TransAsia Plane Crashes into River, Yields 15 Survivors

taiwan plane crashA plane traveling from Taipei, Taiwan to the neighboring Kinmen islands carrying 58 passengers flew directly in front of traffic on a highway bridge today before crashing into the Keelung River.

Footage and images captured on an onlookers’s dash cam are so surreal they look like something straight out of a Michael Bay movie. The plane, which turned out  a miraculous 15 survivors who stood by the wreckage waiting for rescue, also clipped a taxi cab before plummeting into the river.

Twenty six have been confirmed dead so far with 17 more missing.

Chris Kattan Stumbles Like a Bad SNL Sketch Prior to DUI Arrest

Chris Kattan mugshot DUIChris Kattan, lovable comedic actor and former Saturday Night Live cast member Chris Kattan (Mr. Peepers, Mango, Doug Butabi from A Night at the Roxbury) was arrested for hitting a parked car last week, and TMZ has a video of him a few hours prior wobbling around an airplane like he just watched back-to-back showings of Gravity at IMAX.

An utterly harmless 5’6″ Kattan, who admitted to taking prescription drugs and was reportedly seen “weaving all over the roadway at slow speeds” tweeted that he was more tired than high.

“I just got back from a 15 hour flight after touring out of the country. I was exhausted. The police were so kind. I’m lucky nobody was hurt,” he said, channelling his inner Canadian.

Justin Bieber Hotboxed a Jet

Justin Bieber weed planeAmidst reports that Justin Bieber drove Selena Gomez to go to rehab when he cheated on her with the girl version of himself (Miley Cyrus), there’s also a rumor that he filled a private jet with so much pot smoke on his way to New York for the Super Bowl that the pilots had to wear gas masks.

Let that sink in. Pilots – who are notorious for popping pills and snorting coke btw – couldn’t handle the amount of weed smoke that had permeated throughout the plane.

Drug dogs at the airpot unsurprisingly found no “unsmoked marijuana,” not because Justin and his crew of Lil’ Zas and Twists were wise enough to cover their tracks, but because they are enormously greedy and likely burned up more than their combined weight (200 pounds?) in weed during one flight from Canada to NYC.

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, No Wait, It’s Demi Lovato ON a PLANE Snorting Cocaine

Demi Lovato shared some lurid details of her past, which is completely littered with empty bottles, mirrors, and rolled-up dollar bills. Lovato, who spent part of 2010 in rehab, recently told Access Hollywood that she used to smuggle coke onto planes and snort it among sleeping passengers.

“I couldn’t go without 30 minutes to an hour without cocaine and I would bring it on airplanes,” Lovato said. “I would smuggle it basically and just wait until everyone in first class would go to sleep and I would do it right there.”

The 21-year-old admitted that she was “very good at manipulating people” and had no trouble hiding her drug use from a sober companion who was hired to keep an eye on her 24 hours a day.

These Photos of the Boeing 777 Crash in San Francisco are Insane

san francisco airplane crash 2013
A plane coming into San Francisco from Seoul, South Korea across the Pacific Ocean skidded and ignited after a failed landing this morning that left two dead and 181 in need of medical attention.

Multiple sources for the L.A. Times have stated that that pilot did not make a distress call before the crash.
boing 777 plane crash
“I know the airport pretty well, so I realized the guy was a bit too low, too fast, and somehow he was not going to hit the runway on time,” one passenger told a local news station.

Continue reading “These Photos of the Boeing 777 Crash in San Francisco are Insane”

Lewis Hamilton Buys Private Jet to See More of Nicole Scherzinger

Lewis hamilton nicole scherzingerIf you were a Formula 1 Race Driver who just signed a $94 million contract with Mercedes would you rather a) buy a $47 million private jet to see your girlfriend across the world or b) spend $1 million on whores to dress up like your girlfriend. See this is the difference between true romantic Lewis Hamilton and Charlie Sheen.

The 28-year old race car driver splashed out on a private jet so he could see his former Pussy Cat Doll and shiteous solo artist Nicole Scherzinger. See ladies, all it takes to supremely whip a man is exotic Eurasian- Indian looks and the leadership skills to shoot seven strippers to stardom.

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One Direction Band Members Jealous of Heathrow Haylor

Heathrow Haylor 1Taylor Swift is to One Direction what Yoko Ono was to The Beatles, a source tells the The Sun. According to them, Taylor is Yoko-y because Harry Styles “ditched” his bandmates in favor of a cozy private plane ride with his new girlfriend.

The article also makes a point of mentioning that Liam Payne suffered painful injuries at Heathrow airport after fighting through aggressive fans.

Five dollars on the anonymous source actually being one of the guys from One Direction.

