America’s Sweetheart Sandra Bullock Gets Oh So Bony for Halloween

Sandra Bullock halloween costumeSandra Bullock took her adorable son Louis trick or treating over the weekend. Him in a simple, store-bought cloth skeleton getup and her in this very elaborate winged Dia de los Muertos wedding dress complete with terrifying face paint.

They say there’s a first time for everything, like being scared of Sandra Bullock, which seems reasonable considering she looks like a Mexican version of The Crow.

I always forget which celebrities have Halloween spirit boners until October rolls around and they all pop out with their elaborate bazillion dollar outfits. With the exception of Heidi Klum, the quintessential evil German queen of  the damned.

P.S. I saw that blasted Carrie remake instead of Gravity and am regretting it. I thought I didn’t need to see Pillsbury spacesuit Sandra panicking in slow motion on the big screen, as if I needed to see a preppy daddy’s girl stab a pig. (The mom cuts herself, everyone dies. The end.)

Sandra Bullock’s New Best Friend Has a Suspiciously Small Head and Neck

Melissa McCarthy photoshop“Inseparable” new pals Sandra Bullock and her co-star Melissa McCarthy are roughly the same age, their kids play together and they “finish each other’s sentences, according to a profile in Parade.

“Normally after movies, those friendships go away,” says The Heat (and Bridesmaids) director Paul Feig, “Theirs blossomed.”

Sadly, if R. L. Stine’s How I Got My Shrunken Head had been about an itty bitty lima bean cabeza connected to a living, breathing human we’d have answers on what happened to Sandy’s new bestie on the UK poster for the buddy cop movie that hits U.S. theaters June 28.

As you can see, Melissa’s head looks drastically smaller than Bullock’s, her neck has been airbrushed and, as Buzzfeed pointed out, even her eye color is different due to Photoshop molestation.Melissa McCarthy photoshopped
As if our body issues weren’t already bad enough, industry bigwigs are giving actresses, models and singers digital plastic surgery on the daily if they’re not on a juice diet resulting in organ failure.

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-27-13]

Sandra Bullock toplessCheck out this mortifying photo of Sandra Bullock topless in the 90’s. (Messy Nessy Chic)

Helena Bonham Carter taking acting break to focus on motherhood. (Telegraph)

At the Super Bowl, Beyonce will sing 1 solo song, then 3 with Destiny’s Child. (Celebuzz)

Burt Reynolds moved out of intensive care unit after serious flu scare. (TMZ)

Fox News not renewing Sarah Palin‘s contract because she’s irrelevant? (Huffington Post)

Jodie Foster admits she’s fully “lesbica” in latest issue of Vanity Fair Italia. (ohmyGAHH!)

Teenager inspired to kill his mother and sister after watching Rob Zombie’s Halloween. (Radar)

Chelsea Handler Gets Naked With Sandra Bullock For New ‘Chelsea Lately’ Studio

Chelsea Handler has been talking up her move to a new studio (Conan’s old set from The Tonight Show) on the Universal Lot for several weeks now and that day finally arrived on October 15.

Her last episode in the old studio featured special appearances from rapping Gywneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz and Monday’s opening held another surprise –

Chelsea and Sandra Bullock in the shower. Bullock scolded Chelsea, slapping her and humiliated her with jokes about her bladder.

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“The Mindy Project” – Mindy Kaling’s On Screen Self-Masturbatory Fantasy

Mindy Kaling might have picked the right time to leave “the Office,” but her new show “the Mindy Project” is definitely a step in the wrong direction.

I am a raving fan of “the Office;” so much so that I am blinded by the most recent season’s absence of Steve Carell and I am willingly following the show into its ultimate death (I am thinking sometime in Spring 2013).

After last season wrapped, it was announced that even more long time collaborators would be leaving, including Mindy Kaling and Paul Lieberstein.  Kaling has gone off to Fox to do her own thing, which is apparently just one large self-masturbatory fantasy setting after another.  Continue reading ““The Mindy Project” – Mindy Kaling’s On Screen Self-Masturbatory Fantasy”

Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock Are Getting It On

Ryan was seen speeding off like a Green Lantern out of hell (below) on a Ducati, motorcycling to see Sandra at her home in LA this past Saturday.

They also spent the weekend together on a mini-vacation in Wyoming (left) two weeks ago.

Look, I have no idea if these two are dating, but they certainly are spending a lot of time together. I HOPE they are dating/boning and I assume they are because it just seems so right to me. For somebody who doesn’t know them at all, I have a lot of insight and wise words for them.

Like, “Don’t fall off your motorcycle and break your penis on your way to see Sandra Bullock…”

Continue reading “Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock Are Getting It On”