The NOAA Wants You To Know That Mermaids Aren’t Real

After the Discovery Channel aired a special called Mermaids: The Body Found” the U.S. government felt obligated to issue an official online statement declaring that Ariel and her trident-wielding people are not real.

This coming shortly after a CDC spokesperson told The Huffington Post that zombies don’t exist either.

“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead,” said David Daigle after the bath salt/face-eating incident in Miami.

The National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) feeling a need to let us know that seductresses of the seas are non-fiction seems even less necessary.  Continue reading “The NOAA Wants You To Know That Mermaids Aren’t Real”

The Sun Is Gonna Mess Up Your Phone! (Maybe)

Scientists are reporting that an upcoming surge of solar flares (a sudden, brightening/release of excess energy from the sun) is likely to severely impact satellites, and telecommunications. Basically, your phone, and your Tom Tom! If it is going to happen, it will reportedly happen over the next few days.

Joseph Kunches, a scientist at the Space Weather Prediction Center, a division of the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) has been quoted in saying,

“The magnetic storm that is soon to develop probably will be in the moderate to strong level.”

Continue reading “The Sun Is Gonna Mess Up Your Phone! (Maybe)”