Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Continue reading “Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring”

The 10 Best Images From the ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Premiere

Taissa Farmiga Coven still
In “Bitchcraft,” the twisted season three premiere of American Horror Story: Coven, we follow Zoe (Taissa Farmiga, much younger sister of Bates Motel’s Vera Farmiga), a young woman who is sent away to a boarding school for teen witches run by Ryan Murphy-muses Jessica Lange (as the “supreme” head witch of all witches) and Sarah Paulson (kind-hearted daughter of the supreme) after she accidentally makes her boyfriend ooze blood from the mouth, eyes and nose during sex.
Kathy Bates American Horror Story Coven still blood
It opens with Kathy Bates as the infamous Madame LaLaurie  in 1830s New Orleans in a memorable scene involving naked black men in cages. She puts a bull’s head on one and calls him a minotaur.

She’s clearly evil, but perhaps not as evil as voodoo queen Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) who is out for vengeance, and appears to be quite a source of irritation for the present-day witches of Louisiana.
Emma Roberts Gabourey Sidibe still
At the end of the episode, Kathy Bates is brought out of the earth in the present-day by a hilariously campy Lange, who, to my delight, references falling houses and Hogwarts.

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Daniel Radcliffe Gets Horny For New Horror Movie

Stills of Daniel Radcliffe on the Vancouver, CA set of the upcoming horror flick Horns directed by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes remake) have surfaced and they are quite interesting, is the word I’m looking for?

Description from IMDb:

In the aftermath of his girlfriend’s mysterious death, a young man awakens to strange horns sprouting from his temples.

Not much to go on, but as you can see, DanRad is resisting arrest… with horns. Maleficent’s vs. Harry Potter coming in 2015.

In other semi-related news, Radcliffe shares a bathtub with Jon Hamm in a four-part miniseries and jokes that the scene has made him the envy of “every woman ever.”  Continue reading “Daniel Radcliffe Gets Horny For New Horror Movie”

Actress Claims She Had An Emotional Affair With Patrick Swayze

You’d probably have a hard time blindly guessing which leading lady had a non-sexual affair with Patrick Swayze, so I’ll just tell you that it’s Kirstie Alley and not Jennifer Grey or Demi Moore.

Even though Swayze is not alive to defend himself, we don’t have to assume that Alley is telling the truth. Quite the opposite in fact, this is the perfect time to say you had a strong mental connection with one of the most swoonworthy men in history.  Continue reading “Actress Claims She Had An Emotional Affair With Patrick Swayze”

The Best Stills From ‘Piranha 3DD’ (NSFW)

Despite receiving horrendous reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and making $182,237 in its first weekend in North America and being beat by Salmon Fishing In The Yemen in the UK, Piranha 3DD is pretty entertaining.

I don’t see how fans of Alexandre Aja’s Piranha 3D could hate its sequel.

It has twice the nudity, Ving Rhames with shotguns for legs, David Hasselhoff reprising his role as a lifeguard, Christopher Lloyd using YouTube, and flesh-eating fish in manmade drainage pipes.

Continue reading “The Best Stills From ‘Piranha 3DD’ (NSFW)”

Video: Die Antwoord – “Baby’s On Fire”

I haven’t seen Men In Black III yet but from the previous two films I know that the basic premise is aliens living among humans and can easily relate that to this video.

In “Baby’s On Fire” I’m supposed to believe that Yolandi Visser of the South African electro-rap group Die Antwoord isn’t from another planet?

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Video: Gossip – “Perfect World”

Gossip have come a long way since their entry into the music world on 2000’s That’s Not What I Heard. Songs like “Got Body If You Want It” and “Where The Girls Are” helped establish them as a group with a singer as guttural as fellow WA Olympians Sleater Kinney.

