Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom are quite possibly exchanging bodily fluids, and the proof is in this photo. Reportedly of the pair leaving one of Chelsea Handler’s stand-up shows and judging facial expressions only, the photo clearly depicts two very specific types of guilt.
Nearly 40-year-old Orlando is guilty of hooking up with someone who is 21 but looks 12, and Selena just found out the hard way that British men aren’t circumcised.
In that jacket, with those eyes he also kind of looks like a rapey magician. Correction: rapey uncircumcised magician.
TMZ thinks they’re revenge f*cking to get back at Miranda Kerr and Justin Bieber for leaning against each other for 5 seconds as a fashion show four years ago. Not far-fetched at all.