‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)

I don’t condone book burning, unless it’s the Fifty Shades Of Grey series. 

If I had Tyler Shields’ photography skills and a camera worth more than $150 dollars I would buy several copies just so I could take photos of myself ceremoniously tossing them into a massive bonfire.

I’m not supportive of E.L. James and her “talent” for writing erotic novels. Novels about the two worst examples of each gender – people who I would personally shoot on sight if they weren’t fictional.

Christian Grey, who was abused as a child and now does nothing but sexualize a woman (Anastasia Steele) feels oppressed by the fact that she’s allowed to vote and work someplace other than a brothel.  Continue reading “‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)”

Even Though She Has A Baby, Bristol Palin Is Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex

Sarah Palin’s daughter had her son Tripp at the age of 17 and now she’s swearing off sex until the man of her dreams gets on his knees and slips a ring on her finger… and hopefully a Trojan on himself. She told In Touch:

“I’m doing what’s best for me. It’s between me and God, and I know it’s right. My sister Willow is 17, and when I was her age, I was eight months pregnant, and I look at her and I think, ‘Holy cow, I was just a baby!’ I don’t care what your background is — it’s so hard.”

The world needs less Palins, Romneys and Bachmann. Bristol‘s current boyfriend, Gino Paoletti, is apparently completely out of luck, or in luck, depending on how you look at it.

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Crouching Geisha, Hidden Cash – Zhang Ziyi Earned $110 Million Over The Years, For Sex?

What sounds like (and has to be) a completely bogus rumor has been circulating about Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi.

The woman who starred in a slew of popular movies from 2000 to 2005, including Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2, House Of Flying Daggers and Memoirs Of A Geisha has been accused of being a VERY high paid escort.

Boxon.com and the Hong Kong gossip paper Apple Daily wrote that the actress was paid over $1 million U.S. dollars a night to sleep with politician Bo Xilai.

The defamation continues with her amassing a legendary $110 million over the past five years for sleeping with various high-profile government officials.  Continue reading “Crouching Geisha, Hidden Cash – Zhang Ziyi Earned $110 Million Over The Years, For Sex?”

Another Raunchy Puppet Movie, ‘The Happytime Murders’

I’m sure nothing can beat the horny marionettes of Team America: World Police BUT there may be something in 2013. An empty hole you unsuccessfully tried to fill with The Muppets reboot starring Jason Segel, who is not making a sequel, opting for “human-related projects.”

The Jim Henson Company (The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, The Witches) currently has four movies in development one of which is a “puppet-noir” movie called The Happytime Murders about a world where puppets co-exist with people as second class citizens.  Continue reading “Another Raunchy Puppet Movie, ‘The Happytime Murders’”

‘Glee’ Episode ‘The First Time’ Causes Teen Sex Panic

The Tuesday, November 9th, episode of Glee on Fox focused on the deflowering of two couples, straight pairing Rachel (Lea Michele) and Finn (Cory Monteith) and the not-so-ambiguously gay duo, Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine. (Darren Criss)

The allegedly controversy sex scene took place at the very end of the show and was actually extremely tame. I’ve seen worse sex scenes on The O.C., Degrassi and even The Vampire Diaries. And by worse, I mean, not a big deal at all.

Continue reading “‘Glee’ Episode ‘The First Time’ Causes Teen Sex Panic”

Beyonce’s Loudmouth Friend Reveals The Sex Of Her Baby

The sex of Beyonce’s fetus diva has officially been disclosed! This top secret information comes to us via – DUN DUN DUN – a close personal friend of Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Why are people’s “close friends” always giving the press spoilers and handing out top secret information as if it were poisoned candy corn on All Hallow’s Eve?

Either they’re not their real friends or they’re starved for cash because their famous acquaintances hoard cash in a room the size of Madonna’s organic food cupboard, errr house.

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Skydiving Sex Is Illegal Now??

The FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) has officially banned mid-air skydiving sex after an incident in Kersfield, CA possibly caused a small plane to crash land. (The pilot and his three passengers were safe)

Part-time skydiving instructor and porn star, Alex Torres, was fired from Skydive Taft after having sex with the receptionist, Hope Howell (ho-well?) in a separate plane, and also in the air! (NSFW pics ahead)…

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Thomas Jane Had Gay Sex, Realized He Wasn’t Gay

Hung/Punisher star Thomas Jane told The L.A. Times that as a young man he wasn’t opposed to trading sexual favors to same-sex partners for sandwiches and cash.

“As James Dean said, you’re going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don’t accept people’s sexual flavors. When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless. I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car. I was 18. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?”

Soon after this revelation, Jane, who has been married twice before (once to Patricia Arquette) mentioned that he had to sample the goods, to know for sure that he wasn’t interested…

Continue reading “Thomas Jane Had Gay Sex, Realized He Wasn’t Gay”

Nick Cannon Whacks It To Mariah Songs, Wants Scientist Children

Mariah Carey‘s husband, D-list actor/musician Nick Cannon has been put his hoof in his mouth for the millionth time.

This week, he talked to People Magazine about a potential career for his children, and spoke to the radio show Mojo In The Morning about his “special moments” with his wife’s music.

Mojo: When you guys get intimate with each other…Have you ever listened to one of her songs or one of your songs?…

Continue reading “Nick Cannon Whacks It To Mariah Songs, Wants Scientist Children”

Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock Are Getting It On

Ryan was seen speeding off like a Green Lantern out of hell (below) on a Ducati, motorcycling to see Sandra at her home in LA this past Saturday.

They also spent the weekend together on a mini-vacation in Wyoming (left) two weeks ago.

Look, I have no idea if these two are dating, but they certainly are spending a lot of time together. I HOPE they are dating/boning and I assume they are because it just seems so right to me. For somebody who doesn’t know them at all, I have a lot of insight and wise words for them.

Like, “Don’t fall off your motorcycle and break your penis on your way to see Sandra Bullock…”

Continue reading “Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock Are Getting It On”