Saddest Selfie of All Time?

wiz-jail Here’s why Wiz Khalifa’s selfie from a jail cell in El Paso is one of the saddest of all time:

He was caught with a mere 0.5 grams of weed (he had 60 grams on his tour bus in 2010).

The only thing that costs less than his $300 bail is Amber Rose’s haircut.

It looks like he’s wearing a diaper.

The police are investigating the contraband phone, as inmates are not allowed to take pictures from jail, so He PROBABLY had to shove it up his ass, which explains the diaper and the look on his face.

Worst of all, he was released, so we still have to listen to his music and watch him try to form words at award shows.

Teenage Girl Poisons Grandma’s Collard Greens for Taking her Cell Phone Away

girl who poisoned grandmaIn the news recently, I was unsurprised to learn that a girl in North Carolina dumped poison meant to exterminate termites into her grandmother’s collard greens while she was at church.

It gets worse… This all happened because grandma, one Gaylon Moody of Fayetteville (a dead ringer for Sweet Brown), confiscated her cell phone for a week.

Via CBS:

The seventeen-year-old Fayetteville girl allegedly dumped insecticide and termite killer into a pot of collard greens her grandmother planned on eating for Easter dinner. The station reports Moody cooked the food before attending church for services, and ate the meal when she returned home.

Moody and her friend Clifton Evans both became ill after eating the collard greens, reports the station.

“About an hour and a half later, we started getting sick,” Moody told the station. “My fingers started feeling numb, (and it spread to) my chest, my face, my mouth.”

A friend of Moody’s rushed the two to the hospital, where they were treated and released.

Teens of today care more about technology, and what that technology represents, than family. Not having the thinnest, fastest phone is a social tragedy, and not having a phone at all is like, so much worse than a dead grandma.

Continue reading “Teenage Girl Poisons Grandma’s Collard Greens for Taking her Cell Phone Away”

Snowboarder Puts # On Helmet, Phone Crashed By Desperate Women

russian snowboarder phone numberA young Russian snowboarder received thousands of messages from women who took notice of the fact that he wore a helmet with his actual phone number written on the side and stood on a rebellious Pussy Riot board during last week’s Olympic finals.

Too many sexy texts and topless photos for his phone’s media storage to handle…

“I’ve got a collection of pictures,” the 22-year-old told USA Today. “It’s really boring in the Olympic Village, you know?”

There are three types of women who would do such a thing: ones who want to be famous, ones who want to talk to a famous person, and ones who are just super horny and bored. Most fall a little into all three categories. These women are a step above those who become penpals with men serving life sentences for murder and a big step below frequent OkCupid users.  Continue reading “Snowboarder Puts # On Helmet, Phone Crashed By Desperate Women”

Colin Farrell Had a Telephone Romance With Elizabeth Taylor

Colin Farrell Elizabeth Taylor ellen Now I will tell you the unexpected tale of how an elder Elizabeth Taylor befriended hunky 30-something Colin Farrell

Taylor sent an orchid to Farrell after she found out he was in the hospital welcoming his son Henry into the world. (She was there having a coronary stent put in.)

Shortly after, the began talking on the phone late at night. Here’s a quote from Vanity Fair, explaining their relationship and why he was asked to speak at her funeral in 2011:

The pair eventually met in person and began exchanging phone calls, especially late-night ones that fit nicely into their insomniac schedules. “She wasn’t much of a sleeper at night like I’m not, so at two o’clock in the morning I’d call her. . .and the nurse would answer the phone. I’d say, ‘Is she awake?’ I’d be on the phone and I’d hear, ‘Hello?’ And I’d go how’s it going and we’d talk for a half an hour an hour into the wee hours. Really cool.’”  Continue reading “Colin Farrell Had a Telephone Romance With Elizabeth Taylor”

Alec Baldwin FURIOUS at Daily Mail Writer, Deletes Twitter

Alec Baldwin wife funeralThe Daily Mail wrote an entire article on Alec Baldwin’s wife Hilaria updating her Twitter while she was at James Gandolfini’s funeral and Alec is MAD. Maybe madder than the time the flight attendants told him to stop playing Words With Friends on his phone or the time he called his daughter on the phone and called her a pig.

Baldwin was so enraged by the apparently untrue story about his wife using her phone during a funeral, he deleted his Twitter. But not before typing up a few slightly homo-centric tweets about the writer, George Stark, who he called a “toxic little queen,” and a “lying little bitch.”

Another favorite: “If put my foot up your f*cking ass, George Stark, but I’m sure you’d dig it too much.”

No idea why Hilaria Thomas wouldn’t want to pay attention to him or Gandolfini’s funeral. It’s not like social media isn’t her only escape now that she’s been knocked up by such a delightful guy.  Continue reading “Alec Baldwin FURIOUS at Daily Mail Writer, Deletes Twitter”

Manti Te’o Clears The Air, Says ‘Never Ever Would I Be Part of This’

Manti Te'o Notre Dame AlabamaManti Te’o admitted in an audio interview with ESPN Friday that he tailored his stories so people would think that he had met Lennay Kekua, the woman he believed to be his girlfriend, who was actually a fictional character created by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo and two other people.

