‘MUTUAL’ SEPARATION ALERT: Paula Patton Blurs the Lines Between Her and Robin Thicke

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton happyWholesome actress Paula Patton and her ass-grabbing, threesome-loving husband Robin Thicke are living proof that “separating” is the new divorce.

In a statement to People Magazine, Patton said that her and Robin “will always love each other and be best friends” but have “mutually decided to separate.”

I can’t help but think this is grown-up speak for, “we’ve had an open relationship since 2013, and I’m tired of it.” That would at least explain him turning a socialite into a human puppet and making out with a mysterious woman with an epic afro in France.

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The Woman Who Had Her Butt Grabbed by Robin Thicke Thinks You’re All Being a Bit Dramatic

Robin Thicke grabbing buttRobin Thicke caused a big stink when a photo of him posing with a socialite at a VMA party with his hand totally on her butt surfaced. Honestly I do think it is more common for a dude to put his palm on a woman’s back or shoulder when posing for a photo, but it’s Robin Thicke.

I don’t mean that like, he sings “Blurred Lines” so of course he can randomly grope whoever and it’s unsurprising. That song is actually about his wife (not rape, you twats)

“My wife is Mrs. Good Girl… gradually over our marriage I’ve turned her into a bad girl,” Thicke told Howard Stern on the controversy surrounding the song’s meaning.

Back to what I was saying… It’s Robin Thicke, handsome soulful son of Alan Thicke. Paula Patton (wifey) was probably standing right next to him when he took that photo. The woman in question, Lana Scolaro, a sort of cross between Taylor Momsen and Nicky Hilton, says you’re all overreacting. And she’s right.

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