22 Firefighters Deliver Tourist From Vagina Statue

german vagina statue It took a multitude of completely unamused German firefighters to deliver one teen exchange student from a vagina-shaped sculpture after his friends urged him to climb inside for a photo-op.

No medical attention was needed, as there is no definitive cure for embarrassment. Seriously, this kid is going to be known as “vagina boy” until the end of time.

Girls he dates are going to think he’s one of them, and even after he’s adopted a new identity and is peering over a newspaper in Groucho glasses like someone from a 1950s spy movie, passersby are going to do a double take, pull up this photo from Imgur and chase him down the street yelling “It’s totally you!!!”

JoPa Bagged And Dragged Away In Chains

The husks of men otherwise known as the victims of Jerry Sandusky can breathe at least one sigh of relief.

That 900-pound bronze statue in front of Beaver Stadium of the now-deceased and formerly loved Joe Paterno has been taken down by forklift and moved to a “secure” storage location.

After his death on January 22, coach Paterno was honored by Pennsylvania governor Tom Corbett, who said “His place in our state’s history is secure…”

But not that secure. I think I’m with Louis Freeh on this one, who used the words “total disregard” when referring to JoPa and other higher-ups at the college.  Continue reading “JoPa Bagged And Dragged Away In Chains”

Penn State Tries To Cleanse Image, Starts With Locker Rooms

Penn State doesn’t want to be known as “Pedo State” and will do anything to make people remember them for something besides Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky. Their first step is renovating the football shower and locker rooms which are haunted by the screams of soapy children.

Good job guys, but it’s 14 years too late, as TMZ pointed out. You’re doing this for you, not for the parents or the children whose lives are already ruined. On a disgrace level, the renovation ranks somewhere below hazing scandals and not reporting known sex offenders and above positive steroid tests. Continue reading “Penn State Tries To Cleanse Image, Starts With Locker Rooms”

Attack Of The 26 Foot Marilyn

A 26-foot tall statue of Marilyn Monroe frozen in time doing her famous I-managed-to-make-a-subway-grate-sexy pose will be moved from Chicago and sent to Palm Springs, California next month.

“Forever Marilyn” may be as popular to tourists as Kennedy’s mistress herself but it was ranked number one in a list of bad public art with fiberglass cows and a tasteless statue of Bewitched star Elizabeth Montgomery in Salem trailing just behind. Some women even crinkled their nose and called the statue sexist while visitors shamelessly snap pictures from under her dress.  Continue reading “Attack Of The 26 Foot Marilyn”

Happy 4/20 From Willie Nelson! Now Save Money And Legalize It, Government Morons

Yesterday was 4/20! A day for burnouts who already smoke pot daily to smoke even more pot and text their friends pictures of half-empty baggies full of green stank. It’s also Hitler’s birthday. Unsettling.

In honor of that (Mary Jane, not Hitler) I will tell you three stoner-related stories, well two about Willie Nelson and one on money we’d save as a country if the damn stuff was legalized already.

First, an 8-foot bronze statue of the king of hemp hippies (Willie) was unveiled in Austin yesterday AND he released a version of “Roll Me Up And Smoke Me When I Die” featuring Kris Kristofferson and Snoop Dogg. From smokable books to Tupac to this. Now, about that tricky federal deficit…  Continue reading “Happy 4/20 From Willie Nelson! Now Save Money And Legalize It, Government Morons”

House Of Bieber Wax With A Side Of Gomez

As if the very idea of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez doesn’t terrify cynical hipsters and metalheads universally, the pairing of the two is enough to make heads implode but wax figures that look like this? Well that could light the fuse to earth’s destruction.

Okay, I’m blowing this out of proportion. I just don’t like wax figures even when they’re not particularly realistic, like these. The two statues were unveiled at Madame Tussaud’s in New York in a Christmas-themed scene which will be on display until January 1, 2012.

Continue reading “House Of Bieber Wax With A Side Of Gomez”

Justin Bieber’s Penis Statue

That guy that makes super creepy shock value statues is at it again…

The 46 year-old Connecticut-based sculptor, Daniel Edward, who is famous for his pop culture related “art.” He once did a sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth, all bent over on a bearskin rug AND more recently he made one of a naked conjoined Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. (Justin and Selena As One, he called it)

He defends his recent statue,

It would be naive and hypocritical for anyone to be offended by this simple sculpture, yet be apathetic towards the plethora of images to which they subject themselves on a daily basis. I stand by the work.

Continue reading “Justin Bieber’s Penis Statue”