Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing

jennifer lawrence thank god for me kitchen fire american hustle gif
The Oscar nominations list has been released and the important categories (best picture, actor, actress etc.) include a whole lot of the same non-crap we saw at the Globes, and I have a lot of questions.

Does Sandra Bullock spinning through fake space in a tank top and booty shorts constitute a nomination or is she just too beloved by the world Academy to ever not be honored?

Can Leonardo DiCaprio score his first win for the most picked-apart movie of the year, The Wolf of Wall Street? If Ralph Fiennes couldn’t win for Schindler’s List, then no, he can’t.

Like me, they still see Leo as the baby-faced Romeo who fucked Tilda Swinton on a beach.

I didn’t see Nebraska, Philomena (or “Phil-o-mania,” as DiCaprio called it last Sunday), 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club OR Captain Phillips, so I’m rooting for the one I did see and liked. [David O.] Russell’s [AmericanHustle, not because it had an original premise, but because Christian Bale, Jeremy Renner, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence are golden Gods and Goddesses all worthy of a statue or two.

Continue reading “Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing”

Lady Gaga’s “Yoü & I” Video Revealed

The “You & I” video was premiered today (on Madonna’s birthday!) as Mother Monster’s promised 1000th tweet. I’m not sure if my screen is broken or what but right now the video has 302 views??? WHAT?? It’s been out for several hours what is going on?

…Honestly it’s more like the “I & I” video has been revealed. Lady Gaga’s male alter-ego Jo Calderone makes an appearance in the video, smoking and looking hysterical. Also turquoise Gaga, long and short black-head Gaga, Blonde Gaga and horny flopping-mermaid Gaga, of indistinguishable color.

Continue reading “Lady Gaga’s “Yoü & I” Video Revealed”

Lady Gaga Really is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single)

Apparently I’m out of the loop. Lady Gaga has had a male alter-ego since September of last year, whom she calls “Jo Calderone.” Hmmm, Jo looks a lot like Al Pacino.

Lady Balls Balls tweeted the cover art for the “You & I” single cover art featuring the pop star in a very convincing drag getup. I saw it the other day briefly and wondered if it was Gaga’s new boyfriend or some artistic male inspiration of hers. Who knew.

It was revealed that the video for “You & I” will be released as Lady Gaga’s 1000th tweet, and she’s currently on 992, so it seems like that will probably be in a few weeks, who knows how long or short she wants to play that game for.

Continue reading “Lady Gaga Really is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single)”