Adrian Peterson Beat His Son With a Stick

ADrian peterson number 28More trouble for the NFL: Adrian Peterson went WAY too far disciplining his four-year-old son and is being taken to court in Houston for child abuse that occurred earlier this year.

According to documents, the well-known Vikings running back hit the child with a tree branch, causing bleeding and bruising to his back, legs, scrotum, hands and buttocks because he “pushed another one of Peterson’s children off of a motorbike video game.”

As a firm believer is not beating the shit out of children, I find this story especially disturbing. For one, my Mom never instilled harsher punishment than a time-out, a stern talking to, chores or revoking of privileges.

I’ve never felt right telling other people not to spank their kids, but this kind of punishment is absolutely unacceptable and one of the many reasons I would never feel right even attempting physical discipline.

Here’s why… Adrian Peterson’s lawyer has released a statement saying:

It is important to remember that Adrian never intended to harm his son and deeply regrets the unintentional injury.

So apparently, once his son was screaming and/or crying and putting his hands up to defend himself, Peterson realized that he might have gone a little overboard?  Continue reading “Adrian Peterson Beat His Son With a Stick”

Ray Rice’s Wife Calls His Suspension ‘Horrific’

janay rice knocked out gif unconscious elevator gif ray riceJanay Rice, the woman seen being knocked out in an elevator by her husband – Ravens running back Ray Rice – is defending his actions and slamming the media and the NFL.

Ray Rice was originally suspended by the NFL for a laughable 2 games after footage of an unconscious Janay being dragged across the floor surfaced on TMZ, but now that the full video of him straight-up Mike Tyson-ing her has appeared, they’ve changed their tune.

If there’s one the thing football organizations hate, it’s publicity. Not even necessarily bad publicity, but any attention (Tim Tebow, Michael Sam, Chad Johnson) that might distract from their players throwing balls, running with balls and slamming into each other with or without balls in their hands, and this is a classic and especially sad case of that…

Janay Rice wrote the following confusing comments about TMZ’s brutal new video and the fact that Ray is now out of Baltimore and suspended from playing on any team indefinitely:

I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that media & unwanted options from the
public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!

Normalizing this kind of behavior is a huge problem, and Janay, the NFL, Ray and his ignoramus lawyer (who called it a “very minor physical altercation” back in February), are adding gallons of gasoline to the forest fire.

Ray Rice said in a statement that his wife is “so strong,” and that he in turn he has to be strong for her. Because you have to be pretty fucking “strong” to sleep off a punch like that.

Meanwhile, Browns’ WR Josh Gordon has been suspended for an entire year after testing positive for marijuana, with the NFL sending a clear message that domestic violence isn’t big of a deal as smoking a little weed, but both are trumped by ...say it with me this time… bad publicity.

Read: Ravens Player: Ray Rice Lied To Teammates, Has Lost Our Support

Michael Sam to Become First Openly Gay Pro Football Player

Mizzou Football Media DayIf defensive end Michael Sam gets drafted by an NFL team in May, he will become the first currently playing professional football player to identify as gay.

Sam, who was named SEC Defensive Player of the Year for his work with the Missouri Tigers by the Associated Press, recently came out publicly in interviews with both the New York Times and ESPN.

In the sit-down with ESPN, he speaks of the hardships he endured as a child and young man. “Telling the world I’m gay is nothing compared to that,” he admitted. “That,” being multiple family traumas including witnessing the death of his older brother from a gunshot wound and having another brother go missing in 1998 while the other two sit in jail.

The NFL has released a message of support, saying they admire his “honesty and courage.”

“Michael is a football player,” the statement read. “Any player with ability and determination can succeed in the NFL. We look forward to welcoming and supporting Michael Sam in 2014.”  Continue reading “Michael Sam to Become First Openly Gay Pro Football Player”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-8-13]

These photos of NFL teams playing in the snow are absolutely INSANE. (Yahoo!)

Ellen and Portia jump on Kim and Kanye’s “Bound” train. (E! Online)

The goalie from The Mighty Ducks likes to pee on people. (TMZ)

Selena Gomez acts her age, rage quits Jingle Ball concert. (Daily Mail)

People who make fun of Carrie Underwood are mean satanists. (Evil Beet)

Susan Boyle diagnosed with Asperger’s / and finally, it all makes sense. (Jezebel)

One-armed 127 Hours dude arrested for domestic violence in Colorado. (Gawker)

Michael Vick Still Believes he’s the Sole Proprietor of the Eagles

Michael Vick eagles 2013The Chris Brown of football (I would say Kanye West if Kanye had overseen the eletrocution of Kylie and Kendall Jenner) got on Twitter and pressed enter without thinking, which is no surprise considering his ball-throwing accuracy and failure to form words without deserving an armbar from Ronda Rousey’s mom.  (Or any mom.)

Vick’s tweet in question read “we will redeem ourself,” in regards to the Eagles last two losses to the Chargers and Chiefs and their upcoming game against Denver which I at first thought was a mistake, but I now realize is just his way of saying that he IS the Eagles.  Continue reading “Michael Vick Still Believes he’s the Sole Proprietor of the Eagles”

Tim Tebow Cut From Patriots For Sucking at Life

tebow patriotsFormer Gators and Jets maverick Tim Tebow has been cut from his current team, The New England Patriots because he completely failed to impress Bill Belichick with his chesticles and gay bar-friendly face.

The no-trick pony that somehow led the Broncos to the playoffs early last year was not chosen to even be a backup quarterback to the equally good looking and far more gifted Tom Brady.

“I would like to thank Mr. Kraft, Coach Belichick, Coach McDaniels and the entire Patriots organization for giving me the opportunity to be a part of such a classy organization,” Tebow wrote on Twitter. “I pray for nothing but the best for you all. I will remain in relentless pursuit of continuing my lifelong dream of being an NFL quarterback.”

