Nicole Kidman Fell Over

20130912-162029.jpgA story about Nicole Kidman falling is no more news than a story about me sitting on the couch snorting crushed Wonka Candy and Moscato is because she’s as light as a feather and as white as Grandpa’s Ford Escort and was probably even blown sideways by Tom Cruise’s size 6 [in women’s] footsteps, but TMZ is running it anyway.

The site reports that Kidman was knocked off her feet by a paparazzi on a bicycle during New York fashion week. Cops were completely unsympathetic, saying “An accident’s an accident.”

Also, when they asked the offending photographer for his papers, he pointed at her. Because she’s WHITE, WHITE, WHITE LIKE THE LIGHT. (Electric Six song, Google it.)

Matt Damon Gets Revenge on Jimmy Kimmel

Matt Damon Jimmy kimmelAfter years of Jimmy Kimmel teasing his audience with the age-old “My apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time” line, plus several cameos including one very memorable song, Matt finally, truly appeared on the show. Kimmel sat bound and gagged in the background as Damon acted as the host, Andy Garcia replaced security guard Guillermo and Sheryl Crow lead the band.

Damon pointed at Kimmel and then at himself saying,”Normally this program is hosted by that, tonight it’s being hosted by this,” and brought Jimmy’s real-life ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman on the program, who roasted him by saying this about their relationship and why she dated him:  Continue reading “Matt Damon Gets Revenge on Jimmy Kimmel”

V Magazine’s Nicole Kidman Looks Nothing Like Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman appears on V Magazine’s September travel issue promoting her new movie. A blonde, extra cougar-y Kidman tells V, “I don’t really make decisions, I go with the flow.”

Interesting quote, from the woman who pees on Zac Efron after he gets stung by a jellyfish in The Paperboy. She explains:

“For me, it said so much about Charlotte. One, she’s protecting him. Two, she’s tough as nails and no one else is going to pee on this guy. All of that made total sense to me.”

She also defends director Lars Von Trier’s famous nazi comments at Cannes. “I like Lars. I think he has made some terrible, terrible statements and mistakes, but I don’t think he really meant what he said. If he did, then I would not be friends with him. You know, he does strange stuff.”  Continue reading “V Magazine’s Nicole Kidman Looks Nothing Like Nicole Kidman”

Is That You, Nicole Kidman??

Nicole Kidman went CRAZY Baywatch blonde for her upcoming role in The Paperboy, costarring Zac Efron, John Cusack and Matthew Mcconaughey. I wonder how long Nicole will keep that huge mop of yellow hair? Yikes. Maybe it’s a wig? I’m no expert. Somebody investigate this for me? Very Stepford Wife-y.

Oh here’s a synopsis of The Paperboy, from Publisher’s Weekly, in case you were wondering.

“Narrator Jack James is the son of the Moat County Tribune’s editor and publisher. While Jack’s older brother, Ward, reports for the Miami Times, Jack has settled for a job delivering papers for the Tribune. But when Ward and his partner, evil dandy Yardley Acheman, come to Moat County to investigate the four-year-old murder of the local sheriff, Jack assists them in the inquiry.”

Wait, what? I fell asleep reading that summary.