Guess Which New York Venue Lady Gaga Put Rose Petals in her Butt in Honor of…

Lady Gaga RosesThe queen of theatricality and overthought pop music glued roses to her bosom, torso and backside to celebrate the beginning of her streak of seven shows at New York’s historic Roseland Ballroom, which is sadly closing for good in April.

In the past, Lady Gaga has covered herself in bubbles, dead muppets and meat, all looks I observed many a drag queen wearing on Portland mass transit a few years ago after her Monster Ball concert.

At least this rose-covered leotard isn’t too bad on a scale of normal person clothes to separate gravitational pull. Some poor child in a third world country has oxygen thanks to whoever Gaga’s stylist was that day.

 

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Remain Best Friends After Breakup

Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom 2013 Promising news for those of you wondering if you can ever actually stay friends with your ex: super mature and beautiful former couple Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom were seen strolling around the chilly streets of New York laughing arm-in-arm with their two-year-old son in tow just days after the world wept over their split.

The Aussie model whose boobs famously lagged out of her shirt earlier this year and British star of nothing recent confirmed the amicable separation on Thursday.

“Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family,” a joint statement released to E! by Bloom’s rep read.  Continue reading “Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Remain Best Friends After Breakup”

Lady Gaga’s Got a Secret, But What the %&#! Is It?

Lady Gaga naked v magazineLady Gaga has a secret and the state of New York is gonna keep it, save it, lock it in their pocket and take it to the grave….

Nosy bitches have learned that Gaga begged a judge to seal damning documents involving her former producer and songwriting partner, Rob Fusari and Wendy Starland, who are often credited for “discovering” the phenom.

You don’t create the thing you discover, but congrats to Rob and Wendy for using their eyes and ears, I guess. Anyway, I have no idea what the secret is, and that makes it fun.

What else could we possibly learn about the cocaine-doing, eating disorder and daddy issue-having singer of Madonna and Queen-influenced pop?

It’s obviously about the penis or tail she had removed. We’ve seen her entire vagina in Japanese Vogue, so what on earth would she not feel comfortable sharing? Sex tape? Michael Jackson, Tupac and Elvis are alive and playing dominos together in her condo? She has a team of lookalikes who perform in her stead, like Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley in The Phantom Menace? HELP ME.

Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come

Anthony Weiner memeIn today’s TMI news, we’ve learned more and more about Anthony Weiner than we ever wanted to. As if numerous dick pics weren’t enough, the woman involved with Weiner has claimed the politician is terrible at phone sex, and that she never had the chance to get off because Weiner would typically ejaculate after about 30 seconds.

Seriously dude, are you thirteen years old? Are you that horny? How have you not learned that phone sex is a beautiful thing that should be savored and last more than the length of a TV commercial?

The woman believed that she and Weiner were in love (LOL), but would often feel used after their phone sessions because she didn’t feel like she was getting any attention. I swear, politicians these days are such dicks.

Weiner has some long, hard days ahead – the hopeful mayor of New York City is in the midst of his second sex scandal, but he’s showing no signs of pulling out of the race.

Continue reading “Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come”

Tiger Woods Acts a Fool, Turns Into Cross-Eyed Mongoloid With a Wine Cooler Addiction

Tiger Woods drunk faceProfessional ball-slapper Tiger Woods showed the world his drunk face during a Met Gala after-party at the Standard Hotel in New York.

Girlfriend/pro slope hitter Lindsey Vonn looked both amused and embarrassed as she led his wobbly baby deer legs and bouncing pinball eyes through the crowds of press and fellow celebs.

The succession of photos tell a story. First, he realizes he’s lost control of the muscles in his face and body and his last drunken resort is to not change his expression. Eyes and mouth open. Show some teeth. Maybe they won’t notice…

Then he gives up. Everyone knows he’s wasted. The bloodshot eyes and wax figure pose did more than hint at that. They’re onto me. JESUS Lindsey, get me home before Elin sees. 

