‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts

Chris Evans snowpiercer still If you haven’t seen Snowpiercer yet, you need to, immediately. Here’s what it’s about, in case you saw it on one of those Best of 2014 lists and were still on the fence….

Basically, in the future – 2031 to be exact – the human race has decided to release a chemical into the atmosphere to cool the climate, but it works too well and freezes everything and the last few remnants of mankind are stuck on a train that circles earth once a year.

It’s based on a French graphic novel (Le Transperceneige), and is basically a much grittier, gorier South Korean version of The Hunger Games, except on a train.

With Chris Evans as Katniss (or Princess Elsa), Jamie Bell as Peeta, Tilda Swinton as Effy, and Ed Harris as President Snow. HUNGER TRAIN!
Frozen arm snowpiercer
The train circles the earth once a year and works on a horribly unfair class system, with the people at the back of the train eating roach protein and getting their arms frozen off and broken with sledgehammers by the rich sushi-eating folk at the front when they misbehave.

Brooding dude in a beanie Curtis (Captain America) decides to do something about it and break through the security gates to take control of the “eternal engine” with the help of an imprisoned drug addict and his clairvoyant daughter.  Continue reading “‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts”

Scarlett Johansson Kicks Ass in ‘Lucy’ Trailer

Lucy, from Luc Besson (The Fifth Element), starring Scarlett Johansson, is action-packed and intriguing despite sharing a lot of plot points with the ultra sh*tty Bradley Cooper movie Limitless, about brain power…

After mobster types implant “a bag of drugs” in her stomach, ScarJo kicks mo’ better ass than Black Widow and starts asking questions of a certain freckled scientist (Morgan Freeman) about her newfound abilities.
  
It makes me immensely happy to see ultra bubbly/charismatic Analeigh Tipton, who appears briefly in the trailer as a friend of Lucy’s, of America’s Next Top Model (and then Crazy, Stupid, Love, Hung and Warm Bodies) getting so many roles.  Continue reading “Scarlett Johansson Kicks Ass in ‘Lucy’ Trailer”

Game of Thrones’ Dragon Tamer Emilia Clarke to Play Sarah Connor

Emilia Clarke brunette leather jacketEmilia Clarke beat out Brie Larson (United States of Tara, 21 Jump Street) for the coveted (but possibly cursed) role of Sarah Connor in Terminator 5.

The movie, listed as Terminator: Genesis on IMDb and set to hit theaters in 2015, will be directed by Alan Taylor, who also directed six episodes of Game of Thrones including the Clarke-heavy dragon-reclaiming season two finale.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Emilia Clarke on Thrones, but I don’t remember Sarah Connnor being so damn cute. This is the toughest-looking photo of her and there is literally a man holding an umbrella over her head.

In other GoT news, Telltale are making a Game of Thrones video game series in the vein of their acclaimed Walking Dead chapters for PC, Xbox 360 and PS3.  Continue reading “Game of Thrones’ Dragon Tamer Emilia Clarke to Play Sarah Connor”

Sorry Jenna Dewan, But Channing Tatum is the White Devil

channing tatum albino In the upcoming Wachowski Brothers’ flick, Jupiter Ascending, due summer of 2014 (because it’s sci-fi and sci-fi takes foreverrrr *cough* *cough* Avatar *cough* Prometheus), our boy Channing Tatum plays a knee pad-wearing assassin cross between a wolf and a human who also happens to be an albino…

This is the only time I’m ever going to bring up The Matrix Reloaded, ever, but if you remember, the Wachowskis utilized a set of 50% bald white Stevie Wonder lookin’ motherfuckers in that too, which had me wondering….

Why are there more albinos in the future? Does that mean there’s hope for me?

Also, is there hope for this movie, or Jenna Dewan if he still looks like that in the bedroom during filming?

Trailer: Elysium

I saw a million trailers before Man of Steel (including one for Gravity a.k.a. Sandy Bullock and George Clooney lost in space), and one of the more interesting ones was Neill Blomkamp’s Elysium. 

In interviews, the Canadian director describes his latest film, starring Jodie Foster and Matt Damon as two people on opposite spectrums of the class system, as “three times bigger” than his previous film, District 9.

Blomkamp also promises that he has not lost his edge or storytelling ability with the bigger budget.
Matt Damon Elysium poster tallMatt Damon robot Elysium poster
“Even though it cost $100 million, it should look like a $200 million film,” he tells the Wall Street Journal. “It should be punching significantly above its weight. The same way “District 9″ looked more than it cost $30 million. They both operate by the same principle.”  Continue reading “Trailer: Elysium”

BBC America’s ‘Orphan Black’ is the Show You Probably Aren’t, But Should Be, Watching

Helena Orphan BlackAdding new TV shows to your routine can be difficult with Nurse Jackie premiering tonight, Game of Thrones going strong and Dexter returning for its final season in June, but I highly suggest that you make time for just one more.

Orphan Black revolves around Sarah, a down and out “punk” who takes on the identity of another woman after witnessing her suicide.

The very British Sarah, played by the brilliant Tatiana Maslany, becomes Beth, a well-off Toronto police officer who was physically identical to her. Things get complicated when Sarah discovers there are others like her and Beth, and that someone wants them all dead.

Fitting loosely into the “sci-fi” category, Orphan Black is the perfect blend of suspense, mystery, comedy and action. Tune in to BBC America, Saturdays at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT.

‘Cloud Atlas’ is a Box Office Flop In Third Place

With a budget of $100 million, Andy and Lana Wachowski better hope their film, Cloud Atlas, makes more money in “another world” or life, because it came in third in its opening weekend and grossed a disappointing $9.4 million.

The complicated sci-fi flick, which features “six narrators spanning the globe and the centuries,” was beat by fellow R-rated drama Argo (in its second week), and PG children’s movie Hotel Transylvania.

Alt Film Guide reports that Cloud Atlas is Tom Hanks’ lowest weekend grossing film since 1986’s Nothing in Common, blaming “weak word of mouth” and a “disjointed plotline.”  Continue reading “‘Cloud Atlas’ is a Box Office Flop In Third Place”

People Don’t Like To Pirate Realistic Movies

The top ten most pirated BitTorrent movies list has been revealed and eight of the ten movies fall under the sci-fi or fantasy category, proving that besides Jersey Shore, reality is a drag.

Avatar, The Dark Knight and the original Transformers topped the list, no surprise, while The Departed and Kick-Ass shockingly inched their way in. Swedish Pirates Of The Torrent Cam: At Wit’s End also made it, at the coveted lowest position.

Here is the list…

Continue reading “People Don’t Like To Pirate Realistic Movies”