Yeezus Honeymoon Period Ends as Critics Suddenly Remember Kanye West is a Terrible Person

Yeezus original coverIt’s been an exciting week for America’s favorite douchebag Kanye West, with the release of not only his Kardashian lovechild North, but also his much anticipated new album Yeezus, which “leaked” last week to overwhelmingly positive reviews.

I mean shit, even the snobby assholes over at Pitchfork gave the album a 9.5 and slapped it with a “Best New Music” award. And these are the people who once gave a 2.0 rating to a Nine Inch Nails album.  You know what?  Fuck Pitchfork.

When the weekend rolled around, however, critics began digging deeper into the album. Dorian Lynskey wrote up a solid review questioning some of Kanye’s lyrics and messaging.  Among Lynskey’s least favorite lyrics are “Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign” (nice!) and “I call that apartheid,”  referring to his wife and mistress being forced to sit on opposite sides of the basketball court at an NBA game (Courtside Apartheid?  Also, what wife and mistress?  Kim Kardashian doesn’t count).  Continue reading “Yeezus Honeymoon Period Ends as Critics Suddenly Remember Kanye West is a Terrible Person”

Beloved Film Critic Roger Ebert Dead at 70

Rogert Ebert starIt’s hard to not be emotional about the passing of Roger Ebert, who died today at the age of 70 after a long struggle with thyroid cancer, considering he was the only critic I trusted and agreed with 99.9% of the time. (The .01% being horror movies and video games not being art.)

Without him, I would have thought that all reviewers were ignoramuses, paid off by the studios or overly invested in tip-toeing around bashing something that will likely appeal to the majority, or praising something that might not.

Who are we left with, without Roger? Peter Travers makes my stomach churn (still reeling from the two and a half stars he gave to the American remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and the three and a half given to the mediocre Haywire), and Richard Roeper is too nice.  Continue reading “Beloved Film Critic Roger Ebert Dead at 70”

Lindsay Lohan’s Bellybutton Walks The Red Carpet, Plus ‘Liz & Dick’ Reviews!

Raise your hand if you understand the innuendo in a title about Lindsay‘s bellybutton being close to her red carpet? Lower your hand if you don’t think it’s funny. Alright, that narrows it down to all of you. Now direct your eyes to this Motel 6 hooker dress, worn at the L.A. premiere of Liz & Dick.

What’s the most offensive thing about this? The holes in the front, or the visible hole in her stomach?

I’d say, at this point in her life, her bellybutton is the most appealing thing about her, but only because it’s an innie and I don’t see any Raisinets inside.

Here are some of the Liz & Dick reviews Lindsay Lohan won’t be readingContinue reading “Lindsay Lohan’s Bellybutton Walks The Red Carpet, Plus ‘Liz & Dick’ Reviews!”

‘Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23’ And Lena Dunham’s ‘Girls’ Are TV Gold

American Dad producer Nahnatchka Khan and Tiny Furniture writer/director Lena Dunham are the driving female forces behind two of the best new comedies of the past five years, ABC’s Don’t Trust The B—- In Apartment 23 and HBO’s Girls.

Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apt 23 stars Krysten Ritter and James Van Der Beek like you’ve never seen them. Ritter you may know as the drug-addicted girlfriend of Breaking Bad‘s Jesse Pinkman on. The role is more similar to the one she played in She’s Out Of My League, only twenty times more sarcastic and over the top.  Continue reading “‘Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23’ And Lena Dunham’s ‘Girls’ Are TV Gold”

Did Lionsgate Use Their Hunger Games Money To Pay Off ‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Critics?

The plot of The Cabin In The Woods isn’t something I can talk much about. I can say that the ending insulted my intelligence, that the acting was bad and the special effects worse. Oh, and it’s not scary. Still want to see it?

I can’t warn you enough that it isn’t worth the price of a movie ticket or even a plastic bouncy ball from the Dollar Tree.

You’ll know from watching the trailer that there are five typical horror characters here – the jock, the whore, the fool, the scholar and the virgin.

