Kate Middleton’s Baby Broke the Internet and Also Her Uterine Wall

best William and Kate photosSo I was sitting with my mom in my apartment with CNN muted in the background while she checked her email, and upon glancing at the TV and seeing a segment on Kate Middleton’s labor, she goes, “People have been giving birth for centuries, what’s the big deal?”

As I watched her shake her head in that effectively unimpressed way that only a feisty mother can, I thought about how right she was.

Every time someone throws confetti and cigars and baby-proofing items at the sky lords just because some baby successfully slid out of some woman I lose my wings.

And that’s exactly who Kate Middleton is. Some woman. And Prince William is some man who shot a load into that specific woman making a human being that could either be a huge disappointment or a minor success in the form of someone who doesn’t cheat on his taxes or ignore elderly street-crossing ladies.  Continue reading “Kate Middleton’s Baby Broke the Internet and Also Her Uterine Wall”

‘American Idol’ Judge Fight, Round One – Nicki Minaj Vs. Mariah Carey

Nicki Minaj brought Queens, New York to American Idol during an audition in Charlotte where she said she refuses to put up with “her royal fucking highness” Mariah Carey, who she also calls “boring as fuck.”

See and hear it for yourself over at TMZ. There’s a partially audible video of Nicki going crazy, saying things like “if you say one more disrespectful thing to me … off with your head!” 

During an argument that began over a contestant’s performance in North Carolina, Carey’s cool-headed attitude only seemed to send Nicki into more of a full-force, highly escalated rage.  Continue reading “‘American Idol’ Judge Fight, Round One – Nicki Minaj Vs. Mariah Carey”