Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With A Tree, Blames Ecstasy

Thank you, Huffington Post and everyone else. “Actress Tried To Have Sex With A Tree” is officially the best headline of 2012 because it makes you want to read on AND it’s laugh-out-loud funny.

In her new book, Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering CatholicPlayboy favorite Jenny McCarthy writes about a time she took too much X in Hawaii and became turned on by everything, including the tree she used to hold herself up.

“The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping.” In another explanation of the affair, she tells Chelsea Handler:

“I took five at once, and I was rolling muh balls off.” Continue reading “Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With A Tree, Blames Ecstasy”

The Two Most Irritating Alarm Clocks Ever

We all have our alarm clock memories, getting up for school, ignoring the constant beeping reminder piercing your ear like tiny bullets. And what is the best alarm clock, if you had to choose between the many evils?

Digital, cell phone, ipod dock/CD combo, retro bell clock, rooster, crazy hobo in a dumpster outside your window? I have the two worst evils, worse than that talking flower from Sister Act. First there’s the Ramos clock which comes in 12 hardwood designs and encourages forces you out of bed to a Defuse Panel (that snazzy frame with the buttons) where you’ll have to enter a code.

Continue reading “The Two Most Irritating Alarm Clocks Ever”

Outkast’s Big Boi Arrested On Crazy Drug Charges

One part of Outkast was arrested today in Miami and charged with one count of paraphernalia possession and three counts of controlled substance possession. 36 year old Antwan Patton aka Big Boi was booked at about 1:30 pm  on a $16,000 bond, according to the Florida authorities.

The real juice here is the drugs he had on him, which were found by customs/border patrol dogs. MDMA powder (crushed ectascy) ecstasy tablets AND unprescribed viagra. Whoa. Boi likes to partyyyyy. Apparently while “rolling” with a boner. Ouch.

The contraband was found in his luggage. And his lawyer, Daniel Kane, already issued a statement on his client’s behalf:

“While Big Boi was traveling with his group and friends, a small amount of contraband was found in the collective luggage…I am confident when the entire facts are aired Big Boi will be completely exonerated.”

Hmmmm… Hopefully this won’t impact that new Outkast material with Andre 3000 we’ve been hearing about.