Continue reading “Tiger Woods Acts a Fool, Turns Into Cross-Eyed Mongoloid With a Wine Cooler Addiction”

Brooklyn Park Dedicated To Late Beastie Boy Adam Yauch

Adam Yauch Park BrooklynPalmetto Playground in New York was filled with fans, friends and family of late Beastie Boy Adam Yauch today when it was re-named in his honor a year after his death on May 4, 2012.

Fellow B-Boy Adam Horovitz remembered Yauch for his warm personality and individuality as a musician at the Brooklyn playground on Columbia Place & State Street, now called “Adam Yauch Park,” where his friend and bandmate learned to ride his bike as a kid.

“It’s fitting that we’re here today to dedicate a playground to Adam Yauch, because like the Wu-Tang Clan, Beastie Boys are for the children,” Horovitz joked. “I’d like to thank the New York Parks Department and the people of Brooklyn for honoring my friend and brother and recognizing how cool it is to have an Adam Yauch Park for other crazy New York kids.”

Continue reading “Brooklyn Park Dedicated To Late Beastie Boy Adam Yauch”

Don’t You Dare Forget About Winona Ryder!

Winona Ryder New York 2013 Raven-haired recluse Winona Ryder left her house on Tuesday for the premiere of Disconnect in New York and again on Wednesday for a sunny stroll with a friend.

No one important cares that she stole from Saks Fifth Avenue or did oxycodone, but I get that she only stars in one or two movies a year because at a certain point in her career the spotlight became the Ring and she became Frodo.

I just wish she’d work a tiny bit more. Does the woman not still radiate coolness and youth? In a line-up you’d guess I was 41 and she was 27. Can you think of a single actress with a more impressive resume, in terms of versatility?

The Crucible, Beetlejuice, Little Women, Alien Resurrection, Girl, Interrupted, Dracula, Heathers, Friends, Black Swan, Edward Scissorhands, Reality Bites, Mermaids..? Didn’t think so.

Tilda Swinton is Living, Breathing Art

Tilda Swinton MoMAA good four years before her big break in 1999’s The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda “The Freak” Swinton was acting in small roles and participating in performance art.

The Serpentine Gallery in London was the first to see Swinton’s “The Maybe,” where she lays silently in a glass box with nothing but some cushions and a jug of water.

Continue reading “Tilda Swinton is Living, Breathing Art”

Lindsay Lohan Arrested For Nightclub Assault

Lindsay Lohan was put in cuffs after punching a 28-year-old woman who invaded her space at Club Avenue nightclub in New York this morning after attending a Justin Bieber concert.

Lindsay tried to drive away from the scene, but cops pursued her and booked her for assault. She reportedly yelled “Are you kidding me?” over and over again at the police at the time of her arrest.

Hours later, she was separately charged officially for lying to police about her Santa Monica Porsche crash in June.

Pretty sure being arrested in New York as many times as she was arrested in Los Angeles is her new goal. Almost there.

Jay-Z Look-Alike Wanted For New York Serial Murder

Police have a few leads on a serial killer that has been terrorizing Middle Eastern shopkeepers in Brooklyn. One of them is someone who looks an awful lot like partial Nets owner, Jay-Z.
This police sketch of a man with a buzz cut and sunglasses may or may not be the “Crazy 8 Killer” wanted for three murders in 2012, July 6, August 3 and November 16.  Continue reading “Jay-Z Look-Alike Wanted For New York Serial Murder”

Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe

Every once and awhile, a news story comes along that is so disturbing and so outrageous that you begin to lose touch with reality and feel like you’re reading a horror script by Eli Roth.

Yesterday an officer in Queens, New York was arrested for conspiring to cook and eat 100 female victims. Instant messages from 28-year-old Gilberto Valle III, a six-year employee of the NYPD, to an accomplice have been acquired by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

In the messages, Valle wrote to two unnamed co-conspirators about ovens, chloroform, cages, and not wasting the meat. The price of a fresh human snack: $5,000.  Continue reading “Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe”

Best Cosplay From New York Comic-Con 2012

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The best cosplay winner at Comic-Con San Diego in july had to be the female Marios and male Princess Peaches and now, at New York Comic-Con 2012, it’s male Wonder Woman aka “Wonder WoBear.”

