SNL Hires First Black Lady Cast Member Since Maya Rudolph

Sasheer ZamataSaturday Night Live finally filled the crazy void left by Maya Rudolph, who joined the cast all the way back in 2000 and left seven years later.

Lorne Michaels and Co. have officially hired their first African-American cast member since Rudolph.

Her name is Sasheer Zamata, a UVA grad who performed with the Upright Citizens Brigade and appeared on Inside Amy Schumer.

Before Rudolph, there were a staggering TWO other black women featured regularly on the show – Danitra Vance in 1985 and Ellen Cleghorne in 1991.

Surprising, since the show has featured a fair amount of notable black penis-having comedians like Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan and Eddie Murphy.

Judging by the below YouTube video tweeted by Lena Dunham (who called it “crazy funny”), I think this Sasheer lady is going to kill it. Continue reading “SNL Hires First Black Lady Cast Member Since Maya Rudolph”

Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy

Miley Cyrus tongue iheart radio
After reading an open letter from the woman whose song “Nothing Compares 2 U” inspired “Wrecking Ball,” Miley Cyrus subtly screenshotted tweets Sinead O’Connor wrote about finding a psychiatrist, posted a picture of her ripping the pope in half on SNL, and compared her to Amanda Bynes.

While O’Connor’s letter was intelligent and full of valid points, it doesn’t come off as entirely genuine. Publicizing the content of the message seems hypocritical, and it’s hard not to argue that she’s after the same publicity she repeatedly warns Miley of.  Continue reading “Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy”

FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE

Fred Armisen yeah yeah yeahs behind a tree Portland You see the man in the nondescript, green jacket with folded arms standing behind a tree and familiar Pacific Northwestern grey sky? That’s Fred Armisen, of  Portlandia, watching Har Mar Superstar open for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

My friend and I spotted the Saturday Night Live alumn in the far back, enjoying the show and posing for pictures with everyone that walked by, looked at him, and made that priceless “Oh shit” face of awe, happiness and surprise you make when you see Fred Armisen standing behind a tree like the normal person that he is.

For a while we just watched him and felt bad that he couldn’t enjoy himself, eventually speculating that maybe he was one of those tragically lonely celebrities who finds solace in talking to strangers who recognize him. After a 20-minute discussion, we did what any two assholes would and demanded a picture with him.  Continue reading “FRED ARMISEN BEHIND A TREE”

Jason Sudeikis Done With ‘Saturday Night Live’

Jason Sudeikis Olivia Wilde instagramJason Sudeikis announced that he is not returning to the upcoming season of Saturday Night Live so he can spend more time with his head buried inside of Olivia Wilde.

Other male cast members lost include Bill Hader and Fred Armisen. Seth Meyers will leave around the Holidays to prepare for his gig on NBC’s Late Night.

Variety wisely pointed out that Lorne Michaels, likely scrambling to find new blood, should consider hiring someone who is already recognizable to the public. I would make a suggestion but I have absolutely no clue who would take a pay decrease and a busier schedule for a shot at fame that they already have.  Continue reading “Jason Sudeikis Done With ‘Saturday Night Live’”

Just How Offensive are Kanye’s ‘New Slaves’ Lyrics?

Kanye West SNL 2013Kanye West performed two new songs from his upcoming album, Yeezuson Saturday Night Live last weekend.

One, “Black Skinhead” sounded oddly like a darker version of the non-Ke$ha rap part of Flo Rida’s “Right Round.”

The other, “New Slaves,” is Kanye’s hateful ode to capitalistic society, injustice, and the paparazzi.

For shock value, Kanye draws a few ridiculous comparisons to celebrity and slavery.

“I’ll move my family out the country so you can’t see where I stay, so go grab the reporters so I can smash their recorders” he sings.

CLICK FOR MORE about what a drag eating gold and owning flying ponies is….

Inanimate Objects (Like Kim Kardashian) Continue to Rival Kanye West’s Sense of Humor

Kanye West serious face
The reports about Kim and Kanye’s disintegrating relationship are super reminiscent of the constant flow of stories about Kris and Bruce Jenner falling apart. And they’ve been married how long? (22 years, since 1991.) Out of all the Kardashian sisters, Kim does have the worst track record in terms of longevity…

Maybe the tabloids are right this time. Maybe Kim is devastated because Kanye is absent all the time. Maybe Kanye really is having an affair with the guy who designed Kim’s Met Gala dress.

Maybe Kim cries cries maraschino cherry tears in bed as her baby daddy watches gay glory hole porn.

