Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song

Beyonce partition video still underwearBeyonce randomly released a new self-titled album on Thursday on iTunes without promoting it or mentioning the release date prior.

There are also 17, count ’em, SEVENTEEN new music videos and everyone’s talking about how only she and a handful of other mega famous artists could pull off such ballsy move, but what they’re failing to mention is that the CD is super raunchy.

In the absolutely filthy “Blow,” Bey sings “Can you lick my Skittles, that’s the sweetest in the middle, pink that’s the flavor,” “I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out” and “give me that daddy long stroke.” Continue reading “Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song”

Lady Gaga Reveals ARTPOP Tracklist

ARTPOP cover Lady Gaga has been quite the busy bee this week, unveiling her ARTPOP album art in Times Square as well as the entire 15-song tracklist and a new song from Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills soundtrack, which hits theaters tomorrow and features Gaga in her acting debut as the mysterious temptress La Chameleón.

The titles are a sort of personalized Scrabble board of obvious Gaga-esque obsessions (Versace, manicures, fashion) and super duper artsy stuff like drugs and wet dreams. Really Gaga, Mary Jane Holland? …Most obvious weed reference EVER.

1. Aura
2. Venus
3. G.U.Y.
4. Sexxx Dreams
5. Jewels N’ Drugs (featuring T.I., Too $hort, and Twista)
7. Do What U Want (featuring R. Kelly)
9. Swine
10. Donatella
11. Fashion!
12. Mary Jane Holland
13. Dope
14. Gypsy
15. Applause

DJ Earworm’s Mash-Up of Every Pop Song You Remember From 2012

faces of pop 2012San Francisco mash-up king DJ Earworm (Jordan Roseman) releases a master mix of all the radio-friendly songs of the year in December, and 2012’s is here, ripe with van Gogh-worthy tracks from Adele, One Direction, Ke$ha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Rihanna, PSY and more.

This one’s called “Shine Brighter” and it’s bound to get actual airplay, and a video complete with clips from every artist on Earworm’s YouTube channel shortly.

Poll: which song do you hate the least? I’m going with Bruno Mars’ “Locked out of Heaven,” mostly because it’s not as old as the others and therefore less overplayed.

(I don’t quite get why “Titanium” is absent? It was released Dec. 9, 2011, but Adele’s “Set Fire To The Rain” is from Nov. 2011 and was included. Poor Sia.) Continue reading “DJ Earworm’s Mash-Up of Every Pop Song You Remember From 2012”

Kanye West Is ‘Worst DJ Ever’ According To Fans

Kanye West made his American DJing debut using his ridiculous Ron Artest-inspired moniker “Yeezy World Peace” last night at a New Year’s Eve party hosted by Fergie.

A few people who attended the party (entrance fee: $300-$15,00 dollars) took to Twitter calling him “awful” and the “worst ever.” I wouldn’t completely take two people’s word for it if I hadn’t heard what exactly he spun.

Looks like the notorious narcissist played mostly his own songs and artists signed to his label, G.O.O.D. plus a few others, like Rihanna’s “We Found Love,” Skrillrex’s “The Devil’s Den” and one Michael Jackson song.

Otherwise it was “Gold Digger” “Good Life” and then “Niggas In Paris” a total of five times, just like he does on his Watch The Throne tour with Jay-Z. It’s a good song and all, but who wants to hear it more than once at a concert or party? Not to mention the fact that it’s a bitch to request if you’re white.

Continue reading “Kanye West Is ‘Worst DJ Ever’ According To Fans”

11 Awesome Stalker Songs

Everybody has had a stalker or has been one, at some point, and everybody loves songs about stalkers. It’s almost, romanticized, in society, and songs only help perpetuate that. This is the only reasoning I need for the following list…

1. Blondie – “One Way Or Another.” Ever sung this song in Rock Band or if you’re braver, during actual bar karaoke? Then you’ve probably come to the striking realization that this is one of the truest and most obvious cases of a fatal attraction. Thankfully there’s no mention of bunny rabbits here, just Deborah Harry screaming in her throaty witch voice that she’ll drive past your house, follow your bus and “getcha.”

Continue reading “11 Awesome Stalker Songs”

Rihanna’s Official ‘Talk That Talk’ Tracklist

With a release date just days before Thanksgiving, Rihanna’s sixth studio album in a mere seven years, looks to exceed expectations. Her previous effort, Loud, may have earned lukewarm reactions from the critics, but the fans went for it whole-heartedly and so did the queen of Barbadian pop.

She made music videos for half the tracks on Loud, toured all over the U.S. plus overseas and hasn’t let up besides her recent bout with the flu. Her new song “We Found Love,” an electronically dumb yet blissful pairing with Calvin Harris, is the first look at Talk That Talk, due November 21st.

Continue reading “Rihanna’s Official ‘Talk That Talk’ Tracklist”

Lana Del Rey Has Three Songs! Is Still The Next Adele

Lana Del Rey, (formerly Elizabeth Grant) premiered a new song, and appeared on the cover of Wonderland Magazine for a fabulously intelligent and snarky interview regarding her fame and lip-enhancement surgery rumors.

“I’m sure it wouldn’t have happened if I were a man. What other people think of me is none of my business but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

If this woman doesn’t become the next Adele or Amy Winehouse, I’m really going to individually leave flaming cat poo bags at the door of every single American and English person in the world.

Continue reading “Lana Del Rey Has Three Songs! Is Still The Next Adele”

Naya Rivera And Heather Morris’ Glee Song Hopes

Naya Rivera and Heather Morris recently revealed their hopes for song choices on Fox’s upcoming season three of the hit show, Glee.

Rivera expressed interest in Adele and Billie Holiday while both Heather and Naya revealed interest in Paris Hilton’s underrated pop number “Stars Are Blind.”

