Underage Justin Bieber Grabs a Beer and a Handful of Texan Stripper Booty

justin bieber shirtless strip clubSome girls break free of their clean-cut image by wearing more revealing clothing and making risky non nun-approved career moves, but Justin Bieber isn’t like the other girls.

He breaks free by being completely topless in public, drinking Dos Equis and molesting exotic dancer sirloin.

Would he get girls (or boys) if he wasn’t famous? Yes, but not nearly as many.

Instead of being at some ultra-packed strip club in Texas, he’d be at the dive on the corner throwing quarters into the cheese-filled ass dimples of girls with nicknames like Buckwheat and Tiny.

I’m about to turn my own life around and open a really popular club in L.A. with a strict “no shirt, no service” policy for the sole satisfaction of rejecting Justin the second him and his goofball entourage catch wind of it just to prove that rules do in fact apply to them.

Read: Unbeliebable: 33-year-old Bieber fan has $100k of plastic surgery to look like his idol

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