Paper Mag Rep Says They Barely Photoshopped Kim Kardashian’s Naked Behind

The publication responsible for front-to-back Kim Kardashian nudity, Paper Mag, says that “none of the photoshopping they did on her was drastic.”

Not that we haven’t already been wondering for the last 5 years how a human woman could have a waist that thin and an ass that could break even the largest pair of yoga pants, but this is kind of believable if you really think about it.

EVEN THOUGH she looks like a Barbie that went through Krispy Kreme’s glazer, you know from “accidentally” following her career from day 1 that her body basically does look like that naturally (unless she’s been stuffing her Herve Leger with pillows at every single event).

The best part is that Paper Mag had to come out and make a statement not only that the original images were not photoshopped much, but that the un-retouched “originals” that surfaced were fake. (Click here for a real one.)  Continue reading “Paper Mag Rep Says They Barely Photoshopped Kim Kardashian’s Naked Behind”

I Look More Like Beyonce than Beyonce on Flaunt Magazine

Beyonce photoshopped flaunt Beyonce chatted up Flaunt Magazine about Pepsi and pizza and posed for some futuristic photos that just look absolutely nothing like her. Tyra Banks maybe, or Vivica A. Fox, but Bey? No. Anything to do with Pepsi and aliens gets me thinking and (laughing) about that amazing Lana Del Rey drag queen parody. (“I guess you could say I’m like the gangster Nancy Sinatra in that, like, she’s not a gangster and I’m not a Sinatra.”)

I know there’s constant talk of magazines photoshopping models and celebrities, but what about all the “artistic” shoots that still airbrush and morph everyone into barely human fossils of their former selves? They just get a pass, orrrr?

Who am I to talk though? I stay up until 5:00 a.m. with a goal of eventually melting the skin on my eyelids away until I look like the mutant baby from Total Recall.  Continue reading “I Look More Like Beyonce than Beyonce on Flaunt Magazine”

Sandra Bullock’s New Best Friend Has a Suspiciously Small Head and Neck

Melissa McCarthy photoshop“Inseparable” new pals Sandra Bullock and her co-star Melissa McCarthy are roughly the same age, their kids play together and they “finish each other’s sentences, according to a profile in Parade.

“Normally after movies, those friendships go away,” says The Heat (and Bridesmaids) director Paul Feig, “Theirs blossomed.”

Sadly, if R. L. Stine’s How I Got My Shrunken Head had been about an itty bitty lima bean cabeza connected to a living, breathing human we’d have answers on what happened to Sandy’s new bestie on the UK poster for the buddy cop movie that hits U.S. theaters June 28.

As you can see, Melissa’s head looks drastically smaller than Bullock’s, her neck has been airbrushed and, as Buzzfeed pointed out, even her eye color is different due to Photoshop molestation.Melissa McCarthy photoshopped
As if our body issues weren’t already bad enough, industry bigwigs are giving actresses, models and singers digital plastic surgery on the daily if they’re not on a juice diet resulting in organ failure.

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-2-12]

Lady Gaga, before and after Vogue photoshop disaster. (Evil Beet)

Photographic proof that Katy Perry and John Mayer are still dating. (Examiner)

Obama is a HUGE Clint Eastwood fan (Chicago Tribune)

Seal’s rep is trying to tell us that Seal wasn’t calling Heidi Klum a cheater. (People)

Chris Pine on a motorcycle in some Tom Clancy movie. (Huffington Post)

Oil price analyst says gas could cost $3.25 a gallon by the end of the year. (CNN)

Paul Ryan lied about running a marathon in less than three hours. (Gawker)

You’re not good enough for PlayboyCourtney Stodden. (Daily Mail)

Chef at prominent New York restaurant accused of sexually harassing 22 employees. (Jezebel)

Epic Victoria’s Secret Photoshop Fail

This is a photo of what I assume was once a woman, though it looks like two different people wearing matching pink Victoria’s Secret underwear, juxtaposed by men who masturbate to body dysmorphia awareness videos.

The model is Brazil’s Lais Ribeiro. Emphasis on “rib,” I guess (too easy). VS’s Facebook has already received nearly 2,000 comments on it ranging from “sexy” to “anorexia?”

It takes a second to even realize what’s wrong with it, kind of like a Magic Eye poster. If you’re completely tainted by the constant bombardment of other poorly Photoshopped advertisements and promos, I will spell it out for you…

The bottom part of her stomach is much bigger than the top, where her arms cross. SEE IT?