Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-2-13]

Mariah Carey tube top winterWinter doesn’t care if you’re Mariah Carey/Mariah doesn’t care that it’s winter in NY. (Yahoo!)

Chris Brown cited for speeding, disappointingly “let go without incident.” (E! Online)

Someone photoshopped Taylor Swift’s head onto Miley Cyrus’ body. (ohmyGAHH!)

Amanda Bynes says she wasn’t evicted even though she probably was. (Evil Beet)

If Sylvester Stallone doesn’t need an assault rifle, you don’t either. (Huffington Post)

Jenny McCarthy sits in the bath talking about all the shows she wishes she was on. (Radar)

Fresh-out-of-the-ring Frank Ocean has a new bestest friend in sleazy John Mayer. (ONTD!)

Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe

Every once and awhile, a news story comes along that is so disturbing and so outrageous that you begin to lose touch with reality and feel like you’re reading a horror script by Eli Roth.

Yesterday an officer in Queens, New York was arrested for conspiring to cook and eat 100 female victims. Instant messages from 28-year-old Gilberto Valle III, a six-year employee of the NYPD, to an accomplice have been acquired by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

In the messages, Valle wrote to two unnamed co-conspirators about ovens, chloroform, cages, and not wasting the meat. The price of a fresh human snack: $5,000.  Continue reading “Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe”

Best Cosplay From New York Comic-Con 2012

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The best cosplay winner at Comic-Con San Diego in july had to be the female Marios and male Princess Peaches and now, at New York Comic-Con 2012, it’s male Wonder Woman aka “Wonder WoBear.”

Check that out and many more bizarre and intricate costumes of NYCC. Let me know which is your favorite in the comments section. (I’m guessing that Mr. T and the Khaleesi may get a lot of votes.)

Continue reading “Best Cosplay From New York Comic-Con 2012”

Oh Drake, You Could’ve At Least Pretended To Beat Up Chris Brown To Make Me Happy

This morning was like Christmas, but if I forgot what day Christmas was (not unlikely) and was even more surprised to see my gift. That present came in the form of hearing that Drake‘s entourage beat up Chris Brown’s entourage over Rihanna in a NY club.

Then I read on TMZ that Drake’s rep is insisting that he wasn’t involved in the brawl, and that it was actually a fight between Chris and Drake’s friend, Philly rapper Meek Mill.

So much disappointment, but fortunately, Brown aka “Breezy” did get a nasty cut on his chin from all the bottles that were thrown. He tweeted a photo of it (which was later deleted) and wrote:  Continue reading “Oh Drake, You Could’ve At Least Pretended To Beat Up Chris Brown To Make Me Happy”

Courtney Love Evicted From NY Townhouse

Courtney Love, one of the most prevalent and raucous women in rock ‘n’ roll, is being evicted from her townhouse in New York for, well, for a million valid reasons.

1. She set the drapes on fire. (Via unattended candle)

2. She reportedly owes $54,000 in rent. (It’s four-story building that costs $27,000 a month)

3. She redecorated it without the building owner’s okay. (Donna Lyon told the NY Post, “Courtney has wallpapered and painted a large portion of the property without my consent”)

Lyon also mentioned that she didn’t even recognize the property after Love had taken it over. “I came to New York to see it and I was horrified by what she had done. The walls that had been hand-painted and glazed were ruined.”

Continue reading “Courtney Love Evicted From NY Townhouse”

Lady Gaga Marries The Night (Music Video Photos)

Lady Gaga has been spotted all over New York filming the new video for “Marry The Night,” the fifth single off her multi-platinum album Born This Way.

Locations reportedly include Harlem and Staten Island. A video of Lady Balls Balls lazily writhing around on top of a car for this potentially underwhelming video can be seen HERE.

Did Britney and Gaga totally drop the ball here? In what world are “Marry The Night” or “Criminal” considered singles? Should be “Bloody Mary” and “(Drop Dead) Beautiful.” DAMN IT. “Bloody Mary” would have been perfect for Halloween too…

Continue reading “Lady Gaga Marries The Night (Music Video Photos)”

Former NY Governor’s Stepdaughter Commits Bottle Assault

At 4:45 am on Saturday October 1st, Ashley Dennis – stepdaughter of ex-New York governor David Paterson – was arrested for hitting her boyfriend Brian McGuinness over the head with a bottle.

His stepdaughter, an account executive at Edelman Public Affairs, had a huge fight with her boyfriend at his West Village apartment. After neighbors, who described the fight as ‘loud and bloody’ called the police…

Continue reading “Former NY Governor’s Stepdaughter Commits Bottle Assault”

Alleged Dominatrix Suspended From NY Attorney Job

Alisha Smith, 36, an assistant attorney general in New York was suspended from her job for possibly having an after hours secret.

The NY Post cited claims that Smith is a well-known BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Submission And Masochism) performer who goes by the name “Alisha Spark.”

Alisha Clare “Spark” Smith may have made a crucial error when she gave certain sex product advice on Twitter, to her friend and well-known dominatrix, “Jade Vixen” aka Edythe Maa.

As a lawyer for the Manhattan Investor Protection Bureau, Smith has worked on lawsuits against companies like Bank of America, winning an estimated $5 billion in total against various banks…

Continue reading “Alleged Dominatrix Suspended From NY Attorney Job”

Lindsay Lohan Kisses Her Mom, In A Not-Okay Manner

In pictures obtained by RumorFix, Lindsay Lohan is giving her mom the sort of kiss you’d think she’d give Samantha Ronson.

It was Dina Lohan’s 49th birthday (task tsk) and she had a celebration last Thursday at Beauty & Essex in NYC.

The youngest Lohan, Cody, even wore a shirt with a very clear message, one that read “the whole family.” And yes, the whole family was there. (Except the dad)

Ali Lohan, Cody Lohan and of course, Lindsay and Dina -making out…
Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Kisses Her Mom, In A Not-Okay Manner”

Rose McGowan Looks Like An Alien During NY Fashion Week

I really like Rose McGowan, I think she’s funny and has a pretty decent career, appearing in one of my favorite movies, Jawbreaker, and favorite shows Nip/Tuck.

HOWEVER I don’t approve of her blatant plastic surgery addiction. In this photo of her at NY Fashion Week, her lips look like two pink burn-victim survivor slugs.

Her eyes and forehead seem forlorn, aggravated from all the needle injection points. Weird how most people who continuously get botox or cosmetic surgery are the ones who need it the least. 

Natalia Kills “Mirrors” Unplugged

Perfectionist, the truly perfect Natalia Kills debut is now out in the U.S., so no more weird import copy on Amazon!

The pop mastermind (she deserves to be the next Lady Gaga) recently celebrated her birthday (along with Madonna, Frances Bean and Belinda Carlisle) and is currently touring with Katy Perry.

Natalia Keery-Fisher, 25, did some lovely acoustic versions of a few of her songs (like “Wonderland”) at her CD release party on the top of New York’s Atlas Hotel.

Girl can sing.