GQ Made Julia Louis-Dreyfus Bang a Clown

Julia Dreyfus clown sexFirst of all, I want to applaud Time magazine for trying to write a serious piece about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “lust-filled embrace” with a shirtless clown.

While they chose the title “Clown Sex and the Rise of Funny-Naked Women,” Gawker went with the much more straightforward and attention-grabbing “Julia Louis-Dreyfus F*cks a Clown For GQ.”

It’s not too hard to imagine Louis-Dreyfus agreeing to this, seeing as it was for the Comedy Issue, listing her as one of the “15 Funniest People Alive,” and this picture is definitely funny.

What’s almost better is the photo of the aftermath. #ClownBaby

Dreyfus is on a roll lately, also causing a bit of a controversy when she posed for an April cover of Rolling Stone with words from the US Constitution tattooed on her nude body.

Latin Hottie Naya Rivera is Dying to be on the Radio

Naya Rivera RollingstoneGlee’s Naya Rivera is the hottest Latin girl, according to Rolling Stone, who put Naya on the flipside of November’s Lou Reed tribute issue.

Super bendy gumby woman from Glee tells RS that she hates going to sleep without her engagement ring from Big Sean (“My finger just feels naked”) and expresses her dreams of becoming a big hit on the radio once her debut album is released in 2014.

“Get on or get off. I think this is a summer song, and I want it on the radio by the end of the summer,” Rivera says of her label’s handling of the single  “Sorry” featuring Big Sean, which just got a lyric video.

Nothing against her voice or legs or anything (best character on Glee by far) but she seems like someone who will have a sex tape in about… oh, I dunno, three months? People that in love are always careless with their personal videos.

 

If You Only Read Two Tributes To Lou Reed…

Lou Reed black and whiteA hoard of celebrities, some of whom knew the late rock legend Lou Reed, who passed away on Sunday in Long Island after battling liver disease, and some who didn’t, have tweeted and blogged kind words acknowledging his legacy.

Out of all those words, including some by Morrissey, David Bowie and Reed’s bandmate, The Velvet Underground co-founder John Cale, the ones written by Metric’s Emily Haines and journalist Legs McNeil (Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk) touched me most.

“The first time I sang ‘Perfect Day’ for him, Lou said, ‘You have to bring more pain to it. You’re not singing about a fucking picnic,'” Haines, who collaborated with Reed on her latest albumwrote in a piece featured on Rolling Stone.

“In his last message to me, Lou wrote, ‘I’m so sorry Emily I would’ve if I could have but I’m a little under the weather but I love you,” she concluded in reference to a cancelled duet at Coachella.  Continue reading “If You Only Read Two Tributes To Lou Reed…”

Miley Featured in New Video and on Rolling Stone

Miley Cyrus macklemoreMiley Cyrus continues her jet-propelled moment as the most famous woman of the next few months by doing absolutely nothing and everything all at once.

From crying at the iHeartRadio festival to everyone wondering if “Wrecking Ball” is about missing the hammer of Hemsworth to a brand new video where she raps about being naughty and getting high  looking like a child bride that stole mommy’s scissors and took shelter in Lil’ Kim’s closet for just a few too many years.

She also made a surprisingly valid point about the VMAs in Rolling Stone this month:

“No one is talking about the man behind the ass. It was a lot of ‘Miley twerks on Robin Thicke,’ but never, ‘Robin Thicke grinds up on Miley.’ They’re only talking about the one that bent over. So obviously there’s a double standard.”  Continue reading “Miley Featured in New Video and on Rolling Stone”

Rolling Stone Put the Boston Bomber on the Cover Because He’s Young (Like You)

Boston bomber rolling stoneIn perhaps the worst, most distasteful PR move of this year, Rolling Stone magazine decided to run an issue featuring Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev – who, with his now-deceased brother, killed three people and injured nearly 300 using a homemade explosive in April – on the cover.

