges against Worthington, who is playing a DEA agent called “Monster” in Ten co-starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, were dropped after the doorman accuser failed to appear in court to tell his side of the story…

Continue reading “Disorderly Conduct Charges Against Sam Worthington Dropped”

Flavor Flav’s Latest Vegas Mugshot Is Priceless

Flavor Flav was arrested for the second time in Las Vegas, this time for assault with a deadly weapon.

Flav apparently got into some kind of disagreement with his fiancé and her son and pulled a knife on them.

He was released on bail after taking a pitifully sad-eyed, grey-dreadlocked mugshot.

What do you think he was fighting about with his lady love? I think it was about him not picking New York over Hoopz or Deelishis on Flavor of Love.

Did they forget to jingle the keys behind the camera this time? I say that because he was smiling in last year’s mugshot.

When I used to do those horrible grade school photos they had a Lampchop puppet to distract me but I just cried more when I saw it.  Continue reading “Flavor Flav’s Latest Vegas Mugshot Is Priceless”

Fiona Apple Arrested For Having Hash On Her Tour Bus, Falls Asleep During Mugshot

Indie pop darling Fiona Apple was arrested on Wednesday night for drug possession.

Officers with drug-sniffing dogs at a border stop in Sierra Blanca, Texas discovered two containers with a decent amount (.02 pounds) of hash and weed on her tour bus.

Apple was held at Hudspeth County Jail until Thursday afternoon, where she was released on $10,000 bail.

Well, now she can sing “Criminal” with even more conviction. One of many gangsters to be arrested after police found suspicious things on their tour buses… She’s just like Lil’ Wayne, Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson.  Continue reading “Fiona Apple Arrested For Having Hash On Her Tour Bus, Falls Asleep During Mugshot”

Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail

When you hear “Lindsay Lohan” and “Amanda Bynes” mentioned in the same sentence, you would likely assume that one came to the other’s aid, since they’re both terrible drivers who love getting stoned and feel “misunderstood” by the public and media.

Surprisingly, Lindsay is NOT defending Amanda, quite the opposite – she thinks Amanda should be in jail.

It’s only fair since she went for violating her probation in 2010 (but only went for 14 of the 90 days due to overcrowding), right?

“Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?” Lohan wrote on Twitter Sunday.  Continue reading “Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail”

Taking Advice From The Founder Of Crocs: When In Doubt, Blame Taylor Swift

The shoe company Crocs was unnecessarily founded by three people. One of them said “let’s take the backs off” another added “let’s put holes in them!” and the third said “let’s make them ugly.”

It’s true too.

It turns out one of the founders, like his shoes, is hilariously crazy.

Some people are just scary crazy, and worthy of your fear, but George Boedecker seems like a fun guy to hang out with. Last weekend he was discovered by the police passed out in front of his Porsche. So wasted in fact, that the medics plainly called him “drunk as crap.”  Continue reading “Taking Advice From The Founder Of Crocs: When In Doubt, Blame Taylor Swift”

Southern Woman Hated Her Mugshot, Called 911

A local Georgia woman called 911 to complain about her appearance in a mug shot that was published in a collection called Bad & Busted. Forty five year-old Sylvia Fowler got her wish to “retake” the photo after she was arrested a second time, for misusing the 911 emergency system.

She was originally booked for “terrorist threats and acts” looking like an old mother hen who was fed a steady diet of crystal meth instead of grains. The retake is, better, depending on your definition.

Continue reading “Southern Woman Hated Her Mugshot, Called 911”

Amanda Bynes Has An Easter-Themed Mugshot

This morning (3:00 a.m. exactly) was eventful for Amanda Bynes. In an unfortunate turn of events, the What I Like About You star sideswiped a police car, was pulled over and arrested for failing a sobriety test.

As you can see, her pink-haired mugshot arrives just in time for resurrection-of-Jesus-day.

Speaking of that, I was playing Draw Something last week with some random boy and when the word “easter” came up he draw three graves complete with morbid crosses and the words “He is risen” instead of a nice bunny.

Come on kid, Easter is like Halloween but without all the skeletons. It’s about chocolate and boiled eggs, not Jesus. And if the right letters had been there I would have guessed “dracula” for that drawing. WTH.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Has An Easter-Themed Mugshot”