Ryan Lochte Can’t Even Lift a Teenage Girl

London Olympics Swimming MenWater caveman Ryan Lochte was injured a few weeks ago in Florida when he failed to catch a fanatical teen girl who jumped into his arms.

It’s especially sad and surprising that Lochte tore not one but TWO ligaments in his knee while attempting to lift a 110-pound girl, because we all assumed he was more brawn than brains, and now we know he’s neither. From ESPN:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Olympian Ryan Lochte will miss next month’s Duel in the Pool, leaving the U.S. without its top male swimmer for the meet against a team of European all-stars.

Lochte tore a ligament and sprained another in his left knee on Nov. 3 after an excited teenage girl ran at him and the two fell over in Gainesville, Fla.

Maybe he got confused and thought the girl was his long lost daughter? Or a sandwich?

Can We Talk About ABC’s New Diving Show?

Celebrity diving showBecause of the success of Dancing With The Stars, ABC has disregarded the non-success of Fox’s 2012 celebrity diving show Stars in Danger (featuring JWoww, Antonio Sabato Jr. and Terrell Owens) with their own rendition, called Splash.

Based on a show of the same name in the UK on ITV starring olympian Tom Daley, America’s Splash has enlisted true talents like 40-year-old Baywatch boob juggler Nicole Eggert and professional corpse girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson.

Can you think of anything more boring than watching celebrities jump off a high dive? As children, this is something we fear more than losing teeth or going through puberty, but is that phobia enough to captivate a grown-up audience?

Continue reading “Can We Talk About ABC’s New Diving Show?”

Rihanna’s Vacation Photos Will Make You Feel Boring

Remember that study about Facebook, that said it makes everything worse for people with low self-esteem (almost everyone) because “Prominent displays of status updates, flattering photos and shots of happy-looking people” make us feel like scheisse?

Rihanna’s latest Facebook photos fall right under that description. Ms. BarbadoClownTastic’s picture section was just updated with no more than 169 visuals from her vacation to Hawaii late last year.

Continue reading “Rihanna’s Vacation Photos Will Make You Feel Boring”