Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it

You’ve probably heard the urban legend about mixing Pop Rocks and Coke, and that Pepsi is so acidic it can be used to remove rust and super-caked on grime on items that probably belong in the trash (since you’re considering dumping soda on them), but you’ve probably never wondered or seen what happens to Coca-Cola when you boil it for a few minutes.

YouTube user CrazyRussianHacker, known for videos of college-friendly “Life Hacks” like beer-stacking and Cheeto-eating techniques, showed us what a pot containing two 16 oz. bottles of Coke looks like after being on a stove top, and it’s pretty gross.  Continue reading “Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it”

America’s Sweetheart Sandra Bullock Gets Oh So Bony for Halloween

Sandra Bullock halloween costumeSandra Bullock took her adorable son Louis trick or treating over the weekend. Him in a simple, store-bought cloth skeleton getup and her in this very elaborate winged Dia de los Muertos wedding dress complete with terrifying face paint.

They say there’s a first time for everything, like being scared of Sandra Bullock, which seems reasonable considering she looks like a Mexican version of The Crow.

I always forget which celebrities have Halloween spirit boners until October rolls around and they all pop out with their elaborate bazillion dollar outfits. With the exception of Heidi Klum, the quintessential evil German queen of  the damned.

P.S. I saw that blasted Carrie remake instead of Gravity and am regretting it. I thought I didn’t need to see Pillsbury spacesuit Sandra panicking in slow motion on the big screen, as if I needed to see a preppy daddy’s girl stab a pig. (The mom cuts herself, everyone dies. The end.)

The New ‘Evil Dead’ Trailer Could Almost Make a Hardcore Horror Fan Cringe

Evil Dead demonNon-horror and horror fans alike have at least heard of the Sam Raimi’s 1981 directorial debut, The Evil Dead. Most would call its self-deprecating cult classic sequels, Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness, more memorable.

All starred Bruce Campbell as animated corpse-slayer Ash Williams, and all had moments of black comedy.

The restricted preview for the remake, produced by Raimi and Campbell and helmed by first-timer Fede Alvarez, is lacking the humor, but not the gore.  Continue reading “The New ‘Evil Dead’ Trailer Could Almost Make a Hardcore Horror Fan Cringe”

Trademarking Your Deformities

I’ve heard of insuring your body parts, J-lo’s big ass and Tommy lee’s penis but this story is absolutely atrocious.

According to Dlisted.com, The world’s ugliest basketball player, Anthony Davis, is reportedly trademarking his puke-inducing eyebrow/unibrow. I literally feel like crying when I see his ugly face, but that’s the power of a unibrow.

And he says, “I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”  Continue reading “Trademarking Your Deformities”

I Hope You Don’t Frighten Easily, Here’s Elizabeth Banks In ‘The Hunger Games’

 I didn’t know that creepy George-Washington-with-a-vagina woman who says “PRIMROSE EVERDEEN” in The Hunger Games trailer was Elizabeth Banks until I saw interview/clip confirmation on some talk show.

I’ve been waking up screaming the words “I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE” not even knowing that Elizabeth Banks, the crazy cute nympho from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, was the one giving me nightmares.

Continue reading “I Hope You Don’t Frighten Easily, Here’s Elizabeth Banks In ‘The Hunger Games’”

Jessie J Scares The Crap Outta Me

I read an article of the most infuriating songs of 2011 that actually infuriated me, not because I was reminded of terrible music but because they placed Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games” in second. I wanted to comment that they wasted time with Lana when they could have been including Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” but I was too busy noticing how scary Jessie J’s face looked in the pic they posted.

Continue reading “Jessie J Scares The Crap Outta Me”

Rihanna’s ‘We Found Love’ Vid Mirrors Chris Brown Romance?

Rihanna’s new video is here, you know, the one that got her kicked out of a field in Northern Ireland because some sensible farmer was like, “Hey there’s a half-naked lady and a camera crew squatting in my wheat crop, what’s up with that?”