Rivera says,

“I don’t have a dream song, I have artists I would really like to do. Maybe Billie Holiday. Some Adele…I want her to sing Paris Hilton, ‘Stars Are Blind…'”

Continue reading “Naya Rivera And Heather Morris’ Glee Song Hopes”

Nick Cannon Whacks It To Mariah Songs, Wants Scientist Children

Mariah Carey‘s husband, D-list actor/musician Nick Cannon has been put his hoof in his mouth for the millionth time.

This week, he talked to People Magazine about a potential career for his children, and spoke to the radio show Mojo In The Morning about his “special moments” with his wife’s music.

Mojo: When you guys get intimate with each other…Have you ever listened to one of her songs or one of your songs?…

Continue reading “Nick Cannon Whacks It To Mariah Songs, Wants Scientist Children”

Random Muppets ‘Green Album’ At Starbucks

Standing in line today to finally fulfill my craving for a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks, I flip through the four albums eyeing me from the counter by the biscotti and gift cards, and what do I find?

An album full of Muppet cover songs. A strang grouping of artists – a Weezer and Haley Williams pairing? Alkaline Trio? Rachael Yamagata? Hmm I like all these things, on their own. BUT NOT ON A MUPPET COVER ALBUM!

Continue reading “Random Muppets ‘Green Album’ At Starbucks”

She & Him’s Christmas Record

Upon hearing She & Him’s charming 60’s-inspired debut album in 2008 and previously hearing Zooey Deschanel sing “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in Elf, co-starring Will Ferrell, it was only inevitable that Zooey Deschanel would be involved in a music-related Christmas project.

She & Him’s (also featuring Portland hipster M.Ward) third album will be filled with holiday cheer – sweet like eggnog and popcorn strings and the smell of a Blue Spruce. Set to release October 25th…

Continue reading “She & Him’s Christmas Record”

The 15 Biggest Songs Of Summer 2011

1. Adele – “Rolling In The Deep.” Adele is the standing ovation artist of 2010 and 2011. Her songwriting and vocal abilities not to mention the message of her songs propelled her further and further into fame after her sophomoric album 21 was released.

“Rolling In The Deep” was her first single to hit number one in the states AND beat out every other song of 2011 as the longest-running chart topper. It may not be the “happiest” song of summer, but it is the most memorable of the entire year. Adele revived white lady soul and after Amy Winehouse’s passing she is one of the only ones we have to turn to.

2. Katy Perry “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” Is this song avoidable? No. Do you hate it? Yes. Do you love it? Yes… Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” is what happens when you pair up the man who wrote Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” with the man who co-wrote Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” and Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.” Holy crap, this song is like the disclaimer below the definition of pop music. (Am I the only one who thought the beloved empress of cleavage was simply craving some late night T.G.I. Fridays?) Enlisting Rebecca Black, Kevin McHale, Debbie Gibson, Hanson and Corey Feldman for the video didn’t hurt either.

3. Britney Spears “I Wanna Go.” Femme Fatale is scientific proof that Britney Spears knows how to survive in the ever-changing music industry. Or, her people know how to survive in the industry, the people she hires/approves. Good enough. “I Wanna Go” is the third single off Femme Fatale, Britney’s seventh full-length album, and believe it or not, this single caused her CD to be the first in her discography to have three top ten singles. I never thought I’d say it, but bring on the heavy basslines, vocoders and techno-influence.

4. LMFAO – “Party Rock Anthem” Feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock. Those guys that you heard in the intro to the Kardashian spinoff series Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami – they’re the ones who sing “Party Rock Anthem.” Bet you never thought they’d make it, with their spandex, kitchy sunglasses, overwhelming use of gold and leopard-print sasquatch body hair. But they did, and “Party Rock Anthem” is as big as it gets. Typical paint-by-numbers club song.

Continue reading “The 15 Biggest Songs Of Summer 2011”

Download: Summer’s End Reggae Mixtape

I hate to say “end of summer,” but it really is almost over. School supplies are being advertised and the only perk is that I won’t die of heat exhaust (even in Oregon) and all the little twerps will be back in school.

I’ve compiled a playlist of all my favorite reggae songs, from the 60’s to the 90’s, originating from Jamaica, Africa and even France.

Reggae is universal, especially for people my age (and older) and one of the most fitting sound of summer besides relentless pop music.

Download: Summer’s End Reggae Mixtape (zipped folder, 121 MB)

Complete tracklist after the jump…

Continue reading “Download: Summer’s End Reggae Mixtape”

Pete Wentz Is In A Fake Reggae Band

Pete Wentz, the former Mr. Ashlee Simpson, penis-exposing Fall Out Boy bassist, has a new band. While Fall Out Boy was largely considered a pop act, especially later on, his new project, Black Cards, is heavily leaning in the pop direction and also the fake reggae/ska direction.

And  by fake reggae I mean that it sounds like somebody misinterpreted a few Bob Marley or Specials songs then took the blurry misheard outline of  of them, injected them with mediocre electro-pop steroids and released them upon the world at one of the biggest music festivals in the world.

Wentz teamed up with his producer friend Sam Hollander, bandmates Nate Patterson, Spencer Peterson and previously undiscovered pop singer Bebe Rexha, who is actually a decent pop singer. (I see a solo career in her future)

Black Cards claims to be Brit-pop influenced, and recently performed songs like “Club Called Heaven” at 2011’s Lollapalooza and earlier in March at SXSW in Austin, TX. Their song “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Fame” was already released on a benefit album for Japan after the earthquake that occurred in March.

Dear Pete Wentz:
You know you’re no longer relevant when you have the same haircut as Kate Gosselin.