Chelsea Gets Nude in the Shower with Ellen

Ellen chelsea showerChelsea Handler is making a big, well-publicized move from E! to Netflix for a reported $10 million.

For her final sendoff on E! Chelsea displayed ultimate raunch levels during a more hit-than-miss shower scene with Ellen DeGeneres where Ellen wonders why she’s never been asked to appear on the show and Chelsea pretends to not know Ellen’s sexual orientation while bouncing up and down naked in front of a million cameras like a porn star without the risk of infection.

Later, Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock and 50 Cent appeared along with Miley, Selena Gomez and Gwen Stefani for an intervention and some live music, because what’s more likely to get ratings than awkward nudity and oodles of celebrities? Continue reading “Chelsea Gets Nude in the Shower with Ellen”

George Bush Hacker Leaks Dubya Bath and Shower Pics

george bush painting Did I say “bath and shower” pics? Because I mean drawings. Sorry, sickos. To the left is an actual photo of George Bush THE ARTIST.

Naked George Jr. by camera may be more “valuable” in terms of Google searches and common perverse curiosity, but you and I both know that a self-portrait of him soaking his feet in the tub is somehow priceless.

This is the result of a hacker (thus the giant “Guccif[er]” logo, though I think “Bushwhacker” is way better) who leaked the content of the entire family’s phones and email accounts.

Let go of your past feelings. That whole worst president of all time who made up words, aimed his bellows at the recession and “forgot” the people of New Orleans thing. Ancient history.

Continue reading “George Bush Hacker Leaks Dubya Bath and Shower Pics”

Chelsea Handler Gets Naked With Sandra Bullock For New ‘Chelsea Lately’ Studio

Chelsea Handler has been talking up her move to a new studio (Conan’s old set from The Tonight Show) on the Universal Lot for several weeks now and that day finally arrived on October 15.

Her last episode in the old studio featured special appearances from rapping Gywneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz and Monday’s opening held another surprise –

Chelsea and Sandra Bullock in the shower. Bullock scolded Chelsea, slapping her and humiliated her with jokes about her bladder.

Continue reading “Chelsea Handler Gets Naked With Sandra Bullock For New ‘Chelsea Lately’ Studio”

Donnie Wahlberg Tweets Shirtless Photo Of New Gay Porn Stars On The Block

From left: Joey McIntyre, Jonathan Knight, Jordan Knight, Donnie Wahlberg, and Danny Wood

The thrift-store version of Mark Wahlberg (Donnie) Tweeted a photo of him and his reunited New Kids On The Block bandmates in the shower with towels covering their mlams (man-clams).

They also all have gay porn mustaches. TS Walhberg offered an explanation of sorts, “After 3 months cultivating, countless insults, thousands of requests to shave the ‪#stache‬.”  Continue reading “Donnie Wahlberg Tweets Shirtless Photo Of New Gay Porn Stars On The Block”

Penn State Tries To Cleanse Image, Starts With Locker Rooms

Penn State doesn’t want to be known as “Pedo State” and will do anything to make people remember them for something besides Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky. Their first step is renovating the football shower and locker rooms which are haunted by the screams of soapy children.

Good job guys, but it’s 14 years too late, as TMZ pointed out. You’re doing this for you, not for the parents or the children whose lives are already ruined. On a disgrace level, the renovation ranks somewhere below hazing scandals and not reporting known sex offenders and above positive steroid tests. Continue reading “Penn State Tries To Cleanse Image, Starts With Locker Rooms”

That’s Adrien Brody, Taking It On A Yacht

I’ve always thought of Adrien Brody as an actor version of Michael Jackson minus the Jesus Juice and the walking happy meals that visited him on Neverland Ranch. He’s really talented, but I don’t want to see him in any type of sexual situation.

Yet here he is, joking around in the shower on a yacht with his girlfriend Lara Lieto. They look like a fun couple, and he looks genuinely happy in the other pictures where his face is visible. I shouldn’t even be surprised that they take turns wearing the strap-on. Or maybe he just puts his nose in her?

Excuse me, I need to take a shower now too, to scrub this image from my eyes with industrial-grade soap infused with mandatory extra bleach.

Poor Steven Tyler, Fell, Got Back Up, Turned Into Gollum

According to a study conducted at University of Michigan, a third of people age 60 and older have difficulty getting in and out of the bath or shower, even with safety equipment installed.

Do you know how old American Idol/Aerosmith frontlady Steven Tyler is? 63. So of course I believe him when he says that he hasn’t fallen off the wagon. He wasn’t drunk or high when he fell in the shower, he’s just old and frail, like Gollum.

Continue reading “Poor Steven Tyler, Fell, Got Back Up, Turned Into Gollum”