And people (me) were wondering if she was dating that dude in the video, purse-lipped boxer/model Dudley O’Shaughnessy who plays her boyfriend in it. People (me) are now also wondering if perhaps this whole video is inspired by her rocky romance with Chris Brown.

Continue reading “Rihanna’s ‘We Found Love’ Vid Mirrors Chris Brown Romance?”

Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing

Everyone’s been talking about Lindsay Lohan‘s 17 year-old sister’s new look. Ali Lohan’s modeling portfolio has opened our eyes to the fears of “growing up.”

Or is it plastic surgery? Or maybe she just started eating more scarcely than Cinderella, and intentionally stopped plucking her eyebrows.

She looks like some sort of terrifying 95-pound waif-mannequin. Someone help her!

And whatever you do, don’t book her for any work! Nobody encourage this possibly UFO-abductee!…

Continue reading “Ali Lohan, Woolly Eyebrow Swamp Thing”

Is It Sick That I Like A Selena Gomez Song?

The other day I was listening to the radio (gasp) to be specific pop radio (double gasp) and I heard a song that I thought was catchy, so I tapped my foot and whatnot. Then at the end the announcer was like “…That’s the latest song from Selena Gomez, ‘Love You Like A Love Song.'”

Ouch. Even though it sounds like some Miley Cyrus single from Can’t Be Tamed and she looks like a tall version of one of those Toddlers & Tiaras children, with her perm and multi-colored eyeshadow, I kinda of liked it. A LITTLE BIT! Not a ton.

Continue reading “Is It Sick That I Like A Selena Gomez Song?”

Octomom’s Octobelly

Nadya Suleman, better known as the “octomom,” the one I really shouldn’t even be talking about due to the fact that she seems to revel in publicity, but these pictures can not go undiscussed or unseen. Well, they easily could, but I’m sick and I like to torture people…

Ms. Suleman is the proud mother of 14 children overall, so in all honesty this isn’t the worst thing I could imagine. Evil Beet mentioned it looking like Voldemort’s face (slit nose) and not only do I agree but I have a message for all potential mothers out there…

EVEN IF YOU ARE SKINNY, YOUR BODY IS GOING TO GET FUCKED THE FUCK UP.

Continue reading “Octomom’s Octobelly”

I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY

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Check out the scary scary slideshow (above) of random juggalos and juggalettes, and some of the performers at the event….

The annual Gathering of The Juggalos took place on August 11, 2011 in Illinois, and I cannot emphasis enough how terrified I am of these people.

It’s not like I sit in my house shivering, waiting for a bunch of painted-clown face wiggers to bust into my house and kill me. They’re just so weird, and beyond my sense of reality. I could say I don’t know what goes through their fumigated heads, but it’s simple. Beer. Clowns. Music. Beer. Tits. ICP.

This year a wonderfully varied group of characters performed at the festival, such as Lil’ Jon, Ice Cube, the other ice: Vanilla, MC Hammer, Dustin Diamond, Ron Jeremy, Xzibit, Tech N9ne, Flavor Flav, Juvenile, George Clinton and of course the founders of the festival, Insane Clown Posse.

Continue reading “I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY”

I’ve Had It With These Motherfuckin’ Bats On This Motherfuckin’ Plane!

Last Friday, August 5th, on a Delta Airlines Flight from Wisconsin to Georgia, a bat snuck its way on a plane and flapped its Nosferatu-self up and down the aisles as several of the 50 passengers on board swatted at it with what I assume to be rolled-up copies of Delta Sky Magazine. Passenger Mike Schmidt managed to capture the above video of the bat’s short-lived plane adventure.

The bat was eventually trapped in the bathroom by passengers on flight 5121, from Madison to Atlanta. The real clincher is, the plane was searched and apparently, the bat was never found. So it could totally happen again, to you, dun dun dun.

Continue reading “I’ve Had It With These Motherfuckin’ Bats On This Motherfuckin’ Plane!”