The band began turning towards pop, heavily so for their previous album. Beth Ditto‘s solo EP drew nearly as many comparisons to Madonna as Lady Gaga. It may seem like a long departure from her “punk” roots, but Ditto has always been hugely into other genres.  Continue reading “Video: Gossip – “Perfect World””

Video: Garbage – “Blood For Poppies”

Yesterday I participated in the live Garbage UStream chat and premiere of their new video, the first since “Tell Me Where It Hurts” from their best-of, Absolute Garbage.

I didn’t learn much from my music idols, but it was thrilling to see them together. The video along with tracklist announcements and tour dates confirm that all of this is real. Garbage is back.

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Video: Kat Graham – “Put Your Graffiti On Me”

That witch from The Vampire Diaries has a new song out and it’s loud and manic and colorful…everything you could ask for in a pulpy pop anthem, just in time for Spring.

Former strawberry Fanta girl Kat Graham goes apeshit sexy b-a-n-a-n-a-s in “Put Your Graffiti On Me,” hitting a cowbell with pink leopard print lips and a hoard of spray-painting knicker sluts.
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Video: Katy Perry – “Part Of Me”

Katy Perry strapped her boobs down (impossible), cut her wig hair and joined the Marine corps after a fictional breakup that was lyrically not inspired by Russell Brand because it was written in late 2010.

Perry wanted to make it as real as possible so she used real Marines and visited CA’s Camp Pendleton where she learned a few tips from the pros.  Continue reading “Video: Katy Perry – “Part Of Me””

Video: Madonna – “Girl Gone Wild”

Part “Erotica” part “Vogue “part “Human Nature” Madonna’s new video, “Girl Gone Wild,” is a vivid collage of the queen of pop’s career, a semi-unintentional best-of so to speak.

Directed by usual Vogue and W Magazine photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. If you like homoerotic thrusting and original songs that sound like remixes, this is for you.  Continue reading “Video: Madonna – “Girl Gone Wild””

Video: Datarock – “California”

In Norwegian electro-geniuses Datarock’s new video, we are bombarded by high energy shots of a sweatsuit-wearing dancing (borderline parkouring) fool.

“California” is off their EP of the same name. The accompanying video was shot in Los Angeles and co-directed by founding Devo member Gerald V. Casale.

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Since When Does Batman Sweat Outside His Suit?

The third set of stills from The Dark Knight Rises have come out and I’m a little curious about one picture in particular, where an assistant/Nolan lackey is dabbing Batman’s head with a cloth.

Is the suit sweating? Was there a stain on it? Was it not shiny enough?

Whatever the reason, it looks like a waste of time. You know what DOESN’T look like a waste of time? This epic fight scene between Baleman and Bane (Tom Hardy) near the Occupy Wall Street riots!

Government bailouts? BIFF. No health insurance? BAM. Student loans? THWACK. Damp tent? POW.

I’d really like to see that deep-voiced nutsack Batman taken down a notch for screwing over America/Gotham and letting Rachel Dawes die.

On a random note, the more I see Anne Hathaway in that Star Fleet costume the more I wish someone would put her in a bag and toss her in a lake. (Catwoman not Anne, they’re different, right?)

Continue reading “Since When Does Batman Sweat Outside His Suit?”

Video: The Kills – “Baby Says”

This video is actually pretty good, as long as you don’t have any problems with cross-dressing, or the musings of Alison Mosshart accompanied by Kate Moss’s extremely talented guitarist husband, Jamie Hince.

Here’s a description of the video for “Baby Says,” off the fourth and most “sensible” album (Blood Pressures) to date, from The Kills

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Video: Nervo – “We’re All No One” Feat. Afrojack

 After opening for Britney Spears for her North American Femme Fatale tour, the Aussie twin-sister DJ duo of Liv and Mim, who make up Nervo, had high expectations for themselves.

They’ve written songs for bigshots like Ke$ha and Nicole Scherzinger and now star in their very first music video featuring Afrojack and Steve Aoki, which they describe as “scary” and “unbearable.”

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