Continue reading “One Direction Band Members Jealous of Heathrow Haylor”

This is Usher, Skydiving Over Dubai

Usher skydiveSecond heir to Michael Jackson’s throne (after Timberlake and before Mars) Usher took his cute butt up in a plane over Dubai’s Palm Islands for the weekend.

As you can see, his climax face is on full display as he drops out of a plane from 30,000 feet.

I will never go skydiving because I know I wouldn’t jump unless someone pushed me or threw candy out of the plane and no one I know carries gummy worms around in their pockets or is fond enough of heights.

Enjoying Usher’s adventures (and the skydiving sex couple‘s) from afar is as comfortably close as I get to strapping a fool on my back while the wind strips my hair follicles.  Continue reading “This is Usher, Skydiving Over Dubai”

Rihanna Flies Fans and Press Around The Globe for ‘777 Tour,’ is Generous With In-Flight Alcohol

Holy snakeskin boots on a plane! Flying with Rihanna is exactly what you’d expect. She gets on the intercom to amp up the passengers, personally funnels Courvoisier and Tamales into your throat and cranks up the subwoofers.

For her new [Boeing] 777 Tour (hashtag RihannaPlane), the queen of bright shining diamonds is flying 250 fans and members of the press, who have been not been shy about Tweeting and Instagramming the results, around the world to seven countries.

Kicking off in Mexico City with meal choices of tacos and tamales and mandatory tequila, Rihanna reportedly has goodie bags with Nude perfume, plays Unapologetic on a sound system at the back of the plane, and walks down the aisles making her fans swoon, getting her picture taken and offering champagne.

Continue reading “Rihanna Flies Fans and Press Around The Globe for ‘777 Tour,’ is Generous With In-Flight Alcohol”

Jeremy Renner’s Friends Slipped Him A Viagra

Jeremy Renner thought he was taking an Ambien on an 11-hour flight from Los Angeles to London recently, turns out it was Hugh Hefner’s favorite thing to eat before he goes hunting for girls one-fourth his age.

Yep, Renner’s friends slipped him the little blue erectile dysfunction pill known as Viagra.

“I had to sleep,” the Bourne Legacy actor told Jimmy Kimmel“So somebody gave me some pills, like the Ambien, so great, take a little sleeping pill, pop it and realized nothing’s happening – but something else is happening.”

“I realize very quickly that that ‘a’ was actually a little ‘v.’ Not only did I not sleep the entire flight, but there was ‘camping’  happening!” 

So my question is, who wouldn’t want to share a plane with hard-hat Hawkeye? If not for humor’s sake, then to have blackmail photos. Continue reading “Jeremy Renner’s Friends Slipped Him A Viagra”

A Dating Website For People Who **** On Planes

Oh you scandalous harlot, I bet you thought the **** stood for “fuck” well it doesn’t, it’s for “meet.” Oh, hell it totally means that too because let’s face it, the plane passengers who are looking for each other totally did that too.

The website in question is WeMetOnAPlane.com, seriously. Here’s their description and steps to using the site…

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Travis Barker Needs Hypnotherapy To Fly Again

Travis Barker opened up about his 2008 plane crash that left him and collaborator DJ AM (Adam Goldstein, who passed away in 2009) with critical injuries

The Blink-182 drummer who recently changed to a more healthy lifestyle that includes running and swimming and a vegan diet, says that his understandable fear of flying is hindering his professional life as a musician:

“Unfortunately I can’t do as much touring as I would like because I don’t fly, it’s an obstacle. I’m working on it though. I’m trying to get hypnotised, trying to talk to a doctor who retrains your brain. Maybe he’ll help me fly again one day…”

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Video: Friendly Fires – “Hawaiian Air”

And here I present the latest single from Friendly Fires, directed by documentary filmmaker Chris Cottam. “Hawaiian Air,” the sad but sweet, melancholy sound of late summer, or in the case of Hawaii, all-year-round heat accompanied by mass rainstorms.

The song is from their second CD, Pala, released on XL Recordings.

Continue reading “Video: Friendly Fires – “Hawaiian Air””

I’ve Had It With These Motherfuckin’ Bats On This Motherfuckin’ Plane!

Last Friday, August 5th, on a Delta Airlines Flight from Wisconsin to Georgia, a bat snuck its way on a plane and flapped its Nosferatu-self up and down the aisles as several of the 50 passengers on board swatted at it with what I assume to be rolled-up copies of Delta Sky Magazine. Passenger Mike Schmidt managed to capture the above video of the bat’s short-lived plane adventure.

The bat was eventually trapped in the bathroom by passengers on flight 5121, from Madison to Atlanta. The real clincher is, the plane was searched and apparently, the bat was never found. So it could totally happen again, to you, dun dun dun.

Continue reading “I’ve Had It With These Motherfuckin’ Bats On This Motherfuckin’ Plane!”