Rachel Bilson’s Baby Sadly Isn’t Named ‘Darth’ Anything

darth vader summer robertsSummer Roberts and Darth Vader had a baby together and named it Briar Rose, code name for Disney Princess Aurora of Sleeping Beauty, which is barely Star Wars-related and completely un-O.C.ified. (Was really hoping for Darth Roberts, Summer Vader or Darth Mall.)

Briar Rose, otherwise known as B-Rose, enjoys long walks on the pier, pouting, gingerbread lattes and electrocuting people with her chubby fingertips.

At this point, Hayden Christensen needed the baby to at least secure child support payments from Bilson once she divorces him for COMMISSIONER GORDON.

It’s a Darth, Darth Summer, leaving me here on my own…

‘Maleficent’ is a Sword in the Heart of ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Fans Everywhere

Maleficent new and old
Maleficent did mighty well at the box office, resulting in Angelina Jolie’s biggest opening weekend that trumped Tomb Raider and Wanted by millions, but many fans of Disney’s original Sleeping Beauty are calling it disappointing and a little anti-feminist.

The discussion on where Maleficent went wrong seems to always begin with the villain not being nearly as evil as we remember: from her strange, distant interactions with Princess Aurora, the botched story of how she lost her wings and turned evil goth solely because of a man, and the fact that she never f*cking turns into a dragon.

Via i09’s “How Could Disney Do This To Maleficent“:

She doesn’t really build any sort of personality; instead all we see is a woman who is reacting to a slew of terrible things her former lover inflicts on her. It just seems like she’s running around, coming up with all of these ideas as they hit her. Her go-to move is to zap people into unconscious human balloons, which she then manipulates around in the air.

The article’s author, Meredith Woerner says the film spends way too much time on Aurora and not her wicked fairy godmother, and that the retelling of the story depicts Maleficent as a mentally weak woman who makes rash decisions because Aurora’s father, King Stefan, “drugged and violated her.” Continue reading “‘Maleficent’ is a Sword in the Heart of ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Fans Everywhere”

You Ready For ‘Maleficent’? …Angelina Jolie Is

first Maleficent posterI fear 3D-ready live-action Disney adaptations more than I love Angelina Jolie. I mean… Oz The Great and Powerful, Alice in Wonderland… why so shiny?

Perhaps we can rest easy knowing Tim Burton DID NOT direct Maleficent? (We all remember a day when that sentence would have been appalling.) And speaking of shiny, look at the new poster!

Jolie, who hasn’t starred in a movie since 2010’s The Tourist, looks as devilish as she did when she was ripping off rich men in Original Sin.

Pajiba is right in pointing out that  the “gleam in her eye” appears to be back.

Maleficent, the intriguing feature starring Sleeping Beauty’s villain, also starring Elle Fanning, Juno Temple and Miranda Richardson, hits theaters May 30, 2014.

Angelina Jolie As Maleficent, ‘Mistress Of All Evil’

Here’s a first look at Angelina Jolie in the role she was born for, as Sleeping Beauty‘s Maleficent. A classic Disney tale with a twist – it’s from the viewpoint of the villain.

In 2010, Jolie called the chance to work with Tim Burton “extraordinary.” Too bad that’s not happening anymore, as he has been replaced by first-time director, visual/special effects specialist Robert Stromberg.

I already have more faith in the quality of Maleficent (due 2014) now that Burton isn’t involved. He forgot how to make movies as soon as the countdown for the year 2000 began.

Continue reading “Angelina Jolie As Maleficent, ‘Mistress Of All Evil’”