“You know I even knew that it was crazy that I was with someone that I didn’t meet. And let alone people find out that this girl who died who I was so invested in, I didn’t meet her as well,” Te’o told Jeremy Schaap.  Continue reading “Manti Te’o Clears The Air, Says ‘Never Ever Would I Be Part of This’”

Hulk Hogan Answers The Phone During His Sex Tape, Wonders If It’s His Son

There’s a lot going on in Hulk Hogan‘s sex tape (which we first heard about in March). First off, it’s naked Hulk Hogan, so you can’t expect it, or any other celebrity sex tape for that matter, to be “sexy.”

Hulk is married but the woman in question is reportedly not his current wife, but the ex-wife of Hogan’s close friend, Todd Clem aka Bubba the Love Sponge. Sterling Golden Wrestler extraordinaire says he was “secretly filmed” and is already striking back legally.

On to notable things in the video, which we first heard about in March, besides the random swinger action (are all men born before 1960 into wife swapping?), the dialogue is to die for.  Continue reading “Hulk Hogan Answers The Phone During His Sex Tape, Wonders If It’s His Son”

Justin Bieber Cuts Radio Interview Short

Justin Bieber took offense when “Mojo” from the radio program Mojo In The Morning compared him to Justin Timberlake and joked about his mom and Harry Styles of One Direction. Here’s the Timberlake part:

DJ: “I hope you take this as a compliment because I really mean it as that, but when I first got played your song by some of your record people who said ‘Hey I want you to hear something,’ and this was months and months before it came out, they said ‘Take a listen to this and tell me if you can tell me who this is.’ I thought it was Justin Timberlake.”

Bieber: “Where, what one?”

DJ:When I heard ‘Boyfriend’ for the very first time, you know, like I said that it as a compliment ’cause I think Justin Timberlake is the man. But I thought it was Justin Timberlake’s single and then when they told me it was you and I was so excited for ya.”

Bieber: “Man, that’s crazy, because our voices sound nothing alike.”  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Cuts Radio Interview Short”

Jenny McCarthy Sent A Naked Pic To An 80-Year-Old Dentist

Jenny McCarthy was instructed to send images of her an abscess in her 10 year-old son’s mouth to the dentist but accidentally, key word: accidentally (we think), sent a naked photo of herself.

She said, “It’s horrific to remember. Evan woke up and said, ‘There’s this weird thing on my gum.’ … So I called the dentist and said, ‘This is insane.’ He said, ‘Take a picture of it and send it to me’.

“So I’m taking a picture of it and I’m sending it to the dentist and I sent him a nude on accident (sic)! I swear to God! The dentist is, like, 80 years old. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs.”  Continue reading “Jenny McCarthy Sent A Naked Pic To An 80-Year-Old Dentist”

A Pocketed Bra, For All My Hooker Friends

Are you constantly shoving dollar bills, your driver’s license, and phone into your cleavage? If so, there’s a perfect article of clothing for you – the kangaroo-inspired “JoeyBra,” made by two female University of Washington students.

They put the item on the weird-and-creative-funding-goldmine Kickstarter and it’s receiving all kinds of attention. Everyone from Forbes to Jwoww.

The bra, which you can buy for $30 dollars, is designed to look and feel as though there’s nothing in the pocket.

From the website: “Our unique product allows women to finally ditch the purse and opt for freedom. JoeyBra, a sexy pocketed bra, offers two discreet pockets on the sides of the bra.”  Continue reading “A Pocketed Bra, For All My Hooker Friends”

Nooo! Not Heather Morris Too! (NSFW)

Hopefully you have no problems separating Heather Morris‘ teenage Glee age from her real age (25) because Morris, like SO many young cell-obsessed actors/actresses will now be suffering from web embarrassment for at least a few weeks.

In the footsteps of Blake Lively, Scarlett Johansson, Pete Wentz, Kat Dennings, Travis Barker and many others, TV’s Brittany S. Pierce is, like the woman she portrayed so well in season two of the hit Fox show, not that innocent.

Unlike the recent Olivia Munn and Christina Hendricks leak, these photos are as real as Peter Jackson’s stomach.

The authenticity is in the “I’m A Slave For 4 U” getup. There’s just one thing, I’m having a hard time with. THIS picture, what is that? It’s like a very naughty drawing by one of those shitty caricature artists that operate at fairs/by the shore, specializing in exaggeration.  Continue reading “Nooo! Not Heather Morris Too! (NSFW)”

Blake Lively Nudes (In Case You Missed Them)

As you know, Scarlett Johansson‘s nude cell phone pics were recently released, and she’s now on a pointless quest to have them ALL removed from the internet, with a little help from the FBI.

We still all saw her naked, so I’m not sure how taking them off of a few high-profile websites will reduce their notoriety.

In light of that, I wanted to remind you all that Blake Lively ALSO had nudes stolen from her phone by a mischievious hacker that traipsed onto the web in March.

They are actually very similar to Scarlett’s. Same poofy crumpet nipples, and 3D-television booty. Click “continue” to view the Gossip Girl/The Town star’s NSFW/uncensored pictures…

Continue reading “Blake Lively Nudes (In Case You Missed Them)”

The Sun Is Gonna Mess Up Your Phone! (Maybe)

Scientists are reporting that an upcoming surge of solar flares (a sudden, brightening/release of excess energy from the sun) is likely to severely impact satellites, and telecommunications. Basically, your phone, and your Tom Tom! If it is going to happen, it will reportedly happen over the next few days.

Joseph Kunches, a scientist at the Space Weather Prediction Center, a division of the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) has been quoted in saying,

“The magnetic storm that is soon to develop probably will be in the moderate to strong level.”

Continue reading “The Sun Is Gonna Mess Up Your Phone! (Maybe)”