Rob Kardashian Not Invited to Kim’s Wedding?

Rob Kardashian airport missed weddingThe least important Kardashian was not present at his sister’s elegant Italian wedding due to reported “major family drama” just a few hours prior.

If I had to guess, I’d say Rob couldn’t afford to buy the two seats on the plane for himself, or that he just barely missed the doctor-approved second trimester of pregnancy… but fat shaming isn’t cool even when it’s a man, right guys?

We always remember that people of privilege have infinite access to personal trainers, but forget that they also have unlimited access to Pringles.

Also not able to make the wedding, Jay-Z, Beyoncé and fellow lesser-valued stock member of the Kardashian/Jenner Klan and Matthew Fox lookalike Brody Jenner.  Continue reading “Rob Kardashian Not Invited to Kim’s Wedding?”

Ben Affleck’s Sad Batman Needs a Lollipop and a Handful of Paxil

Ben Affleck first batman imageHoly black and white gimp suit! It’s Ben Affleck’s unmistakable chin cleft protruding out of a mask in the first official photo from Batman vs. Superman…

I’m not 100% sure what these two famous superheroes are fighting over besides money at the box office, but Bruce Wayne is sort of the Samantha Jones of Gotham, so I figure he’s speeding into Metropolis to throw Amy Adams in his trunk because she has a thing for guys who play Batman.

Yeah the logo on the chest is larger and looks more like the inkblot from Batman Forever, the ribbing on the stomach is completely different from Christian Bale’s caped crusader and the seams (some thought them to be veins) are also super pronounced, but I’d rather make fun of how emo and not-stoked-at-all about the Batmobile he looks.

This is not the face of Batman, this is the face of a teenage girl on My Super Sweet 16 whose parents got her a Kia.

Naked-For-Pay Teenage Mother Farrah Abraham Teaches a Valuable Lesson on Depression

Farrah Abraham sex tapeForget that incredibly meaningful and touching blog post by Allie Brosh about detachment! Porn sex tape star Farrah Abraham also knows a thing or two about depression.

“I have no relationships and I’m like, sad sometimes. So, taking all that into consideration, which some find it hard to, that’s what brought me here today,” she told Entertainment Tonight after being asked why she made a porno sex tape. “I felt this was my way of embracing my sexuality and being happy for me.”

She continued to say that she only took meetings with adult entertainment companies and released the porn tape herself because she was afraid the porn star she hired to bone her on camera (James Deen) was going to leak it without her permission.

Continue reading “Naked-For-Pay Teenage Mother Farrah Abraham Teaches a Valuable Lesson on Depression”

Whitney Cummings Gets Candid About The Criticism Towards Her Show

Whitney Cummings became a friend of the Howard Stern Show back in late 2008 after she gained notoriety for her Comedy Central roast jokes.

Since then she’s become the writer and producer of two shows, 2 Broke Girls and Whitney, one acclaimed, one heavily criticized.

Cummings appeared on Stern last week (I get a lot of story ideas from there because I’m a non-famous member of the wack packin a state of disarray (about the backlash towards Whitney) and honesty about her sister’s drug and alcohol addiction. When Howard expressed concern about her emotional state, the insult comic known for her tough-exterior nearly broke down in tears.  Continue reading “Whitney Cummings Gets Candid About The Criticism Towards Her Show”

Fall Out Boy Patrick Stump Is Broke, Skinny And Sad

Fall Out Boy lead singer Patrick Stump opened up about his fans, almost going bankrupt after his solo album and the success of the CDs Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree.

On his blog, he talks about the pain of being recognized for a recording made when he was so young and the “constant stream of insults” he endures now that he has just enough money to avoid bankruptcy.

He also opens up about the missuccesss of Fall Out Boy’s last album, Folie à Deux (“We were rotten vegetable targets in Clandestine hoodies”) and calls himself a 27 year old has-been.  Continue reading “Fall Out Boy Patrick Stump Is Broke, Skinny And Sad”