Brad Pitt Gets Punched, Angelina Jolie’s Claws Stay Retracted

Brad Pitt was punched in the face at the Los Angeles premiere of Maleficent (which is, let’s face it, Snow White and the Huntsman with a different cast) and his real-life evil wife did nothing to stop it.

Angelina Jolie was reportedly “busy signing autographs in another section” when the attacker jumped over a barrier and lunged at Pitt, but I believe she hired the man to punch her husband so other women would find him less desirable even though most of us haven’t desired him since Troy. (Ten years ago? Eek, I feel old.)

The assailant is notorious prankster Vitalii Sediuk, the very same who kissed Will Smith at the Men in Black III premiere and stole Adele’s award at the 2013 Grammys.

 
Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is rejoicing…  Continue reading “Brad Pitt Gets Punched, Angelina Jolie’s Claws Stay Retracted”

Kanye West Punched a Guy Who Called Kim Names

Kim and Kanye making facesKim Kardashian was on her way to an appointment with a chiropractor (an ass-reduction might be in order if these back pains persist) when a crazy 18-year-old shoved through the paparazzi and threw some choice vocabulary her way.

The teen allegedly followed her into the waiting room, called her a “stupid slut” and yelled “n*gger” at Kanye West, who she called on the phone during the commotion.

Black Alec Baldwin stormed into the office to bully the bully who called his wifey a stupid slutty “n*gger-lover,” and is now facing battery charges, according to TMZ.

If anyone is going to be arrested it should be Kim Kardashian for her performance in Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor. (I’m going to break all my dishes if she doesn’t win the Razzie.)

Bus Driver Punches Woman Like A Championship Boxer And Tosses Her Off The Bus

Who hasn’t been on the bus when a vicious yelling match or knife fight broke out?

Keeping that in mind, would be kind of surprised to hear that a bus driver in Ohio punched a belligerent barking woman? Still no?

What if I told you that he delivered the sickest uppercut to her jaw since Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in 1990 and threw her out of the bus like she was a dry Christmas tree on January 1st?

The Cleveland RTA (Regional Transit Authority) is looking into the fight after it gained national attention and sparked a debate of whether it’s ever okay to hit a woman unless it’s Ron Perlman in Frankie Go Boom or the MMA’s Ronda Rousey (because she’d kick your ass for trying).

Continue reading “Bus Driver Punches Woman Like A Championship Boxer And Tosses Her Off The Bus”

The Closest Thing You’ll See To A Justin Bieber Hate Crime

For Complex Magazine’s 10th anniversary issue they put Justin Bieber on the cover, no big thang there besides the fact that he’s covered in blood, bruises and steak meat.

Whether the people behind this hate him, want attention or truly think this is artistic doesn’t matter to me. It’s Justin Bieber, beat to a pulp. It’s not real but a girl can dream. Their excuse?

“Pop stardom is a contact sport, but at age 18 Justin Bieber knows how to roll with the punches. Believe that.” Hmm, doesn’t look like he’s good at rolling with anything except letting his assistant slide his tiny legs through a pair of loose purple jeans.  Continue reading “The Closest Thing You’ll See To A Justin Bieber Hate Crime”

Iron Man Punched ScarJo With Metal Fist Of Reality

Reportedly (means I have no clue if this is true or not) Robert Downey Jr. punched Scarlett Johansson on the set of the new Avengers movie, because he pushed the wrong button in his Iron Man suit.

A “source” (still dunno if it’s true) says:

“Robert triggered a switch that controls one of his arms and it suddenly jerked backward and whacked poor Scarlett. Knocked silly, she staggered backward, then lost her balance and fell off the low platform they were standing on.”

At LEAST now we know who’d win in a fight between Iron Man and Black Widow. Oh wait, I already knew…

Continue reading “Iron Man Punched ScarJo With Metal Fist Of Reality”