Filthy Animal Justin Bieber Pees Wherever He Damn Well Pleases

justin bieber peeing in a bucketIf you didn’t already hate Justin Bieber then I guess nothing – not even a video of him peeing in a bucket inside a restaurant while his entourage laughs like they just saw Chris Rock at the Apollo – will change your mind.

Besides whizzing down the street and giving his neighbors all kinds of palpitations and high blood pressure, the Biebs apparently loves to whizz where’s he’s not supposed to.

On top of that, he disses Bill Clinton – pretty much the coolest president ever – for no apparent reason. On his way out of the “bathroom” (bucket), Justin sprays a picture of Bill with cleaning solution and says “f*ck Bill Clinton!”

JB’s just jealous because Bubba has more swag and intelligence than some Vanilla Ice wannabe with a 2-inch maple wiener.  Continue reading “Filthy Animal Justin Bieber Pees Wherever He Damn Well Pleases”

Emile Hirsch Makes Intense Ann Coulter Face As He Pees On A Cactus

Emile Hirsch Censored penisI’ve always been jealous of the male ability to pee on a whim, without squatting or using poison ivy as toilet paper, but I’m second guessing my envy after seeing this photo of Emile Hirsch peeing on an aloe vera plant outside the West Hollywood club Bootsy Bellows.

Hard to argue that the paparazzi invaded his privacy when they snapped a picture of the tip of his penis considering he’s outside in a very public area. I’m more concerned for that poor succulent life form he’s hovering over. You don’t have to look closely to see how abused and underfed it was even before he started emptying his bladder onto it.

I’m emptying Emile’s home water tank and replacing it with urine. My ivy urine, to be exact.

Ryan Lochte Turns Olympic Pools Yellow

When Ryan Seacrest asked record-setting Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte if he pees in the pool, he responded with a simple “of course.”

“I think there’s just something about getting into chlorine water that you just automatically go,” he said in a radio interview.

“I didn’t during the races, but I sure did in warm-up.”

It’s not very surprising that a person who spends that much time in the water also pees in it…

A survey from earlier this summer told us that out of 1000 people questioned, one in five of them admitted to relieving themselves in the pool.

Continue reading “Ryan Lochte Turns Olympic Pools Yellow”

Ke$ha Drops A Watery Load In The Street

This week Ke$ha stooped to new lows, the low of her bum almost touching the pavement.

That’s all I could mean by “low” since her most famous song is called “TiK ToK,” she spells her name with a dollar sign, there are moneyshot pictures of her on the internet, and she’s the proud owner of a beard website.

This is a photo of her peeing in the street (via her official Twitter @keshasuxx) not dropping a deuce like I implied. So sorry to disappoint. She wrote, “Pee pee on the street. PoPo come and get me if u can find meeee. I blame traffik.” Thanks a lot, Dr. Seu$$. In a way this is a good thing. Pop stars and modesty, what kind of a combination would that be? Jessica Simpson circa 1999?

Liam Neeson Pissed Himself Again…This Time In Istanbul

The first time it’s funny, the second time it’s a call for help, the third is a little sad… Liam Neeson – Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars, relentless ass-kicking CIA agent in Taken and voice of hairy yellow Jesus in The Chronicles of Narnia – seems in control of everything.

The one thing he doesn’t seem in control of is his bladder and drinking habits. Neeson is currently in Turkey filming Taken 2, during a break he was apparently enjoying the nightlife while being followed European paparazzi who caught him peeing on a building.

Continue reading “Liam Neeson Pissed Himself Again…This Time In Istanbul”