Let’s talk about what’s actually true. Kanye is appearing on the finale of Saturday Night Live with Ben Affleck tonight. It’s his fifth time as the musical guest. Here’s what he said at a recent concert in New York:

[I had a friend ask me, ‘Are you gonna go on] SNL and you’re going to do like a skit about the paparazzi and shit and like humanize yourself?’ I ain’t here to apologize to no motherf*ckers man. It ain’t about me humanizing myself. At what point did I become unhuman where I had to turn myself back?

Kim and Kanye serious faceThere are a few things that make celebrities impossible to like. Usually it’s a moral issue. Rape, murder and domestic abuse rank highest. (Reasons I hate Michael Vick, Mel Gibson and Chris Brown.) Sometimes it’s that they have a horrible personality (like Serena Williams, Justin Bieber, Amber Rose etc.).

Hell nah I ain’t doing no motherf*cking SNL skits, this my goddamn life. This ain’t no motherf*cking joke.

Most people dislike Kanye West because he’s pompous and has absolutely no sense of humor about himself (see above quote). Some overlook it because he’s a talented songwriter.

Think about the celebrities you find particularly enjoyable in interviews. They’ve probably heard of this thing called laughter. Emma Stone’s heard of it. Jennifer Lawrence. Justin Timberlake. Tina Fey…

Cancerous tumors are funnier than Kanye. F*cking rocks and blades of grass and tables from Ikea too.

If you’re thinking of something besides Kanye West at this exact moment – be it a funeral or a break-up or your drinking problem or your kid’s mood disorder – that thing is definitely more funny.

Seth Meyers Taking Fallon’s ‘Late Night’ Reins

Jimmy Fallon Seth MeyersSaturday Night Live writer and news guy Seth Meyers thanked Lorne Michaels (and his mother) on Twitter after he was confirmed as Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night replacement.

“So, next year I’m going to do this. Thanks to NBC, Lorne, but especially Mom,” he wrote, including a link to the NY Times article announcing the big move.

I like Seth Meyers. He’s very sharp on Weekend Update, but who exactly decided that Fallon’s sub had to be another SNL alumn? Is Fallon’s success, and the success of any other host, not a one-of-a-kind occurrence that has to do with individual talent?

Obsessing over his lack of versatility compared to his predecessor is pointless. He’s more comedic than Leno or Letterman, and presumably not much less in tune than Fallon, Ferguson or Kimmel. He’ll be fine.
Fallon and Meyers cheers gifStefon kissing Seth Meyers gif
Meyers is expected to stay on Saturday Night Live through the holidays, until early 2014.

SNL’s Kate McKinnon Dances With Ellen, as Ellen

Kate McKinnon Ellen showKate McKinnon stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday to impersonate Ellen in costume for her audience.

McKinnon, who just quietly celebrated her one-year anniversary as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, danced to Justin Timberlake’s “Suit & Tie,” fidgeted in her chair and mimicked her idol’s voice.

Earlier in the show, McKinnon told DeGeneres that she was a lifelong fan whose mother used to come up with schemes on how they could meet.

“I used to paint. I was an oil painter,” she disclosed. “And she would always say ‘If you would just paint a portrait of Ellen and send it to her, I’m sure that she would have you as a guest on the show.'”

Samberg, Timberlake, Aykroyd and Martin Blow Their Loads on ‘SNL’

It's a date snlAndy Samberg was greeted with hoots and hollers from the audience when he returned to the Saturday Night Live stage for a dating show skit with host, musical guest, and fictional husband Justin Timberlake.

“It’s a Date,” the follow-up to “Dick in a Box,” “Motherlover,” and “3-Way (The Golden Rule),” paired the sleazy R&B crooners with iconic foreign “wild and crazy guys” Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd. The duos competed for the affection of a woman who ends up blowing off the one normal contestant (Bobby Moynihan) for a tryst with all four socially inept horndogs.  Continue reading “Samberg, Timberlake, Aykroyd and Martin Blow Their Loads on ‘SNL’”

Dennis Rodman Wants Obama and Kim Jong-un to Bond Over Basketball

Dennis Rodman Kim Jong Un drinkingBROMANCE ALERT. Dennis Rodman is back from his trip to North Korea where he and the Harlem Globetrotters were allowed to meet with “lifelong” basketball fan Kim Jong-un, son of former nightmarish dictator (and butt of lesbian jokes) Kim Jong-il.

In an interview with George Stephanopoulos on ABC, Rodman, who seems to have picked up a Barbados accent during his travels, tried his hand at foreign affairs, pleading for the president to have a talk with his new best friend.

“He wants Obama to do one thing: Call him,” the five-time NBA championship ring-holder told Stephanopoulos, adding that Kim does not want to “do war.”  Continue reading “Dennis Rodman Wants Obama and Kim Jong-un to Bond Over Basketball”

Justin Bieber Sings, Flashes Abs and Makes Beliebers Laugh on SNL

Justin bieber abs SNL You know what the gym rats say. “Having abs because you’re skinny is like having big boobs because you’re fat.”

