Bruce Jenner Looks So Much Better As A Woman Than As A Man

call me caitlyn coverCaitlyn Jenner subtly clarified in her Vanity Fair article that she is a super separate entity from her stepdaughters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, but she sure does publicity like a Kardashian.

No more speculation. Even the former Bruce Jenner’s excessive use of plastic surgery makes more sense now. The beauty standard bar has been set especially high in his family, but it also had a lot to do with him hating the masculine features that made him a sex symbol in the ’70s.

“Underneath my suit I have a bra and panty hose and this and that and thinking to myself, ‘They know nothing about me,'” Jenner said in her eye-opening VF interview. “Little did they know I was totally empty inside.”  Continue reading “Bruce Jenner Looks So Much Better As A Woman Than As A Man”

POLL: Worse Embodiment: Red Skull or Justin Bieber?

extreme plastic surgery red skull justin bieberHenry Damon – a man with a wife and children who are either also insane or couldn’t convince him otherwise – has opted for multiple surgeries to make him look more like Red Skull, the satan-faced Nazi nemesis of Captain America.

“Most of my customers know that body modification is the last step of body art, everyone knows very well what they want and as well as Henry, many of them are waiting for me for many years to make their dreams a reality,” said the man who helped the real-life Red Skull tattoo his cheekbones and eyeballs and remove part of his nose.  Continue reading “POLL: Worse Embodiment: Red Skull or Justin Bieber?”

Renée Zellweger’s ‘New Face’ is Probably Just Due to Weight Loss

renee zellweger new faceWhen I first heard about Renée Zellweger’s new face, I was like, umm, where does one obtain such a thing and did she get a BOGO like maybe she has an extra one in the vault like a winter face and a summer face.

Maybe one for Fall that’s more round or even maple-leaf shaped and another for cold season with a pine fresh scent and a special lacquer so it doesn’t melt in front of the fireplace?

All I know is, I saw her face circa now and it is drastically different than circa 2000 whatever RZ. For a second I went straight to plastic surgery, but a lot of people, including Renée Zellweger herself say it’s simply because she lost weight. Via PEOPLE:

“People don’t know me in my 40s,” says Zellweger, who prefers to lead a quiet life with Bramhall and a close circle of friends. Recently, she pitched in to help her pal and longtime publicist, Nanci Ryder, who is battling ALS, at the ALS Association Golden West Chapter’s annual Walk to Defeat ALS in Los Angeles.

“People don’t know me [as] healthy for a while,” says Zellweger. “Perhaps I look different. Who doesn’t as they get older?! Ha. But I am different. I’m happy.”

Continue reading “Renée Zellweger’s ‘New Face’ is Probably Just Due to Weight Loss”

Lisa Kudrow Had Plastic Surgery at Age 16

Lisa kudrow nose job before and afterOne of my favorite comic actresses, Lisa Kudrow, got a nose job when she was in high school, calling it a “good, good change” because of how uncomfortable she felt prior.

“That was life altering. I went from, in my mind, hideous, to not hideous,” Kudrow told The Saturday Evening Post. “I did it the summer before going to a new high school. So there were plenty of people who wouldn’t know how hideous I looked before.”

I’ve always loved and respected Lisa Kudrow, and this news doesn’t change that one bit.  Continue reading “Lisa Kudrow Had Plastic Surgery at Age 16”

The Face Courtney Stodden Made After Her Boob Job: Priceless

Courtney Stodden wheelchair Courtney Stodden had her first ever cosmetic surgery over the weekend. (“First ever” is harder to type than “Justin Bieber doesn’t deserve to be thrown into an active volcano.”)

On the way out of the hospital following a procedure to expand her breasts and make her look more void of substance than hatchery-born salmon, 18-year-old Stodden finally looked her age.

It’s as if Doug Hutchison’s sole beneficiary had her teddy bear stolen. Or maybe she’s making that face because she finally got to take a break from tugging and slobbering on 53-year-old balls.

Speaking of balls, I have a few dick jokes I like to pester assholes who tell me to make them sandwiches on Xbox Live with. Mind if I test some of them out on you?  Continue reading “The Face Courtney Stodden Made After Her Boob Job: Priceless”

Mickey Rourke’s Face Is Flatlining

Mickey Rourke isn’t going to be a mummy for Halloween but he wouldn’t have to change much to do so.

In new pictures acquired by Radar and The National Enquirer, Mickey’s face is on display after work (plastic surgery) he had done in 2011.

He can blame the broken nose and messed up cheekbone he incurred after his stint as a teenage boxer (from 1964 to 1972) all he wants but these surgeries are about as necessary as my neighbor burning steak and letting the entire hallway fill up with smoke.

I mean, would it kill you to open the outside door to let some air in? No, but Mickey is zero botched surgeries away from an unrevivable career. My hair still smells like smoke and his face looks like shit.

You’d Never Recognize Lark Voorhies From Saved By The Bell

The spunky and preppy Bayside High student Lisa Turtle likely stands out strongly in your childhood memory along with her fictional classmates, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Screech, Kelly Kapowski and Jessie Spano on Saved By The Bell.

