Dog Takes Bikini-Clad Mariah Carey Out For a Walk

Mariah Carey bikini snowMariah Carey is in Aspen for Christmas and is fulfilling the ancient Anglo-Saxon tradition of walking one’s dog in just a bikini during snowy, 20-degree weather.

No seriously, this is a tradition. Instagram says so. America’s Got Talent is over, but I guess Nick Cannon found some other excuse to not pose next to her in a thin red banana hammock. We all know Mariah’s second-favorite thing after Christmas is shaming her husband.

She went so far as to call herself the female version of Will Ferrell’s character in Elf on Watch What Happens Live!

“I’m him, but the girl version of the character!” the “All I Want for Christmas Is You” singer said. “I’m like a five-year-old, I’m the kid still waiting for snow.”  Continue reading “Dog Takes Bikini-Clad Mariah Carey Out For a Walk”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-8-13]

These photos of NFL teams playing in the snow are absolutely INSANE. (Yahoo!)

Ellen and Portia jump on Kim and Kanye’s “Bound” train. (E! Online)

The goalie from The Mighty Ducks likes to pee on people. (TMZ)

Selena Gomez acts her age, rage quits Jingle Ball concert. (Daily Mail)

People who make fun of Carrie Underwood are mean satanists. (Evil Beet)

Susan Boyle diagnosed with Asperger’s / and finally, it all makes sense. (Jezebel)

One-armed 127 Hours dude arrested for domestic violence in Colorado. (Gawker)

Madonna’s Kids and Boyfriend Ski Circles Around Her Corpse

Madonna skiiingNew York Daily News has photos of Madonna tumbling down the slopes at a ski resort in Switzerland like a bag of gluten-free Snickerdoodles.

Her daughter Lourdes and 25-year-old boytoy Brahim (almost the same age as Crystal Harris) watched from afar as their mama ate snow, not laughing at all (because if they did, she’d shut them in her hyperbaric chamber with Elton John and Guy Ritchie).  Continue reading “Madonna’s Kids and Boyfriend Ski Circles Around Her Corpse”