Check that out and many more bizarre and intricate costumes of NYCC. Let me know which is your favorite in the comments section. (I’m guessing that Mr. T and the Khaleesi may get a lot of votes.)

Continue reading “Best Cosplay From New York Comic-Con 2012”

Rihanna And Chris Brown – Together At Last?

Nearly every week there seems to be a new story about Rihanna and Chris Brown, whether they were seen together (which has happened twice this week, once at Griffin club and then again at Brooklyn Stadium), kissing at the VMAs or lending their voices to each other’s remixes, it all is too familiar and too hard to keep up with.

An excessive amount of Rihanna and Chris news (more excessive than usual, that is), can only mean one thing: they might actually be back together. She’s progressed past “forgiving” him and moved onto getting back with him.

The former 2009 couple, and possible current lovers, were both seen leaving Hotel Gansevoort in New York on Tuesday following a slew of other sightings like the one at Barclays Center in the VIP section where Rap Radar’s Elliott Wilson snapped a photo of them looking very cozy.

Continue reading “Rihanna And Chris Brown – Together At Last?”

Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican

Lindsay Lohan told law enforcement officials that she was attacked by a 25-year-old man she met at the Chelsea night club 1 Oak and brought back to her hotel room in Manhattan with a group of friends.

According to police sources the argument started at around 4:30 a.m. on Sunday, September 30 over candid pictures and videos he’d taken of her.

After taking his cell phone away he reportedly threw her on the bed and scratched her.

She ran out of the room and into the stairwell then back into the room where he choked her and threw her to the ground a second time.

Friends eventually pulled him off and he was arrested while still in the hotel.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican”

Lindsay Lohan Arrested For Hit And Run, Surveillance Video Proves Her Accuser Exaggerated

It appears that Lindsay Lohan for once, did nothing wrong, or almost nothing.

Following an arrest Wednesday morning for allegedly hitting a pedestrian in New York, TMZ acquired footage of the incident, which shows that Lohan either grazed the back of the accuser’s leg, or didn’t hit him at all.

“While some of the facts are still being gathered, it appears that this is much ado about nothing. We are confident this matter will be cleared up in the coming weeks and the claims being made against Lindsay will be proven untrue,” her rep said in an email to the Associated Press.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Arrested For Hit And Run, Surveillance Video Proves Her Accuser Exaggerated”

Niagara Falls And Kansas Want Your Youth And Professionalism, Will Pay Student Loans

Niagara Falls, New York and 50 counties way Southeast, in Kansas, are willing to pay you to move there, much like Alaska.

There’s small print though, they will specifically pay your student loans and/or income tax.

In participating areas Kansas offers qualifying residents (you need to have a college degree) an income tax waiver for five years max and/or pay up to $15,0000 of their student loans.

CNBC writes that it’s an attempt to boost the commerce of the city:  Continue reading “Niagara Falls And Kansas Want Your Youth And Professionalism, Will Pay Student Loans”

Milla Jovovich’s Windy Bum-Flash Moment

Milla Jovovich, famous for nude scenes in movies, can add [almost] public nakedness to her resume.

The actress/model/singer/zombie-murderess was in New York filming an Avon perfume commercial when she suffered a momentary Marilyn Monroe moment circa The Seven Year Itch .

This is more modern, a little more exposure and some kind of string underwear that is barely visible instead of Marilyn’s high-waisted garment that Katy Perry would call “a long pair of shorts.”

Milla’s also got a new album coming out (she released her first, The Divine Comedy in 1994) and we can expect it in early fall plus a video in July for the single “Electric Sky” which will be available on iTunes May 19.  Continue reading “Milla Jovovich’s Windy Bum-Flash Moment”