Rolling Stone’s editors have already said that they are committed to “serious and thoughtful coverage” of important political and cultural issues, arguing that Tsarnaev’s age makes him a prime candidate. From Facebook:

“The fact that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is young, and in the same age group as many of our readers, makes it all the more important for us to examine the complexities of this issue and gain a more complete understanding of how a tragedy like this happens. –THE EDITORS”

I think it’s pretty obvious why the definitive music magazine put him on the cover. Controversy = sales.

The tactic works, but there’s just no way to show that the face of a murderer can appear quite normal and non-threatening without also allowing future terroristic criminals to not only believe, but know that their face can one day be on the cover of a trendy and established magazine.  Continue reading “Rolling Stone Put the Boston Bomber on the Cover Because He’s Young (Like You)”

Jon Hamm Doesn’t Have a Sense of Humor About His Bulge and God Knows What Else

Jon Hamm RS Cover cropped 2013I don’t want to sound like an absolute Jon Hamm hater, because I think he’s funny on Saturday Night Live and good on Mad Men and his wife seems nice, but I can’t stand when people don’t recognize humor as a better defense mechanism than unadulterated grumpery.

Here’s Hamm, to Rolling Stone, taking first world problems to new heights:

“They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

This is like if Angelina Jolie came out and complained that her gold toilet’s heating mechanism malfunctioned and one of her 20 maids took maternity leave.  Continue reading “Jon Hamm Doesn’t Have a Sense of Humor About His Bulge and God Knows What Else”

Lena Dunham Discusses Sex OCD and Being Generational in Rolling Stone

Lena Dunham RS cropped

Last week, Lena Dunham told a well-behaved crowd at a Boston museum that the “I may be the voice of my generation,” line from Girls haunts her.

Also haunting her since the 2012 pilot of the show: criticism about the lack of diversity and of course, her body. Just last Sunday a corner of the internet exploded because of an episode (called “One Man’s Trash”) where Dunham, who dates .fun guitarist Jack Antonoff in real life, played naked ping-pong with a conventionally attractive older man played by Patrick Wilson. (Wilson’s wife jumped to Dunham’s defense on Twitter, listing her own flaws.)

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, comedian, writer, actress, and actual feminist Lena Dunham admits she doesn’t always feel “connected” to the twentysomething lifestyle.  Continue reading “Lena Dunham Discusses Sex OCD and Being Generational in Rolling Stone”

Rihanna Calls Chris Brown ‘A Mistake,’ Says She’ll Leave If He Hits Her Again

Rihanna Rollingstone 2013 Usually we read short paragraphs about Rihanna‘s relationship with Chris Brown in fairly spaced-out interviews.

Her latest, in Rolling Stone, is the anabolic-steroid version of that.

As in, MORE paragraphs about why Chris Brown is good for her which equals MORE hair-pulling from my side (and my “side” includes Lena Dunham, who doesn’t have very much hair to spare).

Former Wendy’s clown Rihanna says she’s positive that Chris Brown will never hit her again.

“He doesn’t have the luxury of f**king up again,” she tells RS contributing editor Josh Eells. “That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”  Continue reading “Rihanna Calls Chris Brown ‘A Mistake,’ Says She’ll Leave If He Hits Her Again”

Kimmel on Leno: ‘He Was a Master Chef Who Opened a Burger King’

UnknownJimmel Kimmel just dropped a bomb on fellow talk show host Jay Leno.

“As a comedian, you can’t not have disdain for what he’s done. He totally sold out. He was a master chef who opened a Burger King,” he says in the latest issue of Rolling Stone.

Kimmel’s idol, Howard Stern, has been laying into Jay for years without more than a peep of acknowledgment, so it’s unlikely that docile-bag-of-farts Leno will respond to this recent dig.

Also in the mag, Jimmy presents interviewer Jonah Weiner with “a vacuum-sealed baggie bulging with buds the size of baby Brussels sprouts.”

