Oprah Winfrey Reveals Lifelong Fear of Balloons

Oprah BalloonsFor the spooky Halloween issue of O, Oprah admits she has always been afraid of the sound of balloons popping, just as I am afraid of hoards of greedy clapping middle-aged women with bingo wings. And clowns. Oh wait, same thing.

“I don’t like balloons, and for my 40th birthday my entire staff decided to surprise me,” 59-year-old Winfrey recalls. “I come downstairs and the entire audience is filled with balloons. Literally, I’m stepping over balloons, having to walk through balloons and I’m so, like, ‘Oh! When is one going to pop?'”

What’s worse, this or Tyra’s fear of dolphins? Probably Tyra’s thing because sometimes you can’t get out of a child’s birthday party without a really good excuse, but going to Sea World is never mandatory unless a dying child asks you to go for Make-A-Wish. Or if you’re a really smart parent, you get your kid to ask Tyra AND Oprah to go to Sea World on their birthday and you tie balloons to the dolphins, get a bowl of popcorn and watch those bitches howl.

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Someone Called Oprah a ‘Field Ni**er,’ But Don’t Worry, They’ll Be Dead in a Few Days

Oprah rae dawn chong the color purpleTommy Chong’s daughter, Rae Dawn Chong, is one of those rare rude and ungrateful Canadians. I say this because Rae Dawn called her The Color Purple co-star Oprah an insecure “field ni**er” in an interview.

“I starred in Commando. And she just wasn’t having me. She’s competitive. She didn’t like me. She just wasn’t having me,” Chong said on Matty P’s Radio Happy Hour.

Basically Dawn Chong and Oprah used to sort of be friends and then RDC got super jealous of Oprah and decided to do what all emotional babies do and flip it around to sound like Oprah, the woman who lives on an island of wealth and throws cars and $2000 gift baskets at her audiences, was and is jealous of her.

I’m all for sh*t talking Oprah (“Biotch, you got a Twinkie problem”) a little but throwing the n-word into it isn’t exactly going to make me or anyone else want to jump in on your side.  Continue reading “Someone Called Oprah a ‘Field Ni**er,’ But Don’t Worry, They’ll Be Dead in a Few Days”

Oprah To Peddle Organic Veggies and Beauty Products

Oprah Winfrey has tackled television, movies and magazines and is now planting her pitchfork firmly in the organic food industry.

Documents dug up by the New York Post show that she is deciding on the names “Oprah’s Organics,” “Oprah’s Harvest” and “Oprah’s Farm” for her new business

Edibles will be grown in Hawaii and will spawn beverages, salad dressing, frozen vegetables, soup, and snack dips.

And, she’s not only going to be stepping on Paul Newman’s toes, but Burt’s Bees as well.

Beauty products like soaps, shower gels, lotion, shampoo, oils and skin care cream are also on the menu and I’d be very surprised if Oprah’s beaming face wasn’t on every bottle.

Surprisingly, she’s not even listed as one of the top 20 richest women in America.  Continue reading “Oprah To Peddle Organic Veggies and Beauty Products”

Terry Richardson Makes Oprah Look Crisp for Harper’s Bazaar

Titty-loving photographer Terry Richardson gives Oprah the signature high-contrast treatment for Harper’s Bazaar. Unlike his angles of Kate Upton, Richardson makes Oprah look like a strong, powerful cup of joe with bright tailored suits and plenty of eye contact.

Oprah even gave the signature Terry “thumbs up” which … sends the wrong message. For those of you who don’t know, Terry Richardson is not only a great photographer but a total molester creep. The thumbs up says the most influential woman in the world endorses Terry Richardson, the world’s most notorious hipster pervert. But in O’s defence she probably has no idea since C grade tabloid fodder isn’t allowed 40 feet from her retina.

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Oprah’s OWN Network Cancels ‘The Rosie Show’

For a woman who prides herself on charity and providing advice for the entire feminine race, Oprah sure is selfish. Her longtime talk show on CBS ended (25 seasons to be exact) and she launched her own TV channel, OWN…the Oprah Winfrey Network.

It was a move reminiscent of legendary butt-of-the-joke O Magazine which saw Ms. Winfrey on the cover every single month at various weights, sometimes holding a fruit basket or standing amidst some leaves and an orange background. And who does she invite into the fun of her “next chapter?” Rosie O’Donnell!   Continue reading “Oprah’s OWN Network Cancels ‘The Rosie Show’”