Some other team will likely pick him up and drop him faster than a baby with a unibrow. I hear the Bengals need a few new cheerleaders…

5 Things To Know About Super Bowl XLVII

ravens football headline 2012 super bowlSF Chronicle 49ers win 2013
Here’s the truth, I don’t know anything about the Super Bowl that a devout football fan doesn’t.

I can say that I predicted that the Ravens would beat the favorited Patriots in the AFC Championship, but really this is Super Bowl XLVII for dummies, girls and nerds. 101.

1. Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh

Harbaugh brothers Jim and John aren’t the first blood-relatives in coaching history. (Let’s not forget grease trains Rex and Rob Ryan and basketball’s Stan and Jeff Van Gundy.) Interestingly, they are the first brothers to coach against each other in the Super Bowl.  Continue reading “5 Things To Know About Super Bowl XLVII”

Chiefs Will Not Cancel Game Against Carolina in Wake of LB Jovan Belcher Murder-Suicide

Jovan Belcher girlfriend 1Tragic news out of Kansas. Linebacker Jovan Belcher, 25, killed his 22-year-old girlfriend of three years in front of her mother, drove to Arrowhead stadium, thanked the general manager and coach, then shot himself in the head.

It was explained in an official statement that coach Crennel, the league office and team captains collectively decided to not cancel their afternoon game against the Carolina Panthers today.

Belcher’s motive for murdering girlfriend-of-three-years Kasandra Perkins just three months after she gave birth to his child is unknown. A friend of the couple tells the Kansas City Star that they had argued over Perkins staying out late for a concert and that she wasn’t aware of prior abuse.  Continue reading “Chiefs Will Not Cancel Game Against Carolina in Wake of LB Jovan Belcher Murder-Suicide”

More Hope Solo Drama, Soccer Star Gets Into Mysterious Scuffle With NFL Boyfriend

Don’t get me wrong when I say that a third domestic violence-related story involving Debra Morgan-lookalike Hope Solo has me thinking that she’s a bit of a drama-magnet and possible exaggerator…

Solo is a highly skilled athlete, famous for her MVP performance in the London Olympics for the winning U.S. women’s soccer team, writing a book and appearing on Dancing With The Stars in 2011.

In her memoir, Solo: A Memoir of Hope, she claims to not only have been violently shoved by a former coach, but hit in the stomach and slapped by her DWTS partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Continue reading “More Hope Solo Drama, Soccer Star Gets Into Mysterious Scuffle With NFL Boyfriend”

NFL Star Adrian Peterson Arrested For Resisting The Police While Intoxicated

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was arrested early Friday morning after making a scene at a club in Houston.

The manager of the club, Live At Bayou Place, says he was being rowdy and “unreasonable.”

An off-duty cop/security guard intervened after he noticed Peterson’s behavior. The MVP pro-bowler reportedly shoved him.

He later apologized and said that he ‘doesn’t usually drink,’ a story confirmed by the manager who told TMZ that Peterson has been to the club before and consumed very few spirits.  Continue reading “NFL Star Adrian Peterson Arrested For Resisting The Police While Intoxicated”

The NFL Draft Begins On Thursday, Here’s Number One And Two

The 2012 National Football League draft starts Thursday, April 26 and ends Saturday, April 28.

In case you didn’t know, there’s a 99.9% chance that Stanford’s Andrew Luck is going to the Colts as the number one pick, to fill the void left by current Bronco Peyton Manning.

The number two pick, QB Robert Griffin III of the Baylor Bears, will go to the Washington Redskins. NFL Network analysts seem to agree that offensive tackle Matt Kalil will head to Minnesota. As for the rest of the draft, here’s a mock-up prediction of picks.  Continue reading “The NFL Draft Begins On Thursday, Here’s Number One And Two”

Madonna Is Possible Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Act

Sports website SB Nation is claiming that Madonna will perform at the super bowl on February 5, 2012. This is good because, if there does happen to be some sort of apocalypse, Madonna surely would survive, being an ageless supernatural succubus who can easily survive on seeds and ashes.

The 53 year-old queen of pop would follow previous acts (since the Janet Jackson mishap in 2004) such as The Black Eyed Peas, The Who, Springsteen, Tom Petty, Prince, The Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney.

The super bowl this year will take place at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Portland Pterodactyl Vs. South Carolina Sabertooths. Oh wait, that doesn’t exist. Is there a better candidate than Madonna? Yes! Her name is Lady Gaga (or Rihanna)…

Continue reading “Madonna Is Possible Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Act”

Football Jerseys – The New ‘Fashion’ Extreme?

NY Times and others are reporting on the the shameless way that college football teams vie for media attention by wearing bizarre jerseys, each team trying to outdo the next. The controversy was sparked by Maryland’s “two-face” Jerseys. (Above)

There’s actually en entire job dedicated to analyzing jerseys, for ESPN? Paul Lukas a “uniform reporter” says that the new designs are much more about “making costumes for superheroes” than for athletes, calling them “foolish” and “desperate…”

Continue reading “Football Jerseys – The New ‘Fashion’ Extreme?”

Tiki Barber Is Engaged

Former NFL star and RB for the New York Giants, Tiki Barber got engaged over the weekend to Traci Lynn Johnson, the woman he may or may not have cheated on his pregnant wife with in 2009.

Barber retired in 20o7 but is looking to make a comeback in the 2011 season though he has not been chosen by a team yet.

Traci Lynn Johnson was an intern with NBC while Tiki was working as a football analyst. He tells the media that his marriage to Ginny Cha, who he’d been married to since 1999, fell apart long before he dated Traci Lynn.

Continue reading “Tiki Barber Is Engaged”