This group of college-age people travel up to a cabin, belonging to the cousin of jock Chris Hemsworth aka Thor, that is being heavily monitored by an unseen group, Hunger Games-style. It’s part Evil Dead, part Truman Show, part Thirteen Ghosts.  Continue reading “Did Lionsgate Use Their Hunger Games Money To Pay Off ‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Critics?”

Adam Sandler’s ‘Jack And Jill’ Reviews Are A Drag

On Friday, Adam Sandler’s latest comedy Jack And Jill wasn’t an easy over-the-top pill to swallow. In fact, the previews for the film featuring Sandler as himself and as his own sister, were more Scary Movie or SNL skit/spoof than reality.

Rotten Tomatoes had Jack And Jill receiving a 0% rating the day it came out, and later a 3% with critics saying things like “More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside.” (And that’s from Time Magazine)

Brian Orndorf said, “I’m not even sure this qualifies as a real movie,” with Rene Rodriguez of the Miami Herald interjecting, “Left to his own devices, Sandler reverts to his worst, laziest habits.” Key words from ALL reviewers = BAD, SWILL, UNFUNNY and SAD.

Continue reading “Adam Sandler’s ‘Jack And Jill’ Reviews Are A Drag”

Lil’ Wayne – Tha Carter IV Album Review

Lil’ Wayne‘s been at it since the late 90’s when he was 15 and in the rap group The Hot Boys. He a classic example of a musical workaholic, he needs the spotlight like Lindsay needs a fifth. It comes as no surprise that his latest Tha Carter IV was announced for release out of nowhere, when fans had not been expecting it for months.

The album was meant to come out at midnight, tonight after the MTV Video Music Awards, but was leaked onto various torrent websites a few days ago. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Weezy is no stranger to leaks, he’s been a favorite target for internet pirates since Tha Carter III, and everything in between…

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Game – The R.E.D. Album Review

Notable West Coast-revival rapper Game (formerly The Game) is the proud father of a fourth CD, his first since 2008’s LAX. With his tattoo-body advertising (Converse, Hurricane Shoes, Dodgers) multiple arrests and Grammy nominations, Game is looking to regain the spotlight, though perhaps it is a spotlight he never really had.

While he may have been certified platinum for his well-respected debut The Documentary, his level of recognition has not spiked since. He looks to do just that with The R.E.D Album, his first album to be released when he himself is not surrounded by controversy – whether it be assault charges, lawsuits or beefs with other artists. The question is, does he have “the game,” to be successful without all the non-musical hype?

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Hard-Fi – Killer Sounds Album Review

British rockers Hard-Fi are hardly known for originality, but then again neither are Kaiser Chiefs or The Bravery. It only means that they are easy to listen to, the word “fun” comes to mind. UK house parties, lager, whatever. Hard-Fi stepped foot onto the indie scene modestly with their 2005 debut Stars Of CCTV. (after the popular English news source)

They held attention spans firmly with songs like “Cash Machine” and “Living For The Weekend.” Lack of funds and everyday-man woes became a popular lyrical theme in their cymbal-happy post-punk revival. They’re now back with a versatile third album, Killer Sounds, which dropped in their native hierarchical land on August 19, 2011.

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The Sheepdogs – Learn & Burn Album Review

Subscribers of Rolling Stone magazine may have noticed an overwhelming amount of promos for their “choose the cover” contest that went on for several months. Out of 16 unsigned bands, The Sheepdogs, with their long hair and soulful guitar driven-folk came out on top. Over one and a half million votes were cast online and this Canuck foursome landed not only the cover of RS issue number 1137 on August 5th, but an even more significant prize, a contract with Atlantic Records.

Before their good fortune and talent won them this amazing opportunity, Sheepdogs were typical struggling artists. Lead singer Ewan Currie told Rolling Stone in their recent interview simply that, “Shit was bleak.” Fortunately their demo was submitted in consideration for the contest, and voila, here there are. The Saskatoon natives have already achieved what many bands could only dream of, appearing on late night shows like Jimmy Fallon and performing at Bonnaroo music festival.

