Boat Full of Diseased Rats Headed for the UK

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News of an abandoned cruise ship full of nothing but infected rats hit the web today.

After letting Bieber out of its sight, Canada is at strike two for doing nothing about the ghost ship full of hundreds of rats, who have “been eating each other to survive,” according to The Independent.

The diseased cannibal rats are currently sitting on a boat that was originally built in Yugoslavia in the mid-’70s for sightseeing cruises to remote, icy locations is now headed straight for the UK, you know, because Canadians are secretly cruel and want to remind England of all the sickly grey bodies that piled high in the streets during the rodent-spread plague of the 14th century.  Continue reading “Boat Full of Diseased Rats Headed for the UK”

I Spy A Chupacabra, In Maryland

Hospital employees at Prince George Hospital in Cheverly, Maryland, have been spotting an unidentified creature in the wooded area near their work since early June of 2011, but only recently have they been able to capture the animal on video. They’ve adopted it as their mascot, lovingly him/her Prince Chupa.

So what is a Chupacabra, you might ask? Well I’ve been poking around the internet and have found that it is basically the latino community’s version of bigfoot, an unknown creature that is inherently evil and drinks the blood of goats. Its mythology is varied. Some people describe it as an alien/dinosaur/vampire while others say it is a panther with a snake’s tongue. Biologists wave these theories off, simply calling the sighted Chupacabras “Coyotes with scabies.”

One employee at Prince George Hospital, Joe Livermore, describes the newfound creature as a “A kangaroo, dog, rat mixed,” adding, “It’s got a rat tail and a head like a deer. I don’t know what it is.”

Continue reading “I Spy A Chupacabra, In Maryland”