scratch – The Twist Gossip

Amanda Bynes Plays Nice With A Photographer

Just two days after telling People that she’s “doing amazing,” never drinks, and is moving to New York for a career in fashion, Amanda Bynes is being accused of scratching a photographer.

An eyewitness told E! that it happened around 6 p.m. outside a Mexican restaurant in West L.A. Video obtained by ET shows Amanda repeatedly putting her hands up after an especially aggressive member of the paparazzi started flashing his camera at her.

After trying to convince him to delete some of his photos, saying things like “Let’s get along, I like your shirt” and “You have delete that one of my face… I have to look beautiful” (I’m not making this up, watch the video), she runs away. Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Plays Nice With A Photographer” →

Humor, Videos

Funny Video: Lion Tries To Eat Baby

You might be saying to yourself, ‘Why, Ms. Madenski, a vicious African predator trying to disembowel a child is no laughing matter!” And I would say, YEAH IT IS. And I wasn’t the one who originally thought that, the kid’s parents did.

And look at the little guy, mocking the lioness, safe and sound. I actually feel bad for her, she’s the one who’s hungry and taunted. This all went down at Washington Park Zoo, a place I’ve frequented hundreds of times in my hometown of Portland, Oregon. Continue reading “Funny Video: Lion Tries To Eat Baby” →

Animals, Humor

My Cat Is Preparing Me For A Satanic Ritual

You see that red “X” on that hideous pasty highway of veins and moles? That’s my arm and a mark of the beast, put there by my closest confidant and abusive advisor, Raisin, the 18 pound wonky-eyed Siamese.

Obviously he’s put this scratch on my skin as a sort of map for the occult. A place to bury a microchip, store a Friskies treat, or insert the adamantium.

It also looks like I’ve been indulging in some form of self-mutilation.

If I ever left the house, people would see this and feel sad as they picture me sitting at home teary-eyed watching muted Ahh Bra infomercials with a tack to my flesh.