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Hesher Is THE Underrated Indie Dramedy Of 2011

The opening scene of Hesher immediately has you asking questions, a kid on his bicycle, chasing a car that is being towed away. Is that a young Hesher? Why is he chasing the car? Is this movie even about what I think it is? Well, yes and no, it’s not about what you think, in fact the brilliance in Hesher lies in that it is not necessarily “about” anything. This is a reality, with a slight filter of misfortune or anguish. Why Hesher earned only limited release in the U.S. and a mere 55% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me. I instantly feel that this is a misunderstood movie, and want to jump to it’s defense much like Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character does for T.J., the young boy in the film, a classic victim of bullying played by Devin Brochu. (In The Valley Of Elah, Rubber)

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Liam Finn – FOMO Album Review

Liam Finn hasn’t quite achieved the respect or fame that he might deserve, though something tells me that might not bother him as much as other artists. He is the son of one of the best pop singers of all time (Neil Finn of Crowded House) but more importantly, he is a sturdy songwriter and studio perfectionist. Finn hails from New Zealand, has toured internationally for his first solo album, I’ll Be Lightning, and has just unleashed upon us his second shiny LP entitled FOMO.

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Cults – Cults Album Review

Remember these two names, firstly, Madeline Follin, second, Brian Oblivion. These are the sole members of a shy NY group called Cults, a group with a “cult” following sure to grow into a full-fledged mania of devout hipsters in no time. You can hardly throw a discarded walkman into the music world without hitting some new band who are adorably capable of recreating sensory 60′s euphoria. Among them are notables such as She & Him, Best Coast and The Raveonettes.

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The Japanese Popstars – Controlling Your Allegiance Album Review

Want to hear Robert Smith lending his vocals to a flawless electronic haze? Do you want an opening track that leaves an impression that is not only a memory but a physical dent in your brain? Do you want to forget about your mortgage, your kids, your sweaty overweight girlfriend, your college loans, your every vice and obstruction and lack of motivation? Fret not, sweet things, The Japanese Popstars have a cure for you.

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Arctic Monkeys – Suck It And See Album Review

Alex Turner and his band of miscreant monkeys of the Arctic have shown over the years their varied shades of fun, whether it be full force (“I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor”) thoughtful (“Fluorescent Adolescent”) or filled with James Bond twang (“Crying Lightning”) Arctic Monkeys have little left to prove to anyone. Their fourth effort, Suck It And See may cry out for attention in title but the songs beg to differ. This is actually their least flashy album to date.

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Cut Off Your Hands – Hollow Album Review

Auckland, New Zealand, City of Sails, home of the Sky Tower, various volcanoes and rugby. Not to mention the band Cut Off Your Hands, which I used to confuse with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and in turn Does it Offend You, Yeah? Both great indie bands in their own right, though out of the three, Cut Off Your Hands is the most relatable.

Singer Nick Johnston has more than just brooding good looks on his side, he’s got the versatile vocals to match. The soothing side of Robert Smith and the lighter side of Ian McCulloch, with that familiar but never tiring indie kick to it. Cut Off Your Hands are now on their second album, and first since 2008′s You and I. The sophomoric effort from this kiwi quartet, Hollow, is a step down in pace from You and I, though never a step down in quality.

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The Vaccines – What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? Album Review

Brand new onto the indie rock scene, The Vaccines, a four-piece hailing from London, debuted their very first album What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? on March 14th. A 33 minute long musical tapestry sure to land them on many prestigious top band lists of 2011. The Vaccines might be this year’s Phoenix, but they possess a less tightly wound style and it’s not hard to tell that their CD was recorded in only two weeks.

What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? Has a rough-around-the-edges punk quality, as if there was a large hole in the recording studio wall and a small fraction of the music drifted outside. Of course you can be sure this is not the case, sounds like this are largely intentional and wonderful.

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