Brian Williams Suspended For 6 Months For Lying

Jon Stewart Brian Williams quoteNews anchor Brian Williams has been suspended by NBC for 6 months without pay for saying he was in a helicopter that had to make an emergency landing after coming under fire in Iraq.

To add insult to injury, Williams claimed he told the lie because umm, like, a bunch of helicopters crashed that day and stuff and he was in a helicopter but just not one of those helicopters and he forget that that totally didn’t happen to him at all because he’s got a lot going on, like trying to ignore trolls who send him videos of his daughter getting her ass eaten out.

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Alec Baldwin Suspended From MSNBC For Rudeness

Alec Baldwin shirtless gunWhile testifying at the trial of a woman who sent emails about ovulation and sweet sweet love making, Alec Baldwin got himself in big trouble when he called a reporter “dumb.”

MSNBC is punishing him by suspending his interview show, Up Late, for two weeks.

From Variety:

He then insulted the reporter, saying, “You are as dumb as you look. You are with Fox, right?”

On Thursday, Baldwin warded off photographers he felt were getting too close to his family. At one point during the confrontation, he was heard using an anti-gay slur.  Baldwin later used Twitter to call attention to the offensiveness of such language.

Then he apologized for the millionth time, shoved Tina Fey in front of him and shocked her with a cattle prod until she convinced everyone that he’s a sweet and misunderstood guy.

Crazy Drunk NASCAR Driver Amanda Bynes Finally Lost Her License

When I say Amanda Bynes “lost” her license, it wasn’t like “oopsy, where did it go, is it under the couch cushion?” it’s more like, bitches who crash into a thousand cars (one belonging to a sheriff) get their licenses suspended.

The Los Angeles Times recently uncovered records from California’s DMV indicating that the troubled lunatic driver/What I Like About You star’s behind-the-wheel privileges have been indefinitely abolished.

She now faces possibly jail time for two  hit-and-run charges, DUI, and refusing a blood alcohol and/or breathalyzer test. Strange for someone who claims to “not drink.”

Looks like the authorities still managed to recognize her after her makeover/disguise (pictured) and pleas with Obama. Oh Mr. President, you wouldn’t arrest a patriotic hooker, would you???

Metta World’s Unpeaceful Elbow To The Head

Metta World Peace (formerly Ron Artest) was suspended for 7 games after his brutal hit to Oklahoma Thunder’s James Harden. In a statement to reporters after the game last on Sunday, April 22 where he apologized profusely.

“I got real emotional and excited, and it was unfortunate that James had to get hit with the unintentional elbow. I hope he’s okay. Oklahoma, they’re playing for a championship this year. I apologize to the Thunder and James Harden. It was just unfortunate.”

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Alleged Dominatrix Suspended From NY Attorney Job

Alisha Smith, 36, an assistant attorney general in New York was suspended from her job for possibly having an after hours secret.

The NY Post cited claims that Smith is a well-known BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Submission And Masochism) performer who goes by the name “Alisha Spark.”

Alisha Clare “Spark” Smith may have made a crucial error when she gave certain sex product advice on Twitter, to her friend and well-known dominatrix, “Jade Vixen” aka Edythe Maa.

As a lawyer for the Manhattan Investor Protection Bureau, Smith has worked on lawsuits against companies like Bank of America, winning an estimated $5 billion in total against various banks…

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