Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-12-12]

The Situation channels Mark Wahlberg in new PETA ad. (Gawker)

Watch the Hitchcock trailer now for sexy bald Hannibal as Alfred. (ohmyGAHH!)

Michael Vick‘s dog is “well cared for and loved.” (TMZ)

Instructor at Zumba ran a prostitution ring out of her studio. (CBS)

Shailene Woodley (The Descendants) as the new Mary Jane in the next Spider-Man? (G4)

“My mom does not do cocaine,” says liar liar Lindsay Lohan on fire. (Daily Mail)

Kobe Bryant says ex-teammate Smush Parker was “the worst” point guard ever. (Yahoo!)

If you’ve never seen Bar Refaeli in a bikini, here’s your chance. (Celebuzz)