The First Episode of ‘Bates Motel’ Was INSANE

If you haven’t seen the season 2 premiere of Bates Motel then only read further if you’re a spoiling sack who reads the last pages of books and told every Game of Thrones viewer in advance about the Red Wedding and those late to the Friends and Dawson’s Creek bandwagon that Monica and Chandler get together and that Joey and Dawson never do.

Anyway – despite having the curse of being based on one of the best horror movies of all time and appearing on the Regal First Look – Bates Motel was really surprisingly great last year and the episode “Gone But Not Forgotten” proved that it’s still great in 2014.

The Bates family are up to their usual hijinks after the not-so-mysterious death of Norman’s teacher.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Strips on Top of a Warehouse For ‘The Client List’

Jennifer Love Hewitt I'm a womanTo remind everyone that her last name alphabetically comes before “Lopez,” “Lawrence” and “Hudson,” Jennifer Love Hewitt filmed a very steamy promo/music video for season 2 of The Client List. 

Oh how this brings me back to 1999, when Hugetits could sustain a spot on the Billboard Hot 100 by throwing on a wifebeater and propping herself up next to a car after not washing her hair for six days. I’m talking about the video for her song “How Do I Deal,” of course. Like Tyra Banks and Heidi Montag, J-Love has always kept a music career in her back pocket. (Her songs were only slightly more ear friendly, in a LeAnn-Rimes-on-the-Coyote Ugly-soundtrack sort of way.)  Continue reading “Jennifer Love Hewitt Strips on Top of a Warehouse For ‘The Client List’”

‘Jersey Shore’ Series Finale Means More Spinoffs For Snooki, JWoww, Vinny and Pauly

Snooki and Jwoww season 2The 71st and final episode of Jersey Shore aired on Thursday, Dec. 20 and means the beginning of the end of eight careers, a process that is set in motion by MTV spinoff shows for the more marketable cast members.

A trailer for Control The Crazy author and Jersey Shore Shark Attack star Vinny Guadagnino’s “hybrid talk/reality series” called The Show With Vinny aired during the reunion.

The sneak peek revealed that celebrities (like Lil’ Wayne) will be embarrassed by his uncle Nino joining him and his crazy family for dinner in Staten Island.  Continue reading “‘Jersey Shore’ Series Finale Means More Spinoffs For Snooki, JWoww, Vinny and Pauly”

Five Creepy ‘American Horror Story’ Promos

Now that we know sparse details about Ryan Murphy’s second season of American Horror Storythere are also five 10 to 20 second promos. They will ultimately get the fans excited, but have little to do with the show.

Personally, I’m more interested to see if Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk can get away with changing the location from a haunted California mansion to an insane asylum on the East Coast.

Jessica Lange’s new role as an administrator of the institution could also make the show.

Horror Story resonates for people because it is wildly unique, despite its many flaws. Murphy put television in a vice with FX’s Nip/Tuck, Glee (who knew a 45 minute musical could get ratings), and now this.  Continue reading “Five Creepy ‘American Horror Story’ Promos”

Jessica Lange Will Play A Nun With A Fienne Boyfriend On ‘American Horror Story’

Earlier this year American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy revealed his plans to change up the location and time period for season two, and that some characters would be returning (Lange, Peters, Quinto) and that some (Britton, McDermott, Farmiga?) would not.

More details on your favorite show about ghosts (because there are none besides the ones on Syfy of guys with night vision cameras, jangling teeth, and cold breath) have emerged…  Continue reading “Jessica Lange Will Play A Nun With A Fienne Boyfriend On ‘American Horror Story’”

‘Lip Service’ Is L Word UK, But Without All The Man-Hating

Fans of Showtime’s now-defunct The L Word (and there are many, gay and straight) would do well to check out BBC Three’s Lip Service which focuses on the lives of three lesbians in Scotland.

Like The L Word, it centers mainly around the romantic and business aspects of these women.

Unlike The L Word, the main characters actually have male friends who, instead of being demonized versions of the gender, are as equally flawed as their female counterparts.  Continue reading “‘Lip Service’ Is L Word UK, But Without All The Man-Hating”

Who Has What It Takes To Win ‘The Voice?’

I became obsessed with The Voice last season, when the show was in its beta phase. When they didn’t anticipate enough rejections in the blind auditions, and cast members had to re-audition to fill spots.

The show is still flawed, battle rounds pit too good of foes against one another, causing people who might have won to go home early. Angie Johnson versus recently axed Cheesa was one of those times.

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Total Eclipse Of The Divas, ‘The Voice’ Battle Rounds Begin!

After five fantastic never-grueling rounds of blind auditions, season two of The Voice (or, as one blogger called it, “DID YOU KNOW UGLY PEOPLE CAN SING, TOO?”) has progressed the ever-so-difficult Battle Rounds.

Difficult because the pairings are sometimes mismatched due to singing style or talent. Monday night’s episode had two battles where each of the four contenders were so good that they could have won American Idol in a snap.  Continue reading “Total Eclipse Of The Divas, ‘The Voice’ Battle Rounds Begin!”

How Not To Get A Zombie Out Of A Well, By ‘The Walking Dead’

In “Cherokee Rose,” episode four of The Walking Dead season two, we learn a very valuable lesson, exactly what not to do when there’s a zombie stuck in your well. And, since I encounter this dilemma nearly every day, I figured I’d write down the anti-instructions.

Step One: Nearly forget to check your water source before drinking from it. At the last minute, notice shirtless mongoloid closed-eye fatty boom boom walker at bottom, poisoning your tap fluids.

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