Lindsay Lohan Thinks Jennifer Lawrence Spreads Her Legs as Often as She Falls on the Red Carpet and Talks About Food

\Jennifer Lawrence excited
After telling Andy Cohen just the other day that she will not say anything bad about fellow actresses and finds that behavior “sad” after being asked what she thought of Rosie O’Donnell saying her new reality show on OWN caused “suffering, destruction and distress,” it’s hard to believe that Lindsay Lohan accused Jennifer Lawrence of sleeping around to get movie roles, but UPI is reporting just that.

According to the website, Lohan threw Lawrence into her burn book during a drunken interview with Kode magazine, saying the following words:

“She’s so fake and I’m sorry I’m not going to f*ck for roles.”

The chances that Lindsay actually said that are probably slimmer than the number of people who watch her show, but she did tell Cohen that she’s “done with mugshots and ready for an Oscar” – something Lawrence has, along with an intact face and sense of self – so maybe whoever said green was the color of envy was wrong. Maybe it’s redheaded and smells of menthol cigarettes and cab driver semen. Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Thinks Jennifer Lawrence Spreads Her Legs as Often as She Falls on the Red Carpet and Talks About Food”

Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You

Kesha gold toothKe$ha is known for being wonderfully dirty. Only slightly less wonderful is the fact that she talks about being dirty ALL THE TIME. From necklaces made of teeth, to beard fingering and touching ghosts in the dark, she’s a very imaginative lady.

On the MTV reality show My Crazy Beautiful Life, the result of her brother and his “weird friend” following her around with a camera, we get to see her drinking pee. Her own pee. That makes it better, right?

“I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy,” Ke$ha told BBC Radio 1. “Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross, so I don’t do it anymore.”

Continue reading “Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You”

What To Expect From Ke$ha’s Reality Show

Kesha my crazy beautiful life promoI have a bad feeling about the Ke$ha reality show MTV just okayed.

Maybe it won’t live up to its full potential, like Snakes on a Plane. Maybe it’ll die after two seasons the way The Ashlee Simpson show did.

What if it isn’t about Ke$ha drinking her own puke out of an iron lung??

So what will My Crazy Beautiful Life (also the name of her book), which debuts in April, actually be about? Ke$ha says it will reveal a “more complete picture” of her life, which is “real” and “not at all glamorous.”  Continue reading “What To Expect From Ke$ha’s Reality Show”

Chad Johnson Punished By NFL And VH1 For Head-Butting Incident

Both VH1 and the Miami Dolphins are cutting ties with wide receiver Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson after he sent his wife, Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada to the ER.

The fight reportedly began when Lozada accused Johnson of infidelity after discovering a receipt for condoms. Much like Chris Brown, who was famously “caught in a lie” by Rihanna, Chad retaliated with violence. A head-butt, to be specific.

The Dolphins terminated his one-year contract and his 11-episode reality show co-starrig his wife, Ev & Ocho, was cancelled by VH1 before it aired.

Houston Family Reality Show On The Way

Way to capitalize on your recently lost and excruciatingly famous family member. Cissy Houston and Bobbi Kristina, Whitney Houston‘s mother and daughter, are set to star in a 10 episode reality show. The working title is The Houston Family Chronicles.

The show will run in late 2012 on the Lifetime channel and will focus on the bonding process of Whitney’s relatives in their time of grief, with cameras following them everywhere but the bathroom? Wicked smart.

Other key figures will include Houston’s brother Gary and her longtime manager and sister-in-law Pat and her teen daughter who I assume is friends with Bobbi Kristina? Bobby Brown is not reported to be involved though I’m sure he’ll make an appearance.  Continue reading “Houston Family Reality Show On The Way”

The End Of Khloe And Lamar…On TV, For A Second

Khloe & Lamar has not been cancelled, as we all initially thought. The show is simply on a hiatus.

Really? For a second I was weeping over the end of an era.

No more Lamar being grumpy over his recently soured NBA career, no more Khloe screaming “I love you doll” and inappropriately slapping her five sisters and mom on the behind?

Malika and Rob will just be funneled back onto Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Obviously, I watch the four K-Dash shows way too much. But it isn’t the end, of any of them.

“Our show is not canceled,” Khloe told ET. “Lamar and I have just chosen to take a break this summer. I feel like we’ve been on a whirlwind and doing back-to-back shows.”  Continue reading “The End Of Khloe And Lamar…On TV, For A Second”

Jonas Brothers Reality Coming Soon To E!

I’m sure that news of a Jonas Brothers reality show peaks your interests to the max. I’m not interested in giving my five readers a heart attack, so proceed with caution.

Headlines read “Move Over Kardashians” after word of a Jonas show on the E! Network hit the web. Sources call the Disney princesses prince’s show a “family” effort that is set in New York.

Nick Jonas (the one with diabetes) will probably be followed around as he performs on Broadway in How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. 

Kevin (the elder one who ironically looks the most like a baby with sideburns) will likely be filmed with his wife, Danielle Deleasa.  Continue reading “Jonas Brothers Reality Coming Soon To E!”

Clint Eastwood’s Daughters And Wife To Star In Reality Show

Clint Eastwood’s wife and two daughters are to be the focus of a new reality show on E!, the wonderful network that introduced us to Kendra Wilkinson and the Kardashians.

The show will star Dina Eastwood (35 years Dirty Harry’s junior) and two of Clint’s younger daughters, 15 year-old Morgan Eastwood, and his daughter with actress Frances Fisher, 18 year-old Francesca.

Though Clint is not expected to appear in the entire show, which is produced by Bunim/Murray (The Real World, Bad Girls Club) he has reportedly agreed to make a few cameos.

DAMNNNNNN. Get off my lawn! (New Gran Torino-inspired yenta phrase to express the term “Get outta here!”)

Kevin Smith’s AMC Reality Show ‘Secret Stash’

Remember when all AMC was good for was Halloween movies once a year and then 364 days of Clint Eastwood westerns?

Well, things have changed. The network AMC now proudly boasts the three most critically acclaimed shows on cable television – Breaking Bad, Mad Men and The Walking Dead.

They’re now adding a new show to their lineup, in a much different direction. A reality show produced by director/nerd/hockey fan/comedian Kevin Smith. (Mallrats, Clerks)

The show is called “Secret Stash,” and is going to offer a detailed look into Smith’s real-life comic book shop, Jay And Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in Red Bank, New Jersey.

Continue reading “Kevin Smith’s AMC Reality Show ‘Secret Stash’”