Scientology Really Did Ruin Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ Marriage, In Case There Were Any Doubts

Katie holmes afraid of tomWhen Tom Cruise was asked in court if Scientology was “one of the reasons” Katie Holmes divorced him, he reportedly said “That was one of the assertions, yes.”

But, since he’s still a Scientologist and finds all lines of questioning that in any way paint Scientology in a bad light super offensive (just as I find religions that are under 60-years-old super offensive), he is also quoted as saying “there is no need to protect my daughter from my religion.”

And I guess that’s sort of true since there aren’t a lot of children’s book about the power of Xenu’s silver booty shorts and hypnotizing lazer eyes. Or are there?

I haven’t been to that Church in awhile. Last time I was there I took a gem off the wall and sold it for a mansion and a helicopter and I think I may replaced Katie as their number one target. #DangerZone

Kristen Stewart and Tom Cruise are the Shiftiest Minxes in Hollywood

Kristen Stewart frustratedKristen Stewart is the quiet girl in the corner who scribbles your name in a death note, according to a Reader’s Digest poll that required 1,000 people to vote on which actors and actresses they trust the least.

Tom Cruise, the whacky homeschooled boy who befriends you so he can probe your ass with pointy alien artifacts, also topped the list of untrustworthy names in Hollywood.

In the realm of meaningless popularity contests that I don’t trust, I’d say this list ranks pretty high.

Not trusting someone because of their religion is like not trusting someone because they’re gay. Worried Tom Cruise will jump on a sofa and lure you into his spaceship? How about you just NOT become a Scientologist.

Kristen Stewart was hated long before she cheated on Robert Pattinson. She’s a monster because she’s shy, can’t walk in heels, and has been known to complain about fame.

Why the f*ck isn’t Mel Gibson on this list? He’s racist, sexist and anti-semitic…  Continue reading “Kristen Stewart and Tom Cruise are the Shiftiest Minxes in Hollywood”

John Xenu Travolta Heals Broken Bones With Magic Scientology ‘Assist’

John Travolta angelJohn Travolta tells Celebrity Magazine that he helped a man in China who had broken his ankle in a car crash. Here’s where it gets interesting. Travolta performed an “assist” to speed up the healing process.

It involves Scientology, giving another man a rubdown AND it’s like that movie Michael. You know, the one where he’s an unconventional angel who brings dogs back to life?

“I was in Shanghai recently at a work event and the Master of Ceremonies’ best friend had recently gotten into a car wreck. He had broken his ankle and was in constant pain,” he revealed in an article brought to light by Celebuzz called “John Travolta: Stayin’ Very Alive.”  Continue reading “John Xenu Travolta Heals Broken Bones With Magic Scientology ‘Assist’”

Church Of Scientology Held A Secret ‘Wife Audition’ For Tom Cruise

A source has revealed to Vanity Fair that Nazanin Boniadi, an actress who had a small part in Iron Man and a more significant one in How I Met Your Mother, was part of an elaborate search held by the Church of Scientology to find Tom Cruise a wife.

Boniadi dated Cruise from 2004 to early 2005, before he was linked to Katie Holmes, and after Penélope Cruz.

The article explains that she was forced to sign a confidentiality agreement, change her appearance, and share intimate details of her personal life with church leader David Miscavige and his wife Shelly. Continue reading “Church Of Scientology Held A Secret ‘Wife Audition’ For Tom Cruise”

Katie Holmes Believes The Church Of Scientology Is Spying On Her

Mysterious vehicles have been spotted outside of Katie Holmes‘ New York apartment that she has been staying at for the last few weeks.

She believes they belong to representatives of The Church Of Scientology.

Others (paparazzi) say the cars, a black SUV and a white Cadillac Escalade, could be occupied by people from the press looking for anything that they could call a story.

Rumor has it one of Holmes’ reasons for divorce was to prevent six-year-old Suri from being further exposed to the religion. But what would Scientologists gain from these spying excursions?

Are they going to kidnap her and force her to take back her request for sole custody?

Continue reading “Katie Holmes Believes The Church Of Scientology Is Spying On Her”