Fred Armisen is Someone Basically All Women Should Avoid

Take what anonymous commenters on the internet have to say with a grain of salt, but there are just too many similar stories about Portlandia pioneer and Late Night bandleader Fred Armisen not being the fun, nice nerd-guy you imagine for it to be a coincidence.

Before and after Armisen’s ex-wife Elisabeth Moss publicly called being married to him “traumatic” and “horrible,” many non-famous women have taken to the internet to share their experiences. Apparently, Fred likes to keep girls on the side. Girls that he is very attentive and sweet with until he gets what he wants, and while his marriage to Moss might not have broken up because he was “sleeping with prostitutes,” as one commenter suggested, one woman did say this:

Fred got me pregnant, I had a miscarriage and he abandoned me.

And that’s not a stand-alone statement just coming out of nowhere. There are handfuls of people using the words “sociopath,” “cheater” and “asshole” to describe him.

He’s also very funny, so if you have a vagina, turn on your TV and laugh at him from afar. Or just work with him be gay. That seems to work for Carrie Brownstein.

FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE

Fred Armisen yeah yeah yeahs behind a tree Portland You see the man in the nondescript, green jacket with folded arms standing behind a tree and familiar Pacific Northwestern grey sky? That’s Fred Armisen, of  Portlandia, watching Har Mar Superstar open for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

My friend and I spotted the Saturday Night Live alumn in the far back, enjoying the show and posing for pictures with everyone that walked by, looked at him, and made that priceless “Oh shit” face of awe, happiness and surprise you make when you see Fred Armisen standing behind a tree like the normal person that he is.

For a while we just watched him and felt bad that he couldn’t enjoy himself, eventually speculating that maybe he was one of those tragically lonely celebrities who finds solace in talking to strangers who recognize him. After a 20-minute discussion, we did what any two assholes would and demanded a picture with him.  Continue reading “FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE”