Mirrors Are For Ugly People: Angelina Jolie Shows Up to Premiere With White Stuff all Over Her Face

Angelina and brad The Normal Heart Angelina Jolie white face
Angelina Jolie‘s makeup put-er-on-er let her down in a big way. Jolie arrived at a screening of her husband’s film, The Normal Heart with flour or cocaine all over her cheeks and nobody bothered to tell her!

That’s right, the most beautiful woman in the world forgot to look in a mirror…

Brad probably thought about mentioning it, but was afraid she’d spit venom and then a tail with a stinger would come out from under her dress and burning green venom would fly out of her lips as soon as he did.

You know, method acting to prepare for her role as a giant scorpion in Jurassic World. 

“What looks perfect in normal lighting can appear totally different when you have the harsh lights of flashing cameras on you,” Mark celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenberg tells Us Weekly. “Many women think you can just touch up with any powder for a red carpet event, but all powders have different finishing textures.”

Mystery of the white woman doing whiteface, solved. Whoever chose that powder has no business working with anyone but people who don’t matter, like the cast of Sharknado 2. And redheads.  Continue reading “Mirrors Are For Ugly People: Angelina Jolie Shows Up to Premiere With White Stuff all Over Her Face”

Ashton Kutcher Was The Albino From ‘Powder’ In High School

Snakkle.com posted vintage photos of the Two And A Half Men cast yesterday and one stood out tremendously from the mostly ordinary pictures of Jon Cryer as Ducky and the like…

A bald, pale and apparently screeching Ashton Kutcher, from his high school days at Clear Creek-Amana in Iowa.

I don’t know if he was on the swim team or what, but he’s bald and terrifying and looks EXACTLY like the albino from Powder.

Continue reading “Ashton Kutcher Was The Albino From ‘Powder’ In High School”

Outkast’s Big Boi Arrested On Crazy Drug Charges

One part of Outkast was arrested today in Miami and charged with one count of paraphernalia possession and three counts of controlled substance possession. 36 year old Antwan Patton aka Big Boi was booked at about 1:30 pm  on a $16,000 bond, according to the Florida authorities.

The real juice here is the drugs he had on him, which were found by customs/border patrol dogs. MDMA powder (crushed ectascy) ecstasy tablets AND unprescribed viagra. Whoa. Boi likes to partyyyyy. Apparently while “rolling” with a boner. Ouch.

The contraband was found in his luggage. And his lawyer, Daniel Kane, already issued a statement on his client’s behalf:

“While Big Boi was traveling with his group and friends, a small amount of contraband was found in the collective luggage…I am confident when the entire facts are aired Big Boi will be completely exonerated.”

Hmmmm… Hopefully this won’t impact that new Outkast material with Andre 3000 we’ve been hearing about.