Here’s Why Sofia Vergara’s Holiday-Themed Fights Are Better Than Halle Berry’s…

Sofia Vergara boob fell outSofia Vergara was involved in fight at a club on New Year’s Eve that was mildly reminiscent of the Gabriel Aubry/Olivier Martinez brawl, except not because Sofia Vergara wasn’t hiding in a corner applying hair gel like a pansy (Halle)…

Sofia’s hothead boyfriend Nick Loeb was reportedly tense because of the male attention Sofia was (/is always) receiving from “a friend.” Later, Loeb got into a physical altercation with some folks at a nearby VIP table.

It wouldn’t be a news-worthy Vergara moment if a body part didn’t burst out of her dress, and that’s exactly what happened when she tried to get involved.

Continue reading “Here’s Why Sofia Vergara’s Holiday-Themed Fights Are Better Than Halle Berry’s…”

Kathy Griffin Sniffed Anderson Cooper’s Nuts on Live Television

Anderson Cooper Kathy Griffin New Years 2012Kathy Griffin bent over and kissed Anderson Cooper‘s crotch in
an effort to top 2011’s New Year’s Eve special on CNN. She may be the FCC’s nightmare, but Time Warner/CNN must love Griffin’s antics, considering they keep hiring her.

The ketchup to Anderson’s salt said, “I’m going to tickle your sack” as he pushed her away like a little sister with an incestual crush.

He tried to change the subject and pretend like Kathy was talking about something PG, like a sack full of Christmas presents, but she just wasn’t having it.  Continue reading “Kathy Griffin Sniffed Anderson Cooper’s Nuts on Live Television”

2013 is About Kim Kardashian’s Baby and Nothing Else

Kim and Kanye new yearsI can tell from scrolling through every salacious website ever created that this is not in fact the year of the snake, but the year of the thing inside of Kim Kardashian. Let’s get our binoculars out and perv on some headlines…

Kanye As A Dad: What His Music Tells Us About His Parenting Style (Huffington PostHuffPo plops the lyrics to “New Day” off Watch The Throne in front of analytical readers. In the song with fellow rap papa Jay-Z, Kanye basically says that his son will be a half-Armenian replica of Steve Urkel (no ego, no strip clubs, no fun).

They don’t want to know the sex of the baby. Whatever. I’m sure TMZ will take do a secret, high-tech ultrasound (using some sort of wand) from outside Kim’s window and fax the results to her right before they post it on their website.

A source seems pretty sure the pancake batter that knocked up Kim was injected sometime in Rome, possibly inside the Sistine Chapel or on top of the pope’s robes.  Continue reading “2013 is About Kim Kardashian’s Baby and Nothing Else”

Deja Hugh – Hefner To Marry Crystal Harris

Crystal Harris Hugh Hefner creepyHugh Hefner is having an especially dick-raising, money draining week. Not only is he hurting his back watching the help put up Christmas decorations around the mansion, he’s engaged to Crystal Harris for the second time!

Refresher – their first wedding was meant to occur in June of 2011 but Harris retreated in fear when Hef tweeted her a sexy photo what she thought was his wrinkled taint (it was really just of him winking).

Okay, so that’s not exactly what happened. No one knows Harris’ exact reason for bailing the first time. Could be the taint wink, could be that the prenup and will weren’t impressive enough.  Continue reading “Deja Hugh – Hefner To Marry Crystal Harris”

Kanye West Is ‘Worst DJ Ever’ According To Fans

Kanye West made his American DJing debut using his ridiculous Ron Artest-inspired moniker “Yeezy World Peace” last night at a New Year’s Eve party hosted by Fergie.

A few people who attended the party (entrance fee: $300-$15,00 dollars) took to Twitter calling him “awful” and the “worst ever.” I wouldn’t completely take two people’s word for it if I hadn’t heard what exactly he spun.

Looks like the notorious narcissist played mostly his own songs and artists signed to his label, G.O.O.D. plus a few others, like Rihanna’s “We Found Love,” Skrillrex’s “The Devil’s Den” and one Michael Jackson song.

Otherwise it was “Gold Digger” “Good Life” and then “Niggas In Paris” a total of five times, just like he does on his Watch The Throne tour with Jay-Z. It’s a good song and all, but who wants to hear it more than once at a concert or party? Not to mention the fact that it’s a bitch to request if you’re white.

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Top Failed New Year’s Resolutions

Ever year nearly everyone makes a New Year’s resolution and every year they all fail miserably because the bar is set too high. My resolution of the past eight years was to be less judgmental. Chyeah like my personality is ever going to just magically change.

Certain things, on the other hand, are within your control but still hard extremely hard to achieve if you don’t have insane willpower.

1. Lose weight. It only makes sense that the most obese country in the world would have the most weight-loss resolutions, oh and we do. Going to the gym more often and eating less or in a more healthy manner depends on way too many things. Surroundings, attitude, genetics, love of Crunchwrap Supremes, whatever.

Continue reading “Top Failed New Year’s Resolutions”