You probably remember her as a veritable queen of  fluorescent sweaters, hair ties, and side ponytails and for constantly telling Dustin Diamond, whose character had a huge crush on her in the show, to “heel.”

Lark Voorhies, now 38, who portrayed Lisa for six years, looks very very different today. Her transformation was shown during an interview for Michael Yo’s Yahoo series, where she promoted her new movie The Hope For Pandora’s Box.  Continue reading “You’d Never Recognize Lark Voorhies From Saved By The Bell”

Let’s Mourn The Loss Of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Face

Nineties sex symbol Lara Flynn Boyle was photographed in Los Angeles on Saturday looking more like MADtv’s Ms. Swan than the woman who once graced the cover of Rolling Stone with her female Twin Peak‘s castmates.

I was reading what one of my favorite “gossip” websites, Pajiba, had to say about it and Dustin Rowles proved a good point. He said:

“When I see pictures of Lara Flynn Boyle or Meg Ryan in their current state, I don’t feel venomous…What I feel is a sort of empathetic helplessness. I feel sad, not necessarily for the way Lara Flynn Boyle looks now, but about the circumstances that drove her to this.”

And while I’d love to throw up comparisons photos of her next to a grumpy alien, I too feel sad that she can’t handle aging naturally. Continue reading “Let’s Mourn The Loss Of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Face”

Deena Cortese Changed Her Face/Body

Deena Cortese, one half of “team meatball” and replacement to Angelina in season three of Jersey Shore looks very different lately.

She showed up at MTV’s Spring Break party and immediately sparked plastic surgery rumors.

Cortese had veneers put on her teeth and told Twitter followers that she changed her diet, thinned her eyebrows and improved her makeup skills.

“Just to let ya know..I have not got any plastic surgery yes in the past i have had a nose job and i am not against plastic surgery at all…I am not afraid to ADMIT i got plastic surgery so if I do, I’ll let u know.”

“I thinned my eyebrows and lost weight thanks to the @freshdiet and learned how to do my makeup. Lighter eye shadow brings out my eyes and highlight under my eyes gives an effect of higher cheek bones. The end.”

Woman Gets 100 Lip Injections In Order To Resemble Jessica Rabbit

Congratulations, creepy woman in St Petersburg Russia, you now have the biggest lips in existence. Yes, Kristina Rei was convinced for years that her lips were thin and undesirable so she took drastic and unnecessary measures.

Her solution? Over one hundred lip injections, since the age of 17 (she’s 22 now) in order to look just like her childhood idol – Jessica Rabbit.

Each silicone injection costs around $53 U.S. dollars so overall she’s had about $5200 dollars worth of mouth-specific plastic surgery. Also, she says she’s not done.

“My big lips have helped boost my confidence. Even my parents are happy for me. They really don’t care about my appearance. Some of my friends have told me I shouldn’t go any bigger but I’m not satisfied yet.”

Continue reading “Woman Gets 100 Lip Injections In Order To Resemble Jessica Rabbit”

Courtney Stodden’s Reasons To Not Get Plastic Surgery

I really don’t know who Courtney Stodden is. After reading about her, I think she’s famous for being young (17) and marrying some gross old actor dude from Lost and The Green Mile. (51 year-old Doug Hutchison)

Apparently they were dating when she was 16 years-old. Which is horrible and I thought, illegal? But umm, besides that, she’s clearly had a massive wad of plastic surgery…

Continue reading “Courtney Stodden’s Reasons To Not Get Plastic Surgery”

Rose McGowan Looks Like An Alien During NY Fashion Week

I really like Rose McGowan, I think she’s funny and has a pretty decent career, appearing in one of my favorite movies, Jawbreaker, and favorite shows Nip/Tuck.

HOWEVER I don’t approve of her blatant plastic surgery addiction. In this photo of her at NY Fashion Week, her lips look like two pink burn-victim survivor slugs.

Her eyes and forehead seem forlorn, aggravated from all the needle injection points. Weird how most people who continuously get botox or cosmetic surgery are the ones who need it the least. 

Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing

Everyone’s been talking about Lindsay Lohan‘s 17 year-old sister’s new look. Ali Lohan’s modeling portfolio has opened our eyes to the fears of “growing up.”

Or is it plastic surgery? Or maybe she just started eating more scarcely than Cinderella, and intentionally stopped plucking her eyebrows.

She looks like some sort of terrifying 95-pound waif-mannequin. Someone help her!

And whatever you do, don’t book her for any work! Nobody encourage this possibly UFO-abductee!…

Continue reading “Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing”

Did Jwoww Get Botox Or What?

I keep watching season four of Jersey Shore and fearing the moments when I have to look at Jwoww’s stretched, unmoving face.

I went on Google image search on a desperate quest to find comparison photos and then sadly realized that she doesn’t actually look as different as I thought.

Can some expert surgeon examine Jwoww and tell me if she had work done? The gossiping, pop-culture-devouring monster inside of me really needs to know…

Continue reading “Did Jwoww Get Botox Or What?”