And it’s true. After a week of rehearsal, Justin Bieber brought his puny, effeminate Ken doll/Vanilla Ice lookin’ frame to Rockefeller Center for Saturday Night Live.

The monologue had me wishing Whoopi Goldberg, who made a cameo for Black History Month, had strangling-length dreads.

Here’s the issue. Justin didn’t try to be funny because he knows he doesn’t have to for his fans to say it was amazeballs. His mental and physical growth has been stunted by fame. Those vocals too. I mean, with that perma-cold, I could sing just as well.

Continue reading “Justin Bieber Sings, Flashes Abs and Makes Beliebers Laugh on SNL”

SNL Covers Claire Danes’ Wobbly Chin and Damian Lewis’ Voice in ‘Homeland’ Spoof

Yesterday’s episode of Saturday Night Live was mostly delightful partly in thanks to a parody (watch HERE) of Showtime’s CIA/terrorist thriller Homeland, which won three Emmys in September, including Best Drama.

Host Anne Hathaway presented us with a hilariously over-the-top caricature of Carrie Mathison, the highly intuitive but emotionally disturbed agent played by Claire Danes on the hit show.

Bill Hader acted as subtle Saul Berenson, while Taram Killam did an accurate voice portrayal of Mathison’s ginger nemesis and part-time lover, Damian Lewis.  Continue reading “SNL Covers Claire Danes’ Wobbly Chin and Damian Lewis’ Voice in ‘Homeland’ Spoof”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-7-12]

Fred Armisen is Daniel Craig’s very loving girlfriend on Saturday Night Live. (Hulu)

The next book J.K. Rowling writes will be for children. (BBC)

LeAnn Rimes show cancelled due to “massive infection” in her mouth. (Evil Beet)

So which political party does the evolution-is-a-lie-from-the-pit-of hell guy belong to? (Yahoo!)

Cissy Houston thinks $20 million dollars will kill Bobbi Kristina. (TMZ)

Iconic wrestler says Hulk Hogan has “grasshopper dick and raisin balls.” (Deadspin)

Swastikas are trending on Twitter because people think they’re funny and controversial?? (Gawker)

Ohio State’s marching band is very creative and geek-friendly. (Kotaku)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Spoofs ‘Magic Mike’

Tumblr is lighting up with GIFs of Joseph Gordon-Levitt‘s second visit to NBC Studios for Saturday Night Live because of a half-naked tribute to Magic Mike.

“You know what my favorite superhero movie of the summer was? Magic Mike. I’m serious, my friend Channing Tatum was so good in that…”  Continue reading “Joseph Gordon-Levitt Spoofs ‘Magic Mike’”

The Three Newest Additions To ‘Saturday Night Live,’ Tim Robinson, Aidy Bryant & Cecily Strong

Three new cast members are joining Kate Mckinnon (introduced April 7th, hilariously portrayed Helga Handler) on Saturday Night Live‘s season 38 premiering September 15th.

Chicago comedians Aidy Bryant and Tim Robinson (pictured left) and Cecily Strong (below) have big shoes to fill.

With Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg and Abby Elliott (Paul Brittain too, but who cares) absent, there’s always the possibility of remaining funny people like Vanessa Bayer, Bobby Moynihan, and Nasim Pedrad getting more screen time.  Continue reading “The Three Newest Additions To ‘Saturday Night Live,’ Tim Robinson, Aidy Bryant & Cecily Strong”

Andy Samberg Officially Not Returning To SNL For Season 38

Andy Samberg told The New York Times that, like Kristen Wiig, he will also not be returning to Saturday Night Live for season 38, which starts back up in September.

“It’s an incredibly emotional and strange moment in my life, obviously it’s not a huge shock, but I did officially decide not to come back,” he told a reporter via telephone. 

While he said it felt like one of the hardest decisions he’s ever made he also mentioned it being his time. “Something about it just feels like it’s the moment. My contract’s up and I did so much more than I ever thought I would ever even do.”  Continue reading “Andy Samberg Officially Not Returning To SNL For Season 38”

Awww, Rihanna Actually Was Sick

Last Saturday Rihanna was condemned by Lorne Michaels and SNL producers for missing dress rehearsal and being seemingly healthy in between performances during the live show. Turns out, the poor little dear really was sick.

She posted a picture of this IV in her arm after several of her followers expressed concern over her lack of timeline updates, the very same day she went to the Met Gala.

According to E! she had the flu accompanied by a fever and TMZ wrote that she was given a penicillin shot before SNL, which explains two things: why she didn’t completely collapse and the reason for the sluggishness and watery eyes.