“If we smoke weed right now,” he asks, “is that on the record? I don’t know if I want this in the story, my kids are gonna read this.”

Kirk Hammett Talks Kurt Cobain’s Metallica Fandom

Lead Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett opened up about his friendship with Kurt Cobain in a recent Q&A with Rolling Stone‘s Greg Prato.

Is it true that the album cut “Whiplash” was Kurt Cobain’s favorite Metallica song?
Absolutely. He told me that himself. He came to one of our shows in Seattle, on the Black Album tour. I remember at one point, we were playing “Whiplash,” and he looked at me and kept punching the air with his fist, and gave me a big thumbs-up sign.I was like, “Cool. Kurt, I know you love this song. This one’s for you!” I knew Kurt kind of well, and I hung out with him quite a bit.  Continue reading “Kirk Hammett Talks Kurt Cobain’s Metallica Fandom”

Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada

I’m not aware of any law stating that Natives in Canada get gas free-of-charge, but apparently Justin Bieber is. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone he said,

“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough percent that in Canada I can get free gas.”

First of all, I would ask Rolling Stone to stop indulging him and putting him on the cover in white wifebeaters, but as a long time subscriber I cannot be surprised.

Over the years, they’ve put people like The Backstreet Boys, Snooki, and the cast of Glee + The Hills on their covers.

And Bieber must deserve the limelight, since he’s such a manly man.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada”

John Mayer Was Utterly ‘Humiliated’ By A Taylor Swift Song, Wimp Status: Confirmed (Still)

John Mayer told Rolling Stone that the song Taylor Swift wrote about him, 2010’s “Dear John,” made him feel like fly-covered shit.

“It made me feel terrible” he told the magazine“Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.”

“I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down.”

“I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?”  Continue reading “John Mayer Was Utterly ‘Humiliated’ By A Taylor Swift Song, Wimp Status: Confirmed (Still)”

Madonna Told LMFAO’s Redfoo To Work Out More

As an obsessive subscriber of Rolling Stone magazine since age 13, I scour each page and miss nothing. The most laughable and interesting thing I could find in the latest issue (the one with clam-owner/diver Paul McCartney on the cover) is a comment from Redfoo of LMFAO on Madonna.

RS: What went through your mind as Madonna was riding on your shoulders?

“I don’t know how many people were in the stadium, but they didn’t exist. All that existed was me and Madonna. In Rehearsal, she said, ‘If you were working out more, you could lift me a little easier.’ She was like, ‘Get a jump-rope.'”   Continue reading “Madonna Told LMFAO’s Redfoo To Work Out More”

George Clooney’s First Sexual Partner, A Rope

In Rolling Stone, issue #1144 starring coverboy/Ides Of March governor George Clooney, we learn that he had his first orgasm while climbing a rope in gym class.

“It was while climbing a rope when I was six or seven years old, I mean, nothing came out, but all the other elements were there. I remember getting to the top of the rope, hanging off the rope, and going, “Oh, my God, this feels great!”

Also, the secrets of his youthful spirit are mapped out. For instance, the words “Johnson” and “fart” never fail to draw laughter from the 50-year old actor/director/humanitarian,

Continue reading “George Clooney’s First Sexual Partner, A Rope”

Who The Hell is That Guy On The RHCP Rolling Stone Cover?

Fans of The Red Hot Chili Peppers know it’s certainly not John Frusciante, who left the band in late 2009, it’s their new lead guitarist, Josh Klinghoffer.

Klinghoffer looks extremely out of place on the Rolling Stone cover, and with the band in general, since he’s 31 years old, looks 24, with a creepy Tarantino-esque grin, he seems like he’d belong in a group like Modest Mouse.

Singer Anthony Kiedis, bassist Flea and Will Ferrell lookalike/drummer Chad Smith are all just under 50 years old. (48,48 and 49)

Continue reading “Who The Hell is That Guy On The RHCP Rolling Stone Cover?”