Guess Which New York Venue Lady Gaga Put Rose Petals in her Butt in Honor of…

Lady Gaga RosesThe queen of theatricality and overthought pop music glued roses to her bosom, torso and backside to celebrate the beginning of her streak of seven shows at New York’s historic Roseland Ballroom, which is sadly closing for good in April.

In the past, Lady Gaga has covered herself in bubbles, dead muppets and meat, all looks I observed many a drag queen wearing on Portland mass transit a few years ago after her Monster Ball concert.

At least this rose-covered leotard isn’t too bad on a scale of normal person clothes to separate gravitational pull. Some poor child in a third world country has oxygen thanks to whoever Gaga’s stylist was that day.

 

Bjork Gives Best Bonnaroo Performance as Steamed Clam

Bjork Bonnaroo 2013 pinhead Long before Lady Gaga shattered her first mirror and glued it to her bra, the rare Icelandic yeti known as Bjork was roaming red carpets in dead swans and making arty naked music videos for songs with titles envied by Alien era Ridley Scott and Hitchhiker’s Guide era Douglas Adams.

Speaking of nudity, Bonnaroo concludes later tonight, and Crave Online listed Bjork as Saturday’s “Best Performance” at the festival. I’m sure it was lovely and weird and transformative, but it’s hard to notice anything but her outfit, clearly the result of Pinhead mounting an oyster.

I did not have sexual relations with that seafood.

Lindsay Forced To Do Morgue Work, Turns Into Court Corpse

After being kicked out of doing community service at a women’s shelter for being late and putting in little to no effort, Lindsay Lohan has been reassigned to work at the L.A. County Morgue. (Because corpses don’t talk back?)

You will all be delighted to know that Miss Lohan will be cleaning tables where autopsies have occurred, which is obviously much worse than ANY job we can imagine because she will be exposed to all sorts of sad non-alcoholic fluids, like congealed blood and (I hope) oozing fecal matter…

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Lame VMA Announcement/A Normal Look For Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga made a “special” announcement on August 18th about the VMAs (She’s going to open at the show) and she was wearing what seems to be, for her, a normal outfit!?

Besides the birdlike/sea coral combo hat, this is pretty tame.

She appeared at Times Square (former gathering place of TRL fans) to make the inane comment that she will be the opener at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, August 28th…

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The Amazing Spider-Booty Starring Andrew Garfield

I’ve been looking at stills from the yet-to-be-released Amazing Spider-Man movie starring Andrew Garfield (The Social Network, Never Let Me Go) Martin Sheen, Denis Leary, Sally Field and of course blonde Emma Stone.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the most bootylicious, potentially-gay Spider-Man movie that I have ever seen, I hope Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have as much chemistry in the movie as Andrew Garfield and wardrobe piece #